Getting her # on first meeting

[FastHands]

I've had some girls smile at me on first meetings for example when ordering food(quick ask). Now I want to ask her for her number, but I just can't get over the fear she will freak out. I've had this feeling that she will make a big scene...

Just wondering how you ladies would handle a guy asking for number on the first meeting. Would it be awkward?

[Jj66]

Big scene? Asking for a number never causes a big scene. Be prepared for a lot of nos if you just straight up ask for her number after just a smile and no conversation but I doubt there will be any big scenes even if you do it 1000 times.

[mightycpa]

I've had some girls smile at me on first meetings for example when ordering food(quick ask). Now I want to ask her for her number, but I just can't get over the fear she will freak out. I've had this feeling that she will make a big scene...

Just wondering how you ladies would handle a guy asking for number on the first meeting. Would it be awkward?

You know what might help? Why don't you write down the dialogue here that is your worst fear? You know, what would this freak out actually be like? What is the worst thing you can imagine a woman saying?

 

It might help you to see how irrational you are about this.

 

Oh, and just to make sure, you're not talking about the counter people, or the wait staff, are you? You know, because they are paid to smile at you.

[Gaeta]

Offer your number it's less pressure for the woman. She has time to think about it and won't just say no out of shyness or discomfort. I did extremely bad when approached in public. I remember declining giving my number than beating myself over it.

[Lilyana76]

Try having a small chat with her and offering her your number if she ever wants to go out sometime. I wouldn't ask her for her number, because that might be a dead no... if you offer yours then the ball is in her court if she wants to see you or not.

[Larryville]

just to make sure, you're not talking about the counter people, or the wait staff, are you? You know, because they are paid to smile at you.

 

Great point!

 

I've had some girls smile at me on first meetings…

 

I see this so often here it is amazing. I don’t know if this is age/generational in nature but I’m amazed how often men confuse or misinterpret the simplest things like a smile as “interest” when it all likelihood she's probably just being nice to you.

 

Men sometimes frequently mistake friendliness, smiling and eye contact for sexual interest.

 

I read some time ago that generally college age hetero men who viewed images of women misidentified their body language and facial expressions as “sexually suggestive” much of the time. Women made the same mistake but far less frequently.

 

Men generally sucked at interpreting facial expressions and body language.

In addition men often over-inflate themselves and too often “assume” ladies are interested.

 

Men who are generally bad at reading women and often making these mistakes, this generally lead to feelings of frustration and rejection.

 

I just can't get over the fear she will freak out.

 

If you are nice and polite and you generally treat women with respect and don’t ask for phone numbers from women in situations where they might be out and just relaxing enjoying the calm “clearly not looking for anyone or anything” you would be good.

 

This is another example where the bad behavior from some men just may lead to a “freak out” from some women because they can't seemingly go out and just enjoy the world without having dude bug them all the damn time.

 

If a woman is attractive assume she gets asked for her number all the time but also be honest with your own self-assessment as you approach and ask yourself why are you worthy of her number?