Asking someone out at tennis?

[max3732]

When I'm doing a private lesson there's a very attractive woman doing a lesson with a different instructor at the same time. My coach even mentioned how cute she is and told me he could see what I was up to when I was talking to her before our lessons started.

 

Last week I talked to her about 5 minutes and just kind of introduced myself. This week I'd like to ask her out. She's almost a complete beginner at tennis, whereas I'm a fairly advanced player so would asking her to play tennis be strange?

 

The advantages I see are that I know it's something she's interested in and that it's something I'm good at so I won't make a fool of myself. There's a place to eat within walking distance that's outside so I was thinking of asking to play and then grab a bite to eat. I did that with someone whose my level before and it worked well.

 

If not tennis, what should I say? I don't have a lot of time to talk to her since the coaches are usually on the court pretty quickly and I'm a bit embarrassed asking her in front of them.

[smackie9]

I think getting together to play tennis is a wonderful idea. Keep things simple and try not to over think things. Be sure to ask if she has a BF before going all out to grab something to eat.

[coolheadal]

I think getting together to play tennis is a wonderful idea. Keep things simple and try not to over think things. Be sure to ask if she has a BF before going all out to grab something to eat.

 

I agree with this also.. But I would like to add this... First off is she into men? If so then you got to find out if she's with guy, seeking one, living with one, engage, already married, or married still and separated?

[max3732]

I agree with this also.. But I would like to add this... First off is she into men? If so then you got to find out if she's with guy, seeking one, living with one, engage, already married, or married still and separated?

 

Aside from looking for a ring to see if she's married, how can I tell if she has a boyfriend before I ask her to play?

[Cookiesandough]

"Do you have a boyfriend?" You're not splitting an atom here!!

 

Tennis sounds good

Edited October 8, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[angel.eyes]

If she has no ring, just ask her if she would like to play tennis with you. Stop throwing up theoretical obstacles! If she has a boyfriend, he will come up in conversation.

 

Best time to approach would be as you're both leaving the court after your respective lessons, assuming they end at the same time.

 

If you don't want an audience of tennis pros watching you ask her on the courts, go grab a sip at the water fountain and finish up as she walks off the court. You can chat as you both walk away from the tennis courts.

 

When I was a beginner, I was always excited when a good player, invariably a guy, asked to play with me. As a beginner, it is didn't seem "weird" at all. Quite the opposite. I thought it was so nice that they were encouraging me by offering to play with me. Now I understand why guys who were such strong players (5.0+) were so generous with their time. That being said, I ended up dating two guys I met that way very briefly.

[coolheadal]

Aside from looking for a ring to see if she's married, how can I tell if she has a boyfriend before I ask her to play?

 

My friend you are a teacher, you teach, I am sure you can figure out what to ask her like we all can. Talk and say things like I am sure you want to play more tennis after a few tennis lessons with your bf or husband. See how simple that was! Go try that.

[max3732]

If she has no ring, just ask her if she would like to play tennis with you. Stop throwing up theoretical obstacles! If she has a boyfriend, he will come up in conversation.

 

Best time to approach would be as you're both leaving the court after your respective lessons, assuming they end at the same time.

 

If you don't want an audience of tennis pros watching you ask her on the courts, go grab a sip at the water fountain and finish up as she walks off the court. You can chat as you both walk away from the tennis courts.

 

When I was a beginner, I was always excited when a good player, invariably a guy, asked to play with me. As a beginner, it is didn't seem "weird" at all. Quite the opposite. I thought it was so nice that they were encouraging me by offering to play with me. Now I understand why guys who were such strong players (5.0+) were so generous with their time. That being said, I ended up dating two guys I met that way very briefly.

 

Glad you didn't think it was weird that guys were offering to play with you. As much as I love tennis I know I need to try and go on dates and meet women vs. playing tennis or doing things with guys every night.

 

Good call about talking to her at the end of the lesson instead of before hand. We both finish around the same time so on the way out it is. I'm pretty nervous about asking her, but I figure I'm no worse off is she says no.

[SevenCity]

I think getting together to play tennis is a wonderful idea. Keep things simple and try not to over think things. Be sure to ask if she has a BF before going all out to grab something to eat.

 

OMG I think this is the first post of yours I disagree with!

 

OP - She could be ending a RL soon or seeing some guy who she's not crazy about. As much as people here think there is always a clean line, real life doesn't follow that script. Don't back her into a corner. Most hot chicks aren't single for long and go from one RL to the next with seemingly no break.

 

Also, playing tennis can be very buddy buddy. She can misunderstand your intentions.

 

Instead, ask her out for a drink. You'll know very quickly if she's interested.

[Cookiesandough]

My friend you are a teacher, you teach, I am sure you can figure out what to ask her like we all can. Talk and say things like I am sure you want to play more tennis after a few tennis lessons with your bf or husband. See how simple that was! Go try that.

 

I think she'll see through this. Lol. What about just confidence?

[SevenCity]

I think she'll see through this. Lol. What about just confidence?

 

"I'm sure you would never go out with me, let alone play a game with a net separating us, but..."

 

[smackie9]

Hey if you just become tennis buddies that's OK.....she must have some cute single friends right? This is how you find women to date...through other women. Start thinking outside the box.

[Versacehottie]

If she has no ring, just ask her if she would like to play tennis with you. Stop throwing up theoretical obstacles! If she has a boyfriend, he will come up in conversation.

 

Best time to approach would be as you're both leaving the court after your respective lessons, assuming they end at the same time.

 

If you don't want an audience of tennis pros watching you ask her on the courts, go grab a sip at the water fountain and finish up as she walks off the court. You can chat as you both walk away from the tennis courts.

 

When I was a beginner, I was always excited when a good player, invariably a guy, asked to play with me. As a beginner, it is didn't seem "weird" at all. Quite the opposite. I thought it was so nice that they were encouraging me by offering to play with me. Now I understand why guys who were such strong players (5.0+) were so generous with their time. That being said, I ended up dating two guys I met that way very briefly.

 

This is perfect (as well as some other great replies). I play a lot too. And it is best if you park kinda toward where she parks/or heads out to leave if she walks or whatever. Talk about tennis and ask if she wants to play sometime. The great thing about asking or accepting an ask regarding tennis is that it can mean everything or nothing (i.e. people just looking for others to play with). People exchange numbers and take it from there. Build a flirty friendship and if she has a bf she will let you know or decline your offer to play together. If she is a beginner she will either be flattered that you want to play with her or it will likely go over her head that someone more advanced wouldn't really put a lot of effort into playing/meeting up with a beginner. So you have those minutes of leaving the courts to talk to her and it's a pretty natural conversation. So many people do this that it wouldn't be seen as a dating attempt per se & at the same time can and does absolutely turn into that if the chemistry is there. Good luck

[Versacehottie]

OMG I think this is the first post of yours I disagree with!

 

OP - She could be ending a RL soon or seeing some guy who she's not crazy about. As much as people here think there is always a clean line, real life doesn't follow that script. Don't back her into a corner. Most hot chicks aren't single for long and go from one RL to the next with seemingly no break.

 

Also, playing tennis can be very buddy buddy. She can misunderstand your intentions.

 

Instead, ask her out for a drink. You'll know very quickly if she's interested.

 

Really? I don't disagree with smackie. I do agree that hot chicks aren't single for long (unless they want to be) however, if the guy has some game (pun intended) doesn't really matter where the girl meets or connects with him. Actually to the contrary, i think something that has a basis in other things such as tennis is a kind of softer approach where it can feel like things developed naturally which a lot of girls really buy into.

 

There is a phenomena where guys want what they "work" for rather than what is handed to them easily--they value it more. So that's why guys tend to like girls they have to "win over" in a way (impress, etc). To be honest, there is info out there that the same phenomena applies to a lot of women--they have tendency to like a guy more and be more bonded when they feel like it is their "effort" and personality that won this guy over. I personally think that is the feeling a lot of pretty or hot chicks have. sure they can get attention for their looks all the time but a guy that their investment into "wins him over" is usually the one they like. Needless to say, for the OP it's not that big a deal--he only knows her through tennis therefore he really has not much of a choice but to build on that connection in some way. As long as he is flirty and she feels similarly he should be fine. Sometimes if they have had little to no conversation and he just blurted out let's go out, a girl might say no (i have done this). Mainly because you have never considered this person like this; there is no bond. Guys get too worried about the friend zone--as long as you don't act like a "friend" from the get go or are not passive or put her on a pedestal that makes no difference. Trust me, if you ask her to play tennis, she will wonder if you like her or just want to play tennis. And what you do during when you spend time with her will create what happens next.

[smackie9]

I feel you need to make a quick connection first, chat a few times or even chat for a few mins, know their name, ask for their number. Boom done. I don't think hanging around them for weeks is the way to go. Making your intentions clear as quickly as possible is the best way to not waste anyone's time.

[angel.eyes]

Glad you didn't think it was weird that guys were offering to play with you. As much as I love tennis I know I need to try and go on dates and meet women vs. playing tennis or doing things with guys every night.

 

Good call about talking to her at the end of the lesson instead of before hand. We both finish around the same time so on the way out it is. I'm pretty nervous about asking her, but I figure I'm no worse off is she says no.

 

Not at all. There's nothing weird about it.

 

By the way, it's not an either-or proposition. Date or play tennis with your friends. You can meet women as you play tennis as long as you aren't limiting yourself to just playing with your guy friends. Join mixed doubles teams. The USTA season for mixed doubles is just starting up. Attend tennis parties. Granted, there are a lot of married people and couples at tennis parties, but there are also lots of singles. Use tennis to build your social circle...plus it's such a fun game to play. Win-win.

[max3732]

Really? I don't disagree with smackie. I do agree that hot chicks aren't single for long (unless they want to be) however, if the guy has some game (pun intended) doesn't really matter where the girl meets or connects with him. Actually to the contrary, i think something that has a basis in other things such as tennis is a kind of softer approach where it can feel like things developed naturally which a lot of girls really buy into.

 

There is a phenomena where guys want what they "work" for rather than what is handed to them easily--they value it more. So that's why guys tend to like girls they have to "win over" in a way (impress, etc). To be honest, there is info out there that the same phenomena applies to a lot of women--they have tendency to like a guy more and be more bonded when they feel like it is their "effort" and personality that won this guy over. I personally think that is the feeling a lot of pretty or hot chicks have. sure they can get attention for their looks all the time but a guy that their investment into "wins him over" is usually the one they like. Needless to say, for the OP it's not that big a deal--he only knows her through tennis therefore he really has not much of a choice but to build on that connection in some way. As long as he is flirty and she feels similarly he should be fine. Sometimes if they have had little to no conversation and he just blurted out let's go out, a girl might say no (i have done this). Mainly because you have never considered this person like this; there is no bond. Guys get too worried about the friend zone--as long as you don't act like a "friend" from the get go or are not passive or put her on a pedestal that makes no difference. Trust me, if you ask her to play tennis, she will wonder if you like her or just want to play tennis. And what you do during when you spend time with her will create what happens next.

 

I have a lot of game when it comes to tennis, dating...not so much. I really don't know how to flirt. Last time I saw her we were both on the court before the pros so I just struck up a casual conversation. I know almost nothing about her other than her looks, how she plays tennis, and what kind of car she drives (I'm really into cars, but I realize most women aren't).

 

Wish I could act in a flirty way, but I just don't know what to do.