Fed up

[vampirebrat]

Last month I went for a coffee with a guy I've liked for a while. He seemed to reciprocate. However, the timing was never right. But now we're both single so I figured I'd make a move. When I asked him his response was pretty lukewarm. Something along the lines of 'that'd be nice.' But when we met his behaviour, well it was just plain weird for someone hanging out with a friend.

 

Afterwards, I backed off for a few days to give him some space. I dropped him the odd message just so he knew that I was still interested.

 

Things dropped off a bit during Christmas and New Years ofc. But after the holidays we got chatting again. But it was getting more flirty. After about a week or so I suggested catching a movie sometime. He responded 'can do, i just need the money'. This threw me a bit as he works two jobs. I didn't confront him, just casually probed him for information. Turns out, he had quit one. Fair enough, I knew he would as he wasn't happy there.

 

But it was still a red flag. If he liked me then he would suggest doing something that didn't cost a lot of money, like a walk or something. I drifted away to think about things. I talked to my mum and my friends, who all agreed that he would make the effort if the interest was there. Still, I was in denial. I thought 'maybe he just doesn't know I like him.' So we got chatting again. He mentioned a bar he never been to, I suggested we go. Same kinda response 'can do, just need the money but sounds like a plan.'

 

I thought 'great I can tell him how I feel when I see him.' But over a few days it dawned on me. The answers were so vague and wishy-washy it could be another month till I saw him.

 

Then something happened. He changed his profile pic to him sitting all cuddly with another girl. Could be innocuous, but I doubt it. Besides if you liked someone else why would you give off the impression you're taken? It makes no sense to me. In a weird way it was a good thing, as it acted like a catalyst. After a week or so of torturing myself I think 'screw it, just tell him over FB'. That way I can be rejected in the comfort of my own home. So I tell him. No reply for about a day. I get borderline annoyed but then realise that his job's pretty tiring and my confession was pretty out of the blue.

 

So I cut him some slack. But I still feel like a total idiot, so on Sunday I apologised. He said 'it's fine, i was busy cuz of work so i didn't reply.' I just blew the whole thing off by changing the subject. We talked some more before he disappeared saying 'talk to you soon '. He did make what seemed like a lame attempt to ask me for a drink. But I just brushed it off, figured I was seeing what I wanted to.

 

Ofc there's been nothing since. I unfollowed him so the picture wouldn't keep popping up on my timeline. But other than that I'm thinking about just drifting out of contact with him.

 

What do you guys think?

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Edited January 18, 2017 by vampirebrat
typo

[umirano]

Sounds like a dead end. As a guy more and more I agree with the tradition that men should indicate their interest and lead when a new relationship should form.

 

Don't pursue him. Go no contact.

[Cookiesandough]

You seem to be doing most of the intiating here and he's reluctantly agreeing or politely declining. :S I mean, I'm not even one of those 70/30 people. It should at least be 50/50, though. You told him how you liked him through text and he dodged you for days then diverted the subject. Hes not even being ambiguous. It's like he's doing everything he can to tell you he's not interested while still being polite....

 

Just don't contact him again and I think you two will drift out of contact. Sorry

[Jj66]

Dead end. Run along.

[vampirebrat]

Thanks guys, you've definitely confirmed my thoughts!