Need mans take on this

[Wantluv]

Dated a guy, he says you're looking at other men when you're with me... he says you're flirting with other men...

I was always telling him I love you, you're the only man I want to be with. Then I say I'm with you.. He says i just see me him as a sugar daddy. I say that's how you see yourself.

When I went out of my way to make sure he didn't feel that way

He said " were to old for all that"

Help is it me or is it his insecurities?

[rightondude]

I don't know you and how you go about leering at other men or draining this guy's bank account, but if neither of those statements are accurate I'd say he might just be a tad bit insecure.

[coolheadal]

You should be looking at your guy, and he should be looking at you. Everyone else doesn't matter when you two have clearly shown the world your so deeply in love. That's the way I feel when I get to that level. Holding hands, inner lock arms holding grabbing each other and kissing in public not always in private.

 

I don't know you, and he's telling you what he sees. You are right sot say you are with him, but what else are you doing. I had woman say that to me but she was swaying looking around. That's when your not fully into the guy your with. You should stay on focus.. Are you not focus on your man?

[coolheadal]

You should be looking at your guy, and he should be looking at you. Everyone else doesn't matter when you two have clearly shown the world your so deeply in love. That's the way I feel when I get to that level. Holding hands, inner lock arms holding grabbing each other and kissing in public not always in private.

 

I don't know you, and he's telling you what he sees. You are right sot say you are with him, but what else are you doing. I had woman say that to me but she was swaying looking around. That's when your not fully into the guy your with. You should stay on focus.. Are you not focus on your man?

 

Stop flirting with other men. If that's what your doing he's telling you and your not listening.. Are you draining his account.. If you said I love you you got to mean it just don't say it! Just to make it feel good about himself with you or you feel good saying to he can be more okay with you. But stop flirting..

[JEG88]

OP - more context would help.

 

Do you actually flirt with other men when you're with your S/O?

 

Do you help pay for meals, gifts, adventures, trips, etc.? Or do you let him pay for everything?

 

Be honest with yourself on these questions.

[staggerlee71]

There is not enough information here. Are you flirting? He could be insecure.

 

Why does he think he is a sugar daddy? He feels that way for a reason.

 

is there a lack of reciprocation going on?

 

It could be you, or he could be insecure. Need some examples

[Romantic_Antics]

Barring outright flirting with other men in his presence or overly conspicuous eyeballing of every decent looking man around you, he's just being insecure. If you're still together (I can't tell - you said "dated", which is past tense) and really do love him, try to discuss the issue of his insecurity. Maybe he'll open up about it and tell you why he's insecure and then make an effort to change it. Don't force that change on him though. He will need to be able to acknowledge it as his own problem and genuinely want to address it for his sake, for your sake, and for the long-term health of the relationship.

[coolheadal]

OP if your not happy with the guy they you should leave him. Why are you flirting with other men? Why do you take the risk for? Listen to the my you claim to be in love with "I love you" but do you really mean it. You said to him you go home with him or you use the excuse I am with you. So you can have fun at his expense. He's saying to you better stop doing it. But you'll see. Maybe he's too nice for you and you want that bad boy your use too...Nice won';t take risk and the bad will take risk. "Lets do this now" where the Good would say "Well we should think this over first".

[Wantluv]

I don't think I'm flirting, but he always focus on my wrong doing not his.

He wasn't paying my bills , but he did pay for everything, he

Doesn't matter were not together anymore

He was insecure, I think I just miss the ideal of him/us

[JEG88]

I don't think I'm flirting, but he always focus on my wrong doing not his.

He wasn't paying my bills , but he did pay for everything, he

Doesn't matter were not together anymore

He was insecure, I think I just miss the ideal of him/us

 

You don't "think" you were flirting?

 

And he did pay for everything when you were together, at least in the sense of everything that comes with being in a relationship at that level.

 

Where there's smoke, there's fire...I think you're lying to yourself, OP.

[staggerlee71]

Jeg, why do I get that same vibe

[Romantic_Antics]

I don't think I'm flirting, but he always focus on my wrong doing not his.

 

The problem is, if you were flirting with other men, then he had every right to be "insecure". This reminds me of my ex who lied to me more than a dozen times (two of the lies were repeat offenders) and would then dismiss my lack of trust as insecurity. I even believed her about that for a little while until I reigned those horses to a halt and said, "Wait a minute. I'm not an insecure person and have never been insecure in a relationship before. I don't trust you because you've lied to me repeatedly". Pathological liars are great manipulators.

 

At any rate, if you were flirting with other men while the two of you were together then you need to take some responsibility for your actions and not just say that he was insecure.

[Steve51]

Only you know if you are looking at other guys or view him as a sugar daddy. We just have your side of the story. In either case, don't spend more time with this guy since whether you are or not, it is not working out well.