againreally Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 Ive been on this merry-go-round before but this time, I just want an answer I can't figure out. And yes, I already know this is a trainwreck... So a year ago I had a new hot neighbor move in and I already know what kind of trouble hooking up with your neighbor is. Knowing that, I didn't pursue anything, but a close friendship developed. About six months in, I saw all the signs that it was going somewhere. Hugging me everytime she saw me, coming and hanging out at 2am in pajamas...ive done this before, no surprises yet....I finally do the adult thing and ask her if this is going somewhere, and I was shot down harder than i had ever been in my life. The word never was used. I blow it off, because I figure I just read too much into her behavior (even though Ive been through this exact situation before and really didnt misread anything). Within a few weeks we're back like it never happened and her level of comfort around me is growing even more. Months pass and I really never thought id have a chance again, and at this point it was not even on my mind. Then all of a sudden, a knock at the door. Long story short, we go back to her place, she tells me she knows she outright rejected me but now she wants to hook up. She voiced concern about not really knowing what she wants, but she liked me and wanted to spend time with me. We mad eout for a while and I left. We had left it as "we are going to finish this conversation soon." Another long story short....a week goes by and I havent heard from her. I made it clear that the ball was in her court and to reach out when she had time to talk. Then my roommate tells me he saw her with another guy at her place. Im no dummy, I know what that means. At this point I wait, knowing she has something to tell me, but i wait in vain. Almost a week later I bumped into her in the hallway and she tried to play it off like she was busy and then she says and that she has been seeing someone. a few words are exchanged and she says that things just "developed" with this guy she has known at school. I lost it and told her GO **** YOURSELF and she ran off crying. I just dont understand why she would drag me into her bull****, knowing i had a thing for her, only to reject me a second time and then expect me to still be friends. Anyone have any ideas? Im not tryng to fix anything, just understand... Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 She liked the attention you gave her until she found someone she was interested in. Then she wanted to keep you as an orbiter just in case things with the new guy don't work out. Ignoring people like that is probably the worst (best) thing you could do to them. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
GoldSparkz Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 If she rejected you the first time, why did you continue to pursue her? Yes, she likes the attention, but don't we all?! You should have accept that "never" meant "never" and moved on. Then you verbally attack her because you let your emotions get the best of you, which was a bad move on your part. This behaviour is unacceptable. Yes, she's guilty of playing games, but you need to take the lead and back off if you knew that things weren't going anywhere. IMO you need to be the adult in the situation and apologize the next time you see her. Then back off and leave her alone. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 As a fellow man, I think you fked up. Months and months of hanging out in pajamas...either she's waiting for you to make a move, or you're in the friend zone. Then the NEVER talk happened. Then you have one, just one night of making out. Is that supposed to make it official? I understand it got your hopes up, but everyone has kissed someone and had it not work out. That's life. Telling her to fk off was a bit harsh. If you actually care about your friendship then you should apologize. However, note the following: New rule (a really old rule): don't play the "just friends" role while secretly hoping a girl will warm up to you. If you're interested in a girl, then go for it early and decisively. Don't be "just friends" unless you're actually okay with being just friends. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 15, 2017 Share Posted March 15, 2017 IMO you both were dummies. She should never hangout with a guy THAT much, in pj's at 2am and not expect the guy to find an interest in her. AND You should have asked her out after meeting her to clarify your intentions instead of frittering your time away for months just hanging out. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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