How to pick up women at bars?

[SmartDude]

So I have kind of a strange situation.

 

When I was young I never really went out to bars. It was partly because of my social anxiety at that time in my life, but also because my social group liked to have small gatherings at home instead. I have never been a drinker, but I do socially drink. There is never alcohol in my house. I prefer cannabis.

 

Recently I went to a bar with a friend of mine. Because I am a nice looking man ,and a bit older(early 40's), the drunk younger women there were looking at me like i'm candy. I almost got laid that night(too wasted) and it was really easy. I decided that I had fun at the bar and want to do it again. I am a bit mad that I rejected going there when I was younger but my neighborhood pub is pretty accepting of all age of people walking in. Not worried about looking weird.

 

What is good bar etiquette going out solo? I observed quite a few not in any group or with anyone else. It is kind of funny that I am discovering this potential now.

[bummer]

Bring a wingman or make friends with someone like you at the bar. That way you have someone to banter with who isn't busy making drinks. Also, they can help you assess the field of play.

 

It sounds like you don't really need any help, so just grab a beer and wait for the bar flies to come to you. If it's slow, offer a girl a drink and talk about the latest sports ball game. If it's lively, move around the bar or play some games.

Enjoy yourself and you'll attract girls who want to have fun. I think you'll figure it out real quick.

[d0nnivain]

First limit your consumption. You have to make good decisions. Just because you are a man, if you are drunk you are vulnerable. Some bad woman may pick your pocket instead of sleeping with you. Also when alone you still have to get home safely; no drinking & driving.

 

Just be friendly. It would help to establish yourself as a bit of a regular so the staff knows who you are.

[SmartDude]

I am lucky. It is close enough that I can walk from my place. Had too many beers last time I went. This time I might try something different. Like just have one beer and not stay for that long.

 

What are the diferences with going earlier in the evening(6-8pm), as opposed to late night weekends?

[d0nnivain]

Earlier in the evening you can have a real conversation with somebody & build up a rapport.

 

 

Late nights are more likely to yield you drunken hook ups. Not always but in general. Showing up at 1:00 a.m. & having 1 beer won't get you that. . .you need to invest a little time & probably buy her a drink or three.

[smackie9]

Just me but I always felt weirded out by anyone who went to bars solo. Almost get that desperate vibe. Good luck anyways.

[RecentChange]

Yeah time of day etc makes a difference.

 

Late night? That's the hook up scene, you can be flirty, bold.... If you are there by yourself it will be pretty clear you are trolling.

 

Now... Early evening, or happy hour? Different scene. Sometimes I like to unwind with a cocktail after a hectic day - there are some bars around that cater to the business crowd. I don't feel so akward drinking alone there - and it seems easier to strike up a conversation with a stranger, about business, or your day.

Edited September 11, 2017 by RecentChange

[SmartDude]

Earlier in the evening you can have a real conversation with somebody & build up a rapport.

 

 

Late nights are more likely to yield you drunken hook ups. Not always but in general. Showing up at 1:00 a.m. & having 1 beer won't get you that. . .you need to invest a little time & probably buy her a drink or three.

 

Hmm yea. I think the early evening is what I am most interested in at this point in my life. sprinkled with some late night debauchery here and there..

[CryForNoOne]

First limit your consumption. You have to make good decisions. Just because you are a man, if you are drunk you are vulnerable. Some bad woman may pick your pocket instead of sleeping with you. Also when alone you still have to get home safely; no drinking & driving.

 

Just be friendly. It would help to establish yourself as a bit of a regular so the staff knows who you are.

 

Someone here always warns about the danger of intoxication and bars. For women I get it, but for men??? I've been to a bar over 1000 times in my life and never had anything happen, not once. I've heard or know personally dozens of people who have been beat up, mugged, raped etc... but 100% of it happens once you leave the bar. As long as you take an Uber door to door and don't get so drunk you blackout, it's actually totally safe...

[CryForNoOne]

Just me but I always felt weirded out by anyone who went to bars solo. Almost get that desperate vibe. Good luck anyways.

 

They are alone because they are weird and desperate. They are not weird and desperate because they are alone. I've had much more success hooking up when I go to a bar alone. If you go with a wingman or group, your much more likely to attract time wasters who have boyfriends or aren't really interested but are happy to take advantage of free drinks...

[d0nnivain]

Someone here always warns about the danger of intoxication and bars. For women I get it, but for men??? I've been to a bar over 1000 times in my life and never had anything happen, not once. I've heard or know personally dozens of people who have been beat up, mugged, raped etc... but 100% of it happens once you leave the bar. As long as you take an Uber door to door and don't get so drunk you blackout, it's actually totally safe...

 

 

OP said he's new to the bar scene. Newbies get hurt. Law & Order gets their plot lines from the headlines. I'm not sexist. Men can get roofied too. Better safe then sorry. Not saying it's a common occurrence but if you are stupid drunk you are probably not the best judge of character.

[smackie9]

true story...some people will imitate being an uber driver, take the intoxicated person to an area where they are robbed or raped.

[smackie9]

They are alone because they are weird and desperate. They are not weird and desperate because they are alone. I've had much more success hooking up when I go to a bar alone. If you go with a wingman or group, your much more likely to attract time wasters who have boyfriends or aren't really interested but are happy to take advantage of free drinks...

I'm not talking about "hooking up" I'm talking about actually meeting someone for a relationship. I was more interested in meeting guys in a group so my GFs had some one to talk to...I always like the social aspect of it. meeting their buddies, having fun as a group. But that's just me.

[d0nnivain]

smackie9

 

 

Not everyone who goes to a bar alone is a friendless social outcast.

 

 

After grad school I went on a horrific interview. It was one of the few times in my life I ever WANTED a drink, that scary want that made me wonder if I had a problem but in that moment I wanted the drink more. I was a 24 year old attractive woman, alone in a strange city, who had never gone into a bar that I hadn't previously worked in alone. I remember walking up & down the city street trying to figure out which bar to enter. I finally picked the one where professionally dressed people older then me were going to thinking I'd be less likely to be hit on. The bartender & an older couple kind of kept an eye on me & helped me shoo away unwanted attention.

 

 

As an adult I have been in bars alone a few times usually while I'm killing time waiting for somebody; although once on a cruise ship I wandered in to watch a college football bowl game because nobody else I was traveling with cared about the game. . I don't mind having a brief conversation with somebody but I always mention my husband or BF & make it clear that I'm killing time, not looking for anything. During the game I was looking for fellow fans. That night some guy wouldn't take go away for an answer. Even the bartender told him I was only there for the game & offered to have security walk me back to my cabin because the creepy guy wouldn't leave me alone.

 

 

I think a woman alone in a bar still more often then not has men thinking she's looking to get lucky, while it remains more socially acceptable for a man to go to a bar alone. I'll judge a man by his social skills not the (lack of) company he's keeping.

[guest569]

Offer them $100 to bang