Anxious and feeling down

[Bigmess2]

I've been doing a lot of reading lately on staying positive even through tough times.... But lately I can't help but feeling down. I've been active, going to the gym, the park, hanging with friends and family, reminding myself of all the good I've got going on in my life. I'm not sure what to do... The guy I had been dating over this passed year has really left a negative effect on me. His empty words and promises are stuck with me while his actions never proved to back them up and I'm left here just feeling so confused. He ghosted me more than once, would return randomly to tell me he thinks I'm the one and doesn't understand why he's so scared, but he just continues to run. That's not someone who thinks they've found the one. That's a coward. I'm just so sick of being used or giving so much hope to things that people tell me only to watch it crumble when they don't back it up with their actions. It takes a toll on the brain and the heart.... I feel so empty in the one part of my life that I want to feel whole. I've got everything else going for me and you'd think having all that would make me happy but I'm just so incomplete.

[Buddhist]

Here's some advice for you. Stop trying to feel better. There's a big lie in life, it says that we need to constantly battle to feel good, to move away from so-called negative emotions at all costs. In actuality what that does is suppress those emotions and blind us to the true cause of them. Emotions are emotions, they are are neither positive nor negative. Sure some of them feel uncomfortable, that doesn't mean we should pull all stops out not to feel them.

 

What you are feeling is that hole in your life. You've been seeking to fill it through other people and other people haven't been doing it for you. Because they can't. You have to fill that hole yourself. If you keep trying to get back to feeling good by ignoring the gaping hole in your existence you are effectively putting a happy sticker over the top of a problem. You will then keep running into the same problem over and over again.

 

If you truly are sick of this merry-go-round then you will acknowledge how you feel by feeling it. Then seek an answer for the actual problem. How you do that is up to you. But you already know that distraction, forced positivity, ignoring the problem and attempting to feel good without fixing it, don't work.

 

The guy that left you, couldn't make his mind up about you, couldn't commit to you. Is you. Fix that instead.

[Versacehottie]

I've been doing a lot of reading lately on staying positive even through tough times.... But lately I can't help but feeling down. I've been active, going to the gym, the park, hanging with friends and family, reminding myself of all the good I've got going on in my life. I'm not sure what to do... The guy I had been dating over this passed year has really left a negative effect on me. His empty words and promises are stuck with me while his actions never proved to back them up and I'm left here just feeling so confused. He ghosted me more than once, would return randomly to tell me he thinks I'm the one and doesn't understand why he's so scared, but he just continues to run. That's not someone who thinks they've found the one. That's a coward. I'm just so sick of being used or giving so much hope to things that people tell me only to watch it crumble when they don't back it up with their actions. It takes a toll on the brain and the heart.... I feel so empty in the one part of my life that I want to feel whole. I've got everything else going for me and you'd think having all that would make me happy but I'm just so incomplete. ��

 

awwww, I just want to give you a big hug. I remember your story. I'm thinking it's the same guy? From work? ok, you are not going to like this answer but I think it's where you are: you are doing the right things---with the exception of still letting him into your life. There are psychological reasons why the more that he goes in and out of your life you grow MORE attached and more desperate to see have it work. The best thing you can do is replace him with someone else. Realizing that actually is a little harder than it sounds, you need to stop letting him into your life. Yes don't talk to him (other than work related, if you must). Consider getting a new job. It's a world of pain what's going on. Try not to blame yourself or him. Just focus on getting yourself untangled.

 

I think you should use the help of the breakup forums and really throw yourself into other stuff. I mean schedule every waking hour. If you want to change a habit that's what you must do. good luck

[OnlyHonesty]

Take a look at your diet, you might not be getting enough of what you need to allow your body to actually feel good.

 

However, if all in that area is ok and you still feel bad then perhaps you should simply embrace it, work through it, understand it and let it pass.

 

As for the guy you mentioned, all negativity from others in life should be ejected. If you continue to allow him to bring negativity back into your life then you will suffer the consequences.

 

Our bodies will communicate to us anything we need to address, listen, learn and then take action.