lenyb74 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 So I need some help with this odd situation. I've been working at a new place since the beginning of the year and there's this girl that kinda seems interested in me somehow, but I'm not sure what to make of it. Now I'm not against it, she's very easy to talk to and she's very cute, I just have a policy of "don't **** where you eat", and I have very rarely broken that policy. If, of course, I find it worthwhile and a not-bumpy transition I would break that policy, but only if I'm really sure of what's going on. I usually don't come into contact with anyone at work if I don't have to (it's just who I am, I'm not a grouch) but she does come by my, let's call it office, every once in a while to talk. Maybe she's just being friendly and/or is bored, but she does seem to have a number of friends at work and typically I don't seem to be an inviting person. I feel the need to emphasize I'm not a grouch, just love my solitude. If someone breaks it I'll talk to them like anyone else, but I never initiate any contact unless I have to. She comes into my "office", has sat on my chair at times, just making up some conversation. Most of her questions are pretty casual though, sometimes about work sometimes about other things, just a lot of them. Complimenting me on my job my cooking and whatnot. It's like she keeps making excuses to find her way into my area, when I rarely do the same with her. One time I was talking to a friend of hers for a while and after she left she almost immediately stroke up a conversation with me, which I found odd since it was one of the few times I had a conversation with someone that's not strictly about work and then she immediately comes over to me. Recently we had a trip and somehow she ended up in my car at the front, which I didn't make much out of since at least it was someone I know and she seems to know I dont talk much and actually enjoy silence. She asked if she could leave a few things in a bag I was carrying around for convenience, and of course I complied, but I did have to remind her that her glasses were still in my back by the end of the day. She also left something in my car, asking me to please bring it to work next day, where I had to give it to her in front of everyone. She's also at least twice casually mentioned her ex in different conversations when I'm around. And kinda implied to ask if I had a gf during a game we were playing. As for her behavior she seems kinda nervous at times, but nothing out of the ordinary, just a bit less than what I notice when she's with others. But I dunno it feels like my senses are telling me something. Like I said I'm not opposed to it, but if I'm comfortable with someone, which doesn't happen often, I keep them as friends or further, and the line between friends or further seems thin at times to me. Oh and I also referred to her as "man" when calling her out, something I do with just about anyone I feel comfortable talking to yet also an easy way to signal to people, whatever the sex, I consider them a friend. If I'm interested in someone I would never use that with them for obvious reasons. Feels kinda weird that someone wouldn't notice that obvious signal, though I have stopped using it recently with her and just calling her by her name, just in case there's something there. Speaking of signals, there hasn't been any physical contact, though in my experience that's not necessarily a deterrent. So, given what I have laid out here, does this sound like something I should even consider pursuing? I don't know her that well, but I do know she seems like the type of girl who would not make a move first. So if she's even trying to tell me something I would have to act first. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 i feel you should ask her out if that's what you want to do, there's nothing there to say she isnt interested in you...... she seems to be friendly with you and if she often makes an effort to talk to you and you dont make an effort points to me she is trying..... work situations are tricky...if you have an outing or outside the work place it would be a better scenario to ask her then..for sure if she is leaving stuff in your car.....gives you an opportunity to ask her by herself out for a walk in the park or something like that coffee maybe..lunch.....ask her and go from there.....good luck..deb Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 Just wondering, does she have a boyfriend/husband, or do you have a girlfriend/wife? I ask because most of the work-related "does (s)he like me" threads on here, one or both of the parties involved is not single. Link to post Share on other sites
act00 Posted March 14, 2017 Share Posted March 14, 2017 She definitely seems into you, and even made references to her "ex," which to me makes me think she wants to make you aware she's available. The question is if you want to cross that line in the workplace. That's a tricky one. If you can maintain a professional demeanor, whether you stay together or break up, then it's worth a try, but there are no guarantees what her (or your) behavior may be. Plus, it's just terribly painful to see each other at work if you don't work out, especially if you know they're dating, and it could be difficult to maintain a good working relationship if things were rocky during your time together. It's also something to think about if you are her superior. People talk, and she doesn't need to be thought of as "sleeping her way to the top," or you coercing her due to your status. (and vice versa) I agree that if you see each other (and other coworkers) outside of work in a more social setting, this might help gauge her interest or if you think you're willing to "pee where you eat." Link to post Share on other sites
Author lenyb74 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 Just wondering, does she have a boyfriend/husband, or do you have a girlfriend/wife? I ask because most of the work-related "does (s)he like me" threads on here, one or both of the parties involved is not single. Not at all no. We're both 22, Im 99% certain she's also 22. Like I said she' mentioned her ex at least twice around me for some reason. I got out of my last serious relationship about year and a half ago or so Link to post Share on other sites
Author lenyb74 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 i feel you should ask her out if that's what you want to do, there's nothing there to say she isnt interested in you...... she seems to be friendly with you and if she often makes an effort to talk to you and you dont make an effort points to me she is trying..... work situations are tricky...if you have an outing or outside the work place it would be a better scenario to ask her then..for sure if she is leaving stuff in your car.....gives you an opportunity to ask her by herself out for a walk in the park or something like that coffee maybe..lunch.....ask her and go from there.....good luck..deb They are! If she does like me and it doesn't work oh well, we tried! We took the risk, now gotta live with the awkwardness but signed up for it. If she doesn't like me, the awkwardness in the work place is x10 I would think. Had that happen in school once, at work it's probably worse. I could make an effort yeah. Usually when I make an effort to speak to someone I'm very direct though, which is why I wanna be certain beforehand Link to post Share on other sites
Author lenyb74 Posted March 14, 2017 Author Share Posted March 14, 2017 She definitely seems into you, and even made references to her "ex," which to me makes me think she wants to make you aware she's available. The question is if you want to cross that line in the workplace. That's a tricky one. If you can maintain a professional demeanor, whether you stay together or break up, then it's worth a try, but there are no guarantees what her (or your) behavior may be. Plus, it's just terribly painful to see each other at work if you don't work out, especially if you know they're dating, and it could be difficult to maintain a good working relationship if things were rocky during your time together. It's also something to think about if you are her superior. People talk, and she doesn't need to be thought of as "sleeping her way to the top," or you coercing her due to your status. (and vice versa) I agree that if you see each other (and other coworkers) outside of work in a more social setting, this might help gauge her interest or if you think you're willing to "pee where you eat." It definitely is tricky, but it's a line I'm willing to cross if it's worth it. If I'm wrong in what I'm sensing here then nope Yeah some of the things she says and does sound on purpose, like she's giving me a light and outside of work I'd take it, but at work I need a lil more Link to post Share on other sites
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