Matchmaking service besides OLD?

[Mjm1014]

I've done every OLD site imaginable...I've been on match, OKC,POF, and have had zero luck on there (believe it's because my height is listed as 5'7"-not a single message in months despite me messaging a ton of people).

 

I've used Tinder and Bumble, used the exact same pictures and I've actually gone on a ton of dates, and get a lot of messages from very attractive women..except for the very desperate (usually have multiple kids, 2 failed marriages, no teeth lol), things usually fizzle out after a date or two (most likely because they met the next best thing or they tell me I'm too short for them), and overall I'm burned out trying to get to know so many people just for things to fall apart. Overall I feel like these type of sites are a waste of time since there is almost always someone better and everyone has unlimited options. I also realize I'm at an age women are extra picky because they are looking to settle with mr.perfect and that's just not me lol.

 

I was reading about a matchmaking service called Its Just Lunch, and another one that I can't remember off the top of my head...has anyone had luck with a service like that? If not is there anything else you would suggest? I'd love to meet people in person besides OLD, but I have literally zero friends in my city since I've done so much moving, and work is not an option since I work with all men much older than myself. I don't want to be a creepy 30 year old solo at a bar either...Trying to think of some other ideas..I'm 30 and feel like I need to figure out something since I've had some horrible luck for the past couple years..plus, in the past if I ever did meet someone online and things took off they just seemed to be the type that craved attention and could never be "serious" with me.

 

Any ideas for a 30 year old guy?! Thanks in advance.

Edited September 5, 2017 by Mjm1014

[d0nnivain]

See if this list from Consumer Reports helps:

 

 

https://www.consumeraffairs.com/dating_services/matchmaker/#

 

 

Also try singles events centered around something you already enjoy. I went to one called Leashes & Lovers because I could bring my dog. I had planned on going to one where they pair people up to play golf. Even without the love connection I figured it would help my game.

[normal person]

 

I've used Tinder and Bumble, used the exact same pictures and I've actually gone on a ton of dates, and get a lot of messages from very attractive women..except for the very desperate (usually have multiple kids, 2 failed marriages, no teeth lol), things usually fizzle out after a date or two (most likely because they met the next best thing or they tell me I'm too short for them), and overall I'm burned out trying to get to know so many people just for things to fall apart.

 

If you really believe that women don't want to keep seeing you because they met the next best thing or that you're too short, what makes you think they aren't going to meet the next best thing or someone taller just because you used It's Just Lunch as opposed to Bumble? I don't understand. Don't you think this will just continue to burn you out? How they meet you is irrelevant. If they meet someone they like more, they aren't going to refuse to go out with him because they met you on a classier website/ap.

 

Overall I feel like these type of sites are a waste of time since there is almost always someone better and everyone has unlimited options.

 

So what makes It's Just Lunch any better? If you really think they have unlimited options on one service, why wouldn't they use that all the time? Do you think they want to voluntarily limit themselves and not get the best available partner? I don't really understand your logic here.

 

I also realize I'm at an age women are extra picky because they are looking to settle with mr.perfect and that's just not me lol.

 

You're 30, you are Mr. Perfect. You're entering your prime as a man and about as desirable as you're ever going to be. Women in their late 20s are starting to feel the pressure of their biological clocks and for the first time in their lives they're seeing themselves get passed over for younger women. Many can't afford to wait for Mr. Perfect. You have a distinct advantage here.

 

I was reading about a matchmaking service called Its Just Lunch, and another one that I can't remember off the top of my head...has anyone had luck with a service like that?

 

The fact that you had to read about it and haven't simply just heard about it already suggests that it's not as effective as the aps. If it worked as well as you hope, it'd be the default method of meeting people. It'd be the first thing people suggest But it's not. It's fringe.

 

Your problem isn't meeting people, it's meeting the right people, or people who like you. I wouldn't be too quick to put my faith in someone else's ability to assume they know who I like or who likes me. If you've got nothing to lose, I see no reason not to try it, but certainly don't assume this is the basket to put all your eggs in. I don't see why you don't think this will burn you out as fast as any other ap. I imagine it's worse.

 

If not is there anything else you would suggest?

 

If I were you, I'd stay on the aps. Yeah, they can be tiresome, but they're like that for most people. At the end of the day, they're still the best method for passive interactions. There are new people moving to your city and breaking up with their boyfriends all the time. We all have to play the hand we're dealt, but it's going to be difficult for you to play and win unless you're in the right place at the right time. OLD still provides you with the best odds of that, in my opinion. There's no sense in not making yourself available on every avenue and trying every service, there's no rule saying you can't do all of them, even It's Just Lunch. You want to be as visible as possible everywhere. Best of luck.

[Purrrfect]

You are trying too hard. 5 foot 7 is not that short and a petite short woman probably won't care. Stop making it about your height. Women are attracted to confidence. Give online dating a break.

 

It's just lunch is absurdly expensive. If none of the OLD sites have worked what makes you think this will?

 

Give it a break. Don't focus on height and live your life. You will eventually meet someone.

[smackie9]

If you do choose a dating service, pick one that has a dating/life coach that can help you get that extra edge.

[The Urbanyst]

I'm 33. Being in your 30's doesn't mean anything dude.

 

In fact.. you should have even more options. I don't know why you're wasting time trying to date women your own age. You should be targeting women in the 22-28 range. I don't even pursue women over age 28 unless they throw themselves at me.

 

And stop worrying about being a "creep". Who cares? Are you living your life for yourself or to impress a bunch of random strangers? Lol.

 

I give zero craps who thinks I'm a "creep". Maybe when they are paying my bills I'll give a flying turd what they think about who I date lol.

[Echo74]

Join a couple of Meetup groups! Meetup.com has lots of groups with varying interest. I've met a lot of people in the groups I've joined and on top of that the meetups are fun. You just never who you might become interested in and vice-versa in one of the groups.

Edited September 5, 2017 by Echo74

[mortensorchid]

I don't know what to tell you. Before there was OLD there were people who used matchmaking services and put ads in the newspaper, it just wasn't accepted as much as it is now. Ask any of them out there who have what happened to them? Probably just as many disaster stories as OLD which are shared on this forum.

 

If there was an answer, like I say to anyone with said questions, I would tell you what the answer is. But I don't have it like a lot of others don't have it.

 

Some say that those who introduce mutual friends to each other have the best of luck that way, but ... I can honestly say that it only happened to me three times. The first time that happened he turned out to be the love of my life (but that's another story). The second time was awkward as hell, the less said about that the better. The third time I was at a MeetUp group and a woman who was in the group takes me by the arm and said to come meet this guy Frank (or whatever his name was). She puts us together and says we have things in common. She said he likes theater and I mentioned to her that I am on the board of a theater company in my city. I honestly do not remember what else he and I talked about during that ten or fifteen minutes that we talked because that was that. If we had anything in common I don't recall it.

[Chilli]

No ideas on on the rest but if your bothered about your height why don't you go for really short girls, then you'll still be a great match.

 

l was talking to a chick in a shop yesterday 4'10', l know because l asked her.

She was really , really cute too.

Maybe go for shorter women , some of them probably prefer a shorter guy.