Arp1388 Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Okay, so I have a friend that I met about a year and a half ago (let's call him Mike). He is literally the nicest, sweetest, most caring person I know and I have always admired him. A year ago, he asked me to hang out, we had a bit too much to drink, and we ended up sleeping together. Afterwards, neither of us really knew where we stood. We talked about it and tried dating for a bit but I screwed things up. I had been separated from my husband about eight months before that, but was just officially getting divorced and I wasn't doing very well with it. I ended things with Mike because I wasn't sure how I felt about him with everything that was going on. Also, for some reason it was harder than I thought going from friends to being more and it just didn't really feel right. Tonight I saw him again for the first time in a long time and all the feelings I had came flooding back. I can never seem to help flirting with him like crazy when I'm around him, but I've never actually tried dating or talking to him about it since. Now he is about to go away in April for five or six months. I'm really tempted to try things again- but for one thing I don't know if he would want to after I screwed things up the first time, and for another my brain always tells me that if it didn't work out the first time than it won't the second. And I don't want to break his heart again either. I just don't feel like I'll ever know for 100% sure how I feel unless we actually tried it for a while. What do you think? Talk to him about it or just let this one go? Link to post Share on other sites
morrowrd Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Honestly, I think you know the answer. Even flirting with him is a mind game, because you're doing it and you aren't considering what message it's sending to him. This is a case of you not really knowing what you want, there must be an attraction to him, but not enough of one to give him a commitment. Since you asked for advice, here's mine. Leave him alone, stop flirting with him. If you're his friend, be a friend and stop sending mixed messages. Link to post Share on other sites
jiffysound Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Dating a friend is ok with the consequences of you possibly losing said friend. So ask yourself, is it worth it? Is he/she that good of a friend that I could jeopardize your friendship? If the answer is yes, then sure, go for it, if the answer is no, well there is your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 If you are ready to date and you like Mike, go for it. What you can't do is play with his emotions if you are still on the fence. Unless you are ready to go all in on the dating, leave him be. Link to post Share on other sites
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