What do I do? Is he losing interest?

[DKJ14]

I have had a crush on this guy for some time now. We both attend the same University but we never cross each other's paths on campus because he is a football player and the athletes here don't live directly on campus nor do they have to walk around like every one else because the whole team gets mopeds. (so not fair, lol). Anyways, I have a lot of pride so I never approach a guy or let them know that I like them because I'm extremely afraid of rejection. So, last Friday I was just like you know what f**k it, I'm going to slide in his snapchat DM's, lol. So on snapchat he posted a picture and i sent him the heart eye emojis. Shortly after, he snapped me back with the kissy face emoji and after that I told him good luck because he had a game the next day and he replied and said "thank you lovely" (which was a little funny to me because no one has ever called me lovely). So we chatted for a bit then I gave him my number so he could text me and he did.

 

So once we exchanged numbers we started texting and i noticed right off that he his a very slow texter & it annoyed me a little but i got over it. So throughout us texting, he called me little names like "baby girl" & "love" and he also complimented me calling me "cute/beautiful". So, of course I assumed he was interested in me as well because he was never dry in his messages and every single morning he texted me and said good morning with some sort of emoji. So i honestly thought my move was a success.

 

So Wednesday comes and we both have early classes so we're texting while in class or whatever and he asks me "when we gone link?" (link is slang for hanging out). So i respond and tell him whenever he wants because I know that being a football player here gives players little to no free time unless it's like 6-8pm after they've finished practicing. So he asks if we could hang out that same night on Wednesday since there was no game this week and he was going back to his hometown since he rarely ever gets to go home which I understood so I told him that I was going to be on campus at my cousin's dorm so he could come by or whatever (keep in mind I live in housing off campus). So I waited and waited and I literally never got a response and I never saw him that night. Mind you, today is Sunday and I still haven't heard from him yet, like WTF.

 

I really don't know what this means like I know it hasn't been long since we've started texting but its been like almost 5 days since he's texted me like I'm soooooo confused. He makes it seem like he's interested in me or whatever but then he goes completely MIA right after asking me to hang out with him. And it wasn't even on any type sexual stuff, We just wanted to meet in person to see what each other is like outside of texting and social media. Basically on a personal level. I thought about just texting him and asking him if there's something wrong but I don't want to come off as someone who's desperate for him or make him think bad about me. (Once again, it's my pride). I don't know if I did or said something wrong but I am extremely confused like seriously. I've never been in a situation like this one ever before so that's why I need a little advice. I thought about asking my cousin who is like a sister to me but I honestly want an opinion from someone who I feel will give it to me straight and not give me any false hope trying to protect my feelings.

 

SO, can someone help? PLEASE! I just want to have some sort of answer as to why he went MIA, i want to know if it was my fault. I'm lowkey starting to regret crushing on him and making the first move.

[smackie9]

Simple....he's not that into you.

 

He is a football player...he gets plenty of admiration from other ladies....he was just flirting back like he does like the others....you are not as special as you thought you were. Sad but true.....move on.

[ExpatInItaly]

Honestly?

 

He sounds like a player. I say that because he's calling you "baby girl" and "love" and he's never even met you. He knows how to talk to girls, if you see what I'm getting at. Also, if he is an athlete and a good-looking, single one...he probably gets a lot of attention from a lot of girls.

 

I don't mean to be harsh, but he's clearly not that interested. He would have followed through if he was. I think you read into his texts and emojis as signs of genuine interest, but it takes about 5 seconds to bang out a text to someone. Not much effort required, really. It's nice to get a message, sure. But it's important not to put much weight into those things before getting to know someone.

 

Don't text him again. He knows you're attracted and interested in meeting. Don't assume you did something wrong either. He was rude to not at least let you know he couldn't meet. Forget about him.

[hippychick3]

Honestly?

 

He sounds like a player. I say that because he's calling you "baby girl" and "love" and he's never even met you. He knows how to talk to girls, if you see what I'm getting at. Also, if he is an athlete and a good-looking, single one...he probably gets a lot of attention from a lot of girls.

 

I don't mean to be harsh, but he's clearly not that interested. He would have followed through if he was. I think you read into his texts and emojis as signs of genuine interest, but it takes about 5 seconds to bang out a text to someone. Not much effort required, really. It's nice to get a message, sure. But it's important not to put much weight into those things before getting to know someone.

 

Don't text him again. He knows you're attracted and interested in meeting. Don't assume you did something wrong either. He was rude to not at least let you know he couldn't meet. Forget about him.

 

This exactly.

 

OP, it is very red flaggish for a guy to call you all those sweet nicknames when he hasn't even met you yet. That is NOT a good sign at all. I would immediately distrust any guy who does that before actually knowing me.

 

Since you haven't actually met in person, I wouldn't take it personally. Guys just don't get attached through texting and snapchatting and whatever else you were doing. It was just a fun diversion for him among the many other girls he was probably texting. Move on knowing that his ego is probably too big to really make him good dating material.

[Versacehottie]

This exactly.

 

OP, it is very red flaggish for a guy to call you all those sweet nicknames when he hasn't even met you yet. That is NOT a good sign at all. I would immediately distrust any guy who does that before actually knowing me.

 

Since you haven't actually met in person, I wouldn't take it personally. Guys just don't get attached through texting and snapchatting and whatever else you were doing. It was just a fun diversion for him among the many other girls he was probably texting. Move on knowing that his ego is probably too big to really make him good dating material.

 

Same reason he uses the generic pet names. Gives false sense of being into you, bit of a superiority thing & definitely points toward player-ism, AND he doesn't need to keep your real name straight with others he is talking to.

 

OP, your big mistake was being too available. You don't tell someone you want to be on equal ground with "whenever". If he's a football player, he's used to lots of girls throwing themselves at him, especially for THAT reason. You need to make the "reason" different, i.e. not care about his status in that area. Only care about his status in regards to how he treats you. Be different than the girls that are throwing themselves at him for that reason. I'd go blackout on him. Definitely do not text him or message him. if you start communicating with him again make sure that he is the one who does the "work" and works hard to prove you should let him. Don;t be angry. Right now he's got you "down here" and himself "up there". Balance it out by showing him you are NOT impressed OR affected (i.e. no anger either but no time for) someone who doesn't show you respect. In the future, with guys that act too playboy around you, the best thing to do is call them out in a funny way. (i.e. baby girl would get a teasing comment back from you). These guys count on the fact that their status, combined with looks/body and throw out faux charm, which works on most girls who are overly enthralled by the rest of it. Show that you are savvy and worthy of dating by not falling for the faux charm bit--ie calling them out on it, never in a snarky way, mostly in a way that challenges them to do better, be real. Hope I am explaining it well--it's easy in the moment but not if you are driven by emotions. You have to take what they are "offering" at this stage with a grain of salt because that's exactly what it is--a step above nothing. Guys like this typically respond to the girl that they don't KNOW if they can get. Everything you were doing, shows him that he CAN get you. Be different. Good luck

[JewelD]

He sounds like a tool honestly. But most college athletes are. He's a big man on campus and he's probably got a lot of girls showing interest in him. Maybe it wasn't sexual for you but I guarantee he was hoping to hook up. "When we gone link"= "when we gone fk". Basically.

 

His interest level was probably not that high to begin with.