Parents choosing who I should love when in relationship

[Hisbabygirl]

Hey.

My parents are now trying to tell me to date someone from my school but yet I'm already in a 2 month relationship. They want me to date one of the guys I'm been close friend with who I've had a crush on all freshman year. I don't know what to do and I also don't wanna end my relationship with the guy I'm with now. Do you have any advice for me?? I don't know where to turn. And they guy I have a crush on met my parents last Monday cause he was gonna take me bowling and both his and my anxiety levels got bad. I hate my parents meeting people I know and hate them picking the person they think is best for me. Even the guy who I have a crush on said he doesn't like my parents cause they scared him from just meeting them. Got any advice???

[almond]

Advice: keep your parents out of your love life and scale it back to a strict need to know basis. You invited this by introducing them to this guy. What do they think about you dating other men while you have a boyfriend?

 

Also, if you have a boyfriend then having another guy you have a crush on come to your house, meet your parents and then take you on a date is pretty selfish and hurtful behaviour in my opinion.

 

You don't sound like you're even close to ready for a serious relationship.

[tayriley]

it's your life, not your parents'. date who you want.

 

know your independence may come at a price, though. i know some extreme parents that might cut you off financially. dont know how old you are, but given that you are at school, i'm guessing your parents are supporting you.

 

if you are still young, just keep your dates and boyfriends away from your parents if they are going to act weird and offensive toward them.

[bubbaganoosh]

How old are you? If your an adult then maybe it's time that you have a sit down and let them know that you want to make your own choice even if it backfires on you. It's your life. Make your choices and be done with it. You can explain it to them without being nasty and that wont get you anywhere.

[d0nnivain]

You mentioned school. I'm assuming you are young. Parents want to give guidance. Explain to them that you are dating somebody & that you would prefer to give that relationship a fair shake. Then leave your crush alone for the time being. If your present relationship ends, take some time to heal then solicit your parents' input before getting serious with the next guy.

[preraph]

I would say "I can't believe you're suggesting I cheat on my boyfriend. As parents, aren't you supposed to be good role models?"

 

But if down the line you feel like dating this other guy, let your bf off the hook first and don't sneak around.

[Hisbabygirl]

My friend who I have a crush on he likes hanging out with me but my parents want me to date him but I want the guy I'm with. I hang out with guys more then I do girls cause its mainly less drama. I'm only 14 gonna be 15 soon. I just hate the fact that my parents want me with someone else and I have to have the guys come to my house cause my parents won't let me go out until they have met the person I'm gonna be with for a fun time.

[preraph]

Just tell your mom she is free to date him if she wishes, but that you are not currently in the market for a boyfriend because you already have one.

[sagetalk]

Do your parents not like the guy your are currently dating, or is it just they like this other guy better? Your parents advice is not something to just toss out a window without thinking about it, especially in dating. They know 100x more than you do about growing up and life. Marrying the wrong person is a disaster that is best avoided.

 

The more advise form people that love you, the better I say.

[smackie9]

When I was your age I never listened to my parents because I didn't care what their opinion was....I was willing to make mistakes and learn about life on my own terms. I turned out just fine, with some good experiences under my belt. I'm sure you can do the same.

[mortensorchid]

When I was a kid I felt as if I was being squeezed and squelched by my parents at all times. I felt like they never liked my friends or my boyfriend(s). I reminded my father not too long ago after a certain something that came up that I could not believe he would give my phone number to someone who called the house looking for me (a woman I went to high school with, the story is far long to get into here). I said I can't believe he would give my phone number to a stranger, let alone a person who used a magic word or two to make him give it over to him. But I digress ...

 

When parents are pushing you into something, you can only do one of two things: 1) Go along with it or 2) Defy them. If you do the first, at least in my case, I find that if you go along with what they want you (and them) will end up miserable, because all you can do is prove them wrong. 2) Defy them and they will end up angry and you'll be in no different of a position than you were before. For example, when I was 22 and first getting out into the world with my first full time job, my father decided that he was going to take over my social life. The man DEMANDS IN ALL CAPS that things be his way, and he actually dragged me, kicking and screaming to a high school football game to meet young people my age. Yes, so young they can't drive yet. Then he would demand I do other things to meet people - in most situations you would meet either kids (as in children) or older people. He gave up eventually. Today I am 41, and he says if there was something he could do or say to make me go to church he would do it. I said "I have washed my hands of it. And I have washed my hands because of your demanding. I said "Eh, fagetaboutit! I'm DONE!" And I'm happy, and I hope he's depressed about it.

 

That's my answer.

[kendahke]

Tell them as firmly as you can "No, I am not going to date him. I'm already dating someone else. Please respect my decision."

 

You're a minor, living in their house. They are going to weigh in if you bring guys you don't want to date home.

 

You're allowing a guy 1. who you're crushing on and 2. you're not dating to come over to take you out bowling when you say you already have a boyfriend of 2 months. I mean, he's met your parents. Has your 2 month boyfriend met your parents? Crushing on him and going out on a bowling date doesn't tell me that you've got any loyalty towards this guy you've been dating for two months.

Edited June 1, 2016 by kendahke

[SammySammy]

This child is only fourteen years old.

 

While it is true that parents can't choose who you love, I can understand them wanting to guide her decisions at that age.

 

I don't think she should date the guy she's not interested in, but I also don't think we should be encouraging minors to disrespect their parents.

 

Talking to her parents - trying to get them to understand how she feels - without dating either guy may be the best option here.

[Hisbabygirl]

Okay. Yesterday I broke up with the guy I was with for 2 months. He choose baseball over me. Thanks for the advise everyone

[Noproblem]

Parents know best, when they don't like someone probably they sensed something. That being said. no don't choose anyone just because they said so, and don't overlook him just because they said so. Just be cautious and choose the one that is right for you.

Good for the guy to choose baseball over you, this is a great lesson in this early stage of your life.

Don't choose people over your life goals or career.. Study hard or work on whatever activities or talent that will make you more successful while you are at school so you can advance in life.

These boys and girls will come and go, but what remains is your future and what your built for yourself. What also remains are your parents love despite their over protectiveness and their meddling in your business.

 

P.S: I am sad that you are sad. But let it go <3