confusedgirlfriend11 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Hi all, I've recently started dating a guy. He's really nice, funny and absolutely gorgeous. I just met him again and he was saying how gorgeous he finds me and how my body is amazing. He however, follows these compliments up with 'I hate skinny girls at least yours has curves in the right places'. Am I being really stupid for purely focussing on the 'not being skinny' part? I'm a UK size 8-10. I have big boobs, bum and legs. I have my body hangs ups with wanting to lose a bit of weight on my tummy but I just wondered if I am being completely crazy with being offended? I think I need to just understand how other women would react to this. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I think I need to just understand how other women would react to this. How do YOU feel about it? it doesn't matter how we feel. I am the same size as you and got my weight in my boobs and hips. My bf doesn't like skinny women and like your boyfriend he tells me I got all my curves in the right place. It makes me smile at the knowledge I turn him on and he's proud to have me as his gf. I am NOT skinny and i don't need my bf to pretend I am just to please me. What ever my neighbor or other women think of it is irrelevant. I love my body, I am confident it in, I like being curvy to me it's sexy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 he was saying how gorgeous he finds me and how my body is amazing So you think he was lying? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WaitingForBardot Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I'm usually reluctant to speak for all men, but let me translate what he said for you: "blah, blah, blah, blah... ...your gorgeous..., blah, blah... ...your body is amazing... ...blah and more blah... " I think you're reading too much into it. And if it's any consolation, I think you're too thin! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 It means he thinks you have a beautiful body! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 He's just paying you a compliment. Take it! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I just met him again and he was saying how gorgeous he finds me and how my body is amazing. He however, follows these compliments up with 'I hate skinny girls at least yours has curves in the right places'. Am I being really stupid for purely focussing on the 'not being skinny' part? Eh, I wouldn't say stupid, but I would say misguided. Unless it's affecting your health, stop worrying about losing weight. The truth is that men like women fatter than women realize. The whole thing about being skinny is basically an imposition by the fashion industry (which is mostly gay) and by other women (as a form of virtue signaling). Imagine if your boyfriend was constantly mentioning how much better you'd look if you lost a couple of stone or three. Imagine if his idea of a birthday present was a bathroom scale (oh, it has happened!). You've found a guy who likes your body, so enjoy it. Use your power over him wisely and stop worrying. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 It was a clear compliment, so take it as such. He likes the way you look. Skinny, for me, implies something a little less healthy in appearance. I prefer athletic and fit and CURVY. Curves in the right places for me indicates a woman with somewhat of an hour-glass figure. You have one. Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I worked with a group of women a few years back, and the way women navigate each other's feelings is just much more careful. Sometimes what men say can come across as a neg, without meaning to. Can often happen when we are infatuated, actually. Like this: Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 If a woman said it to you, it'd be a backhanded insult & she'd be calling you fat. From a man it's a polite / socially acceptable way of him saying "va, va voom, I love your huge breasts" & there is more "pushin' in the cushion." He's sexualizing you. It is certainly not an insult. I was anorexic when I was younger & a guy I dated used to say that he was afraid he'd chip a tooth because I was so bony. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Hi all, I've recently started dating a guy. He's really nice, funny and absolutely gorgeous. I just met him again and he was saying how gorgeous he finds me and how my body is amazing. He however, follows these compliments up with 'I hate skinny girls at least yours has curves in the right places'. Am I being really stupid for purely focussing on the 'not being skinny' part? I'm a UK size 8-10. I have big boobs, bum and legs. I have my body hangs ups with wanting to lose a bit of weight on my tummy but I just wondered if I am being completely crazy with being offended? I think I need to just understand how other women would react to this. I would be happy that a guy I like really, really likes my body and I would relax in that. Would you be happier if he told you he liked skinny girls and you've got too much curve? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Not all men like rail thin women. You have what god gave you, now just own it. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 This reminds me of something psychologist Esther Perell said about relationships: we gravitate towards people who bring us the pain we recognize as love. A man who is celebrating your body may not be what you equate with love and acceptance because you don't accept your body. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Take it as a compliment....Just don't do what a lot of women do...Get comfortable and become less curvy and more round.... TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Take it as a compliment....Just don't do what a lot of women do...Get comfortable and become less curvy and more round.... TFY This made me laugh Link to post Share on other sites
CptInsano Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I just met him again and he was saying how gorgeous he finds me and how my body is amazing. He however, follows these compliments up with 'I hate skinny girls at least yours has curves in the right places'. That's a bit of an odd way to put it. It would have left it at a simple compliment that you looked great. But maybe he was just *really* happy to see you. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 (edited) Yes I kind of get where OP is coming from, I try to refrain from qualifiers in my compliments for the exact reason. Edited August 17, 2017 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
Author confusedgirlfriend11 Posted August 17, 2017 Author Share Posted August 17, 2017 Honestly thank you so much for the replies. I know I was being silly focussing on the wrong thing. I am happy with the compliment. Some of you are right, I am a bit body conscience and that's probably why I saw it as a negative. I will definitely start accepting the compliments more. Luckily I didn't say anything about the skinny comment to him (so he doesn't think I'm crazy lol). We're in that awkward stage of 'seeing' each other so we're not even in a relationship so I guess I read into everything. Thanks so much again!! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BluesPower Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 Do not be hung up... He does not mean it that way. A lot of men do not like "Skinny" woman and it is not a put down. I am a 6'1 240 and I like my girls not skinny, like not too thin/skin and bones. Frankly for me I like a little weight on a woman. I want to feel her when I am holding her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 If a woman said it to you, it'd be a backhanded insult & she'd be calling you fat. WTF? How do you come to that conclusion? That's a ridiculous generalisation. OP, it was a lovely compliment and you should take it as such! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 How would I feel if a guy called me curvy? Probably a bit weird, but that's only because I'm a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
umirano Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 I'm a curves man. What your date said came over my lips before. There's no hidden critique or malice, unless he's a sociopath, which I assume you have established he's not? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 WTF? How do you come to that conclusion? That's a ridiculous generalization. Because every woman I have ever heard use the phrase "curvy" has been using it in a snide way. Does it apply to every woman in the world? Of course not but it's not completely ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 (edited) It was a compliment. Unfortunate that he had to shame other women in the process of giving it though. It would have been so much nicer if he'd simply said how much he loves your curves. I probably would have thanked him for the compliment but called him on hating of skinny girls. As I tell my kids, "hate" is a very strong word. Edited August 17, 2017 by basil67 3 Link to post Share on other sites
loverboy69 Posted August 17, 2017 Share Posted August 17, 2017 As a guy I guess I'd feel the same way if someone told me that they liked me because they hate guys with muscles. It would probably make me feel like my arms or wrists are too small or something. Link to post Share on other sites
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