Should I move on?

[dma4138]

This guy added me on instagram a year ago, I had never met him prior but he was cute and it appeared that he lived in the same city as me. Over the past year he would like my posts and I would like his but he never would DM me. I was curious about this person and was tired of wondering 'what if' so this past July I finally commented on one of his photos to spark some interest. A few days later I posted a direct story and he DM'd me about it and I introduced myself and said hi. He immediately messaged me back and we were messaging each other for 6 hours straight. We found out we had a lot in common, similar culture / upbringing. At the end he asked for my number and asked if he could meet me.

 

He was going out of town (which he did) that weekend so he asked if I was available the following weekend. Which was fine. When I asked him to nail down a day/ time he said his schedule is always changing and that he would get back to me during the week when he knew more. The weekend came and went with no text or call from him.

 

"Ok whatever" I thought. "Maybe something came up or he wasn't that interested. At least I messaged him and found out." Cool. On to the next.

 

But then 2 weeks later he calls me out of the blue apologizing for flaking and that he was busy with work. I let it go and didn't make a big deal about it. He asked if we could reschedule for that coming Sunday. I said ok that's fine. Again when I tried to nail down details he said he would get back to me with details when it got closer to Sunday. Ofcourse, Sunday came and went with no text or call from him. I was annoyed at this point.

 

I was like ok he did it twice now. He either is 1) Really that busy 2)Has a girlfriend or 3) Just not that interested. I took it as a definite sign that I should move on. And I did.

 

Fast forward to 3 weeks later, I get a missed call from him out of the blue with no voicemail. I wasn't sure what to do with that. I thought about calling him back but honestly I had nothing to say to him. He had fallen so off the radar, he became a stranger again. Plus he flaked, twice with no courtesy call/text. So I didn't call him back.

 

Now it's two weeks later and I think I still have a crush on him deep down. We have so much in common it would feel a waste not to try. I don't always find guys I'm interested in. And he is still liking my pics / viewing my stories. And strangely he became friends with my brother on instagram too.

 

I've been re-considering whether I should call him back. I was hoping by initiating no contact, he would take it as a sign that he messed up and that he was gonna have to try harder to be with me. But now maybe he thinks I'm not interested so he's giving up. I haven't been liking his pics on instagram either which was our initial form of 'flirting' I guess.

 

I know that if a guy wants to get to know you, he will make it happen. That the girl should show interest but shouldn't do the chasing in the beginning. But I also know that this generation of guys are different too and not as aggressive.

I'm just not sure what to do now. I am tempted to start liking his pics again to maybe show that I am still around but wondering if I should or not. I really don't have any other move here. I am just kind of waiting on him to initiate.

 

I know this was long, but any advice would be appreciated. Please don't be too harsh, I am a sensitive one.

[Versacehottie]

honestly, i think you are already too invested and probably have that tendency. I would mentally move on and leave the ball firmly in his court. I know he called last but it wasn't a message or anything concrete. So in my view, don't do anything until you get that and then some! boy has only shown you sh*T effort so wait until you get some real effort. I think if you feel like you like him and are not pursuing other guys you are making a mistake. Show that you are happy on IG and see what he does next. If you can control yourself (i.e. not be too invested) after some time and the right post (i.e. one that truly interests you) pops up you can like or comment on it. Like no big deal but also not like you are sitting there waiting for him. It's risky though if you have a heart and you sound like you do--he's already blown it twice and now you guys have that pattern which is why you DON'T pursue him. Let him come to you. Let it go if he doesn't.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, if this guy shared the same interest in you, he would have met you by now. He is not that into it if he has this much trouble making a plan.

 

It has nothing to do with guys in this generation not chasing or some such thing. It has everything to do with not even showing you basic courtesy and not being very interested.

 

Why waste your time with a guy who has already wasted yours, before even meeting? Not worth it.

Edited September 28, 2017 by ExpatInItaly