Is the guy I started dating being dishonest?

[Heartbrokenandhurt]

So I've been going through a tough time if anyone has been following my threads and I decided to join the dating site in which I met ex to try and up my confidence.

 

I matched with a local guy and we started chatting. He seemed nice enough, so we arranged a date.

 

The date seemed fine, and he seemed fine. Although I'm really not over my ex... But it at least made me feel that there must be other normal, nice guys about looking for a relationship.

 

Anyway, a few days before the date, I managed to find this new guy on facebook. He only had very few random friends and one photo from the site. Bit odd in a day and age where everyone seems to be active on facebook but I thought maybe hes just into it.

 

We are still chatting since the first date and I've agreed to go on a second, but have been totally put off when today, I noticed on facebook, he has changed his surname and took away the 'Add Friend' option.

 

Now I understand that people change their Facebook names to middle names and things to avoid being found, say if they have a job such as a Teacher or a Doctor... but he isn't either and the name change is to a random surname... its like it changed from 'Smith' to 'Jones', as an example.

 

Its making me feel uneasy... one of those surnames is his real one and the other one obviously isn't.... Am I right to be wary?? I don't want to get involved with someone dishonest.

[Tressugar]

Ppl change their names. If you don't feel comfortable, simple cancel the date.

[avvril3000]

Could be fishy , could be innocent. right now its too hard to tell. You're only one date in, so i agree with the above comment, if your gut already tells you to quit, i would now.

[Gr8fuln2020]

So I've been going through a tough time if anyone has been following my threads and I decided to join the dating site in which I met ex to try and up my confidence.

 

I matched with a local guy and we started chatting. He seemed nice enough, so we arranged a date.

 

The date seemed fine, and he seemed fine. Although I'm really not over my ex... But it at least made me feel that there must be other normal, nice guys about looking for a relationship.

 

Anyway, a few days before the date, I managed to find this new guy on facebook. He only had very few random friends and one photo from the site. Bit odd in a day and age where everyone seems to be active on facebook but I thought maybe hes just into it.

 

We are still chatting since the first date and I've agreed to go on a second, but have been totally put off when today, I noticed on facebook, he has changed his surname and took away the 'Add Friend' option.

 

Now I understand that people change their Facebook names to middle names and things to avoid being found, say if they have a job such as a Teacher or a Doctor... but he isn't either and the name change is to a random surname... its like it changed from 'Smith' to 'Jones', as an example.

 

Its making me feel uneasy... one of those surnames is his real one and the other one obviously isn't.... Am I right to be wary?? I don't want to get involved with someone dishonest.

 

 

1. Are you really ready to date and give someone new a chance to have a healthy relationship with you?

 

2. I don't care what people say about 'people' changing their FB names, it is absolutely suspicious. I do have a FB account and have no need to change anything or hide anything. I also do not frequent it. Why change my name? Doctor or no, you are going to have to divulge your identity sooner than later, right? He doesn't want you to find out who he really is? Hmmmm....

[smackie9]

He doesn't want to go through the crap of being obligated to add the women he is going on dates with...IMO he is a private person, and that would explain why he has only a few friends and changing his surname...he doesn't like being stalked. You are a stranger and well what is on his social media isn't your business.

 

My brother uses a completely different name ever since social media started.....he just wants to keep his life private. He's not a criminal, or hiding anything suspicious. A lot of people do it.

 

So I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill.

 

If things get serious it wouldn't take much effort to get a background check if you are that worried.

[Gr8fuln2020]

I don't have anything to hide and secure my rarely visited FB page, so I guess, it seems odd to change the name after you've already started using your real name. I am guessing that he will reveal his true identity soon enough.

[OatsAndHall]

1. Are you really ready to date and give someone new a chance to have a healthy relationship with you?

 

2. I don't care what people say about 'people' changing their FB names, it is absolutely suspicious. I do have a FB account and have no need to change anything or hide anything. I also do not frequent it. Why change my name? Doctor or no, you are going to have to divulge your identity sooner than later, right? He doesn't want you to find out who he really is? Hmmmm....

 

 

I only have my first and middle names up on Facebook at this point. But, it's because I have worked as a mental health counselor in a treatment center for some seriously disturbed kids. Several of them managed to hunt me down and it made me seriously uneasy. Plus, I'm a teacher and I have been on hiring committees where the administration has immediately done a FB search on potential job candidates and wash them out based on what they see. So, it's hard to track me down.

[Tressugar]

I will never use my real name until I know for sure you're not going to stalk me and even then you'll only get my middle name. My private life stays private. Too many stalkerish ppl online looking up ppl's information.

[Miss Peach]

I never give out more than my first name until we've met in person at the very least. Often with more time. I've been stalked a few times. I don't really post anything on FB so someone wouldn't be able to figure out much of anything from what I have on there.

[d0nnivain]

Social media behavior is not an accurate gauge of much. My first thought was what Smackie9 said -- upon realizing that women he meets on the dating website may try to look him up, he decided it would be better to be harder to find.

 

 

However, that is my analysis through a computer. You have met him. If your "spidey - senses" are tingling, listen to your gut.

 

 

Finally, if you are not over your EX seeking a rebound is not very healthy at this point. Consider whether where you are emotionally is coloring your perception.