Double date followed by loss of interest?

[rkm86]

Monday night, I (28M) went on a double date with my friend, his fiancé, and a girl (25F) that works with his fiancé. It was his fiancé’s idea (who I am also friends with). She told me that this girl thought I was cute based on one of my Facebook pictures. We went out for drinks and appetizers and had a good time. I liked the girl that they set me up on a double date with. She is more extroverted than me, whereas I am somewhat the opposite. At the end of the night, I walked her to her car and she initiated giving me her phone number and said I could add her on Facebook. I told her to text me when she made it home, which she did. The next day we had a casual text conversation which ended mid-afternoon. I did not hear from her anymore that day. Wednesday morning, I reinitiated by asking her when she is free again to hang out – just the two of us. She responded a few hours later and said this weekend. We started making plans to go to Dave & Busters, and once again, mid-afternoon, she stopped responding and I did not hear back from her the rest of the day. I did not double text today and I have not heard from her all day. Over lunch I was on Facebook and saw that she was active (liking posts, etc.). I have been through this kind of situation plenty of times to get the hint that she probably has low interest in seeing me again. Did she just give me her number to be nice? I don’t know. The plans are not finalized because we have not agreed on a time for Saturday. The ball is in her court for her to tell me what part of the day works for her. My plan is to just sit back and see if she reaches out to me again between now and Saturday, but I feel like it’s a chore to have a text conversation with her.

[MajesticUnicorn]

Personally, if I am uninterested in a guy, I would not be the one to initiate giving him my phone number or asking him to add me on social media. It would be one thing if he asked me for my number and I felt pressured to give it to him and didn't want to be rude...but she asked you for it.

 

There could be a lot of reasons why she isn't responding. Personally, I suck at texting. I don't enjoy texting. I would rather talk on the phone or hang out in person. So often times I read texts and try to be polite and respond, but half the time I forget about it and do something else (like social media).

 

I would give her some time. It's hard to say whether she's busy, a horrible texter like me, or has something else going on. Maybe you could text her on Friday if she hasn't responded, wish her a happy Friday and ask if she's still on to hang out. If she's interested, she should respond I would think..

[Cookiesandough]

That she was your friend's fiancé's coworker may have made her act differently than if she were in a different situation. Looks like she is not interested to me. No girl interested in a guy is going to leave him hanging mid-plans.

 

Just an aside, a dave and busters date never seemed appealing to me and is pretty much a deal breaker, but I realize everyone's different

Edited September 28, 2017 by Cookiesandough

[Gaeta]

Drop her. At 28 people are adults that should be able to start and end an conversation in respect. This dropping you in middle of conversation is BS served on a platter. Move on to an adult woman.

[rkm86]

That she was your friend's fiancé's coworker may have made her act differently than if she were in a different situation. Looks like she is not interested to me. No girl interested in a guy is going to leave him hanging mid-plans.

 

Just an aside, a dave and busters date never seemed appealing to me and is pretty much a deal breaker, but I realize everyone's different

 

Funny thing is it was her idea for Dave & Busters. I had originally asked her if she wanted to go to this bar and bowling place (that also had other activities), but she said she was there before and it wasn't as nice as it looked.

 

She's apparently trying to balance our date with making other plans because I had proposed a time, but she asked if we could go later (or earlier in the day if her other plans ended up working out for Saturday night...)

[Cookiesandough]

That should have been a deal breaker for you xD even before her flakiness

[SevenCity]

Funny thing is it was her idea for Dave & Busters. I had originally asked her if she wanted to go to this bar and bowling place (that also had other activities), but she said she was there before and it wasn't as nice as it looked.

 

She's apparently trying to balance our date with making other plans because I had proposed a time, but she asked if we could go later (or earlier in the day if her other plans ended up working out for Saturday night...)

 

Don't wait on her to make plans for yourself. If she was interested you would have plans with her already.

 

I've fooled around with girls on a first date and never went out with them again. They could have second thoughts, another guy, or something else. You don't know the back story - all you know is she left you hanging and therefore has low interest.

 

Find a girl with high interest.

[LovelyRose]

Monday night, I (28M) went on a double date with my friend, his fiancé, and a girl (25F) that works with his fiancé. It was his fiancé’s idea (who I am also friends with). She told me that this girl thought I was cute based on one of my Facebook pictures. We went out for drinks and appetizers and had a good time. I liked the girl that they set me up on a double date with. She is more extroverted than me, whereas I am somewhat the opposite. At the end of the night, I walked her to her car and she initiated giving me her phone number and said I could add her on Facebook. I told her to text me when she made it home, which she did. The next day we had a casual text conversation which ended mid-afternoon. I did not hear from her anymore that day. Wednesday morning, I reinitiated by asking her when she is free again to hang out – just the two of us. She responded a few hours later and said this weekend. We started making plans to go to Dave & Busters, and once again, mid-afternoon, she stopped responding and I did not hear back from her the rest of the day. I did not double text today and I have not heard from her all day. Over lunch I was on Facebook and saw that she was active (liking posts, etc.). I have been through this kind of situation plenty of times to get the hint that she probably has low interest in seeing me again. Did she just give me her number to be nice? I don’t know. The plans are not finalized because we have not agreed on a time for Saturday. The ball is in her court for her to tell me what part of the day works for her. My plan is to just sit back and see if she reaches out to me again between now and Saturday, but I feel like it’s a chore to have a text conversation with her.

 

 

Is it really this hard to communicate anymore in the dating world?

 

She was the one who gave you her number and asked to add her on your FB. If she isn't interested she wouldn't do this. Could it be that you bore her to death with your text convo?

 

What was your last text? Is it something that she needed to respond to or just a simple statement text? You keep saying she stops responding mid day but youre not sharing what convo you are having. I'm also curious how you weren't able to pin down an exact time to meet on Saturday. Was it her who couldn't give a specific time, if so what was her reason?

 

If I'm interested in a guy and I want the conversation to keep flowing I always make sure that my last response requires another response so we go back and forth. If the guy doesn't reply I don't care to "double text." Depending on how much I like the guy of course.

 

How much do you like this girl? I didn't know double texting is such a crime nowadays. Also is picking up the phone and calling someone a thing of the past?

 

She could have gotten bored with you, weighing out how much you like her, trying not to seem too eager beaver, or just not big on texting. So don't jump to conclusion and pick up the phone! Geez....

[rkm86]

Is it really this hard to communicate anymore in the dating world?

 

She was the one who gave you her number and asked to add her on your FB. If she isn't interested she wouldn't do this. Could it be that you bore her to death with your text convo?

 

What was your last text? Is it something that she needed to respond to or just a simple statement text? You keep saying she stops responding mid day but youre not sharing what convo you are having. I'm also curious how you weren't able to pin down an exact time to meet on Saturday. Was it her who couldn't give a specific time, if so what was her reason?

 

If I'm interested in a guy and I want the conversation to keep flowing I always make sure that my last response requires another response so we go back and forth. If the guy doesn't reply I don't care to "double text." Depending on how much I like the guy of course.

 

How much do you like this girl? I didn't know double texting is such a crime nowadays. Also is picking up the phone and calling someone a thing of the past?

 

She could have gotten bored with you, weighing out how much you like her, trying not to seem too eager beaver, or just not big on texting. So don't jump to conclusion and pick up the phone! Geez....

 

My last text from yesterday afternoon involved me saying I could meet anytime on Saturday after she asked me if we could do later or earlier depending on what happens with her other plans. She’s the one who has to let me know what works for her. She hasn’t given me a specific time yet and she doesn’t seem eager to. She hardly has asked any questions about me in our texting conversation. The problem with double texting is that it makes us guys look needy and desperate, like we can’t wait for the girl to respond.

[LovelyRose]

My last text from yesterday afternoon involved me saying I could meet anytime on Saturday after she asked me if we could do later or earlier depending on what happens with her other plans. She’s the one who has to let me know what works for her. She hasn’t given me a specific time yet and she doesn’t seem eager to. She hardly has asked any questions about me in our texting conversation. The problem with double texting is that it makes us guys look needy and desperate, like we can’t wait for the girl to respond.

 

 

 

Ah I see. Ok then yeah I can see why you could think she lost interest.

 

I don't care to double text or if the guy double texts. I May be one of the rare ones. Actually if a guy double texts me it makes me feel that he likes me well enough to get my attention. I also send another text because just to make sure he really got my message. It happened to me several times that I didn't get a response because their message didn't go through. Idk if its bs but not gonna waste my time figuring it out.

 

It's all about the context. How you text the second message. If it sounds whiney then yeah, turn off! But if it's very casual and simple, then I wouldn't think it's pushy or needy.