KiwiGuy1985 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I just got hired at a job, and I've been working with this girl for some time. Sometimes we both work in the same area, help each other out, and she's trained me. We laugh together, talk, and have fun. I am 30, she's 19. She's more friendly to me than any other girl in the work area, and she fits the type I attract. I always always attract petite blondes, and she's also punk (I've been wanting a punk girlfriend). I was walking towards the time clock during our shift's end, and she came and spoke to me. She briefly mentioned she has a boyfriend, but she never has talked about him. We ended up walking to the hallway, and our conversation was 15 minutes total. During our conversation, she kept acting like she was leaving, but then would turn her body to talk some more. She did this about 2 times, we were both smiling, and the manager booted us out, because the building was closing. The following day as I was driving, I had a vision in my head of us together on a Ferris wheel, and then another vision of us together laughing and eating ice cream on a hot summer day. My head then started going into the clouds for a while, but then I laughed and brushed these thoughts off, because I guess I thought it was too good to be true. Yesterday, my body started feeling extremely weird. I was getting a high intensity tingly feeling in my body, increased heart rate, head in clouds, spark feeling in my stomach, and so forth. I started to get a little scared, because I had no control over this, even when there wasn't really any thoughts about her. This feeling lasted for the whole day, but would occasionally fade in and out (she wasn't working that day). I had this same exact feeling when I met my last brief girlfriend. This is the ding ding ding feeling, kind of like me visualizing a casino slot machine going off. My dating psychology book says that if she struck up a conversation for no reason and then continued it, this was a sign that she was highly interested. It also said that her showing positive body language was another indicator (her facing me with her hips and shoulders). The thing is, I want to think positive, but I also don't want to place all my eggs in the basket. I went through 1 divorce last year along with 2 break ups, and I've been devastated since then. My ex-wife cheated on me, one girl played me, the other told lies about herself, and I had several god awful dates. I'm not afraid of rejection, I have no problem asking for her number; I'm more of concerned as the outcome of how this would take place. I don't know how much more false hope I can handle, I'm just really tired of running to the checkered flag only to trip over a rock, and land on my face. I'm honestly tired of all these BS games that women play, and it puts me in a position where I either block the girl's number, or just ignore her in general. So I wanted to ask, do you think there's something going on between us, or is my mind just playing games with me? What was going on with me the other day with my body? I feel that there is a reason this feeling has been going on, and I just want to get to the bottom of it (it's still going on, but has dwindled down). I guess I'm only going to know when I see her again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Nothing is going on between you & this child anywhere but in your own mind. She's a 19 year old with a BF. To her you are an old man. Find somebody closer to your age who is not a co-worker. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 To me she just sounds like a typical talkative teenager. With a boyfriend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I think the feelings point to you simply having a crush on her, of course. It sounds like she likes you as a person. If you still feel "devastated", it sounds like you're carrying a lot of baggage about relationship disappointments. This girl has nothing to do with the pain you've endured in past relationships and the games people play. I recently started a new job, and there are plenty of men with girlfriends and wives who spend more time chatting with me in the break room, smiling at me, looking at me during meetings than you'd expect from just a friendly interaction. I'm single, and I think the way I dress and interact with people broadcasts that. Some of these men seem to be attracted to me, and I feel some attraction to them. Neither of us crosses any lines because of their relationship status. But we're human, and we can't control the invisible energy and attraction that is naturally there. A boyfriend, especially when you're 19, is just a boyfriend, and in most cases that boyfriend won't be there in a few years, won't become a husband. If their relationship has any troubles, you being the nice and respectfully flirty guy at work will get her thinking about the fact that there are plenty of men out there who might treat her better. It's possible she's dating a clueless teenager who doesn't yet know how to value what he has. If she's in a happy relationship and is just being friendly with you, her presence may simply serve as a spark for you to let go of your baggage, move on, and find a good relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I went through 1 divorce last year along with 2 break ups, and I've been devastated since then. My ex-wife cheated on me, one girl played me, the other told lies about herself, and I had several god awful dates. I'm not afraid of rejection, I have no problem asking for her number; I'm more of concerned as the outcome of how this would take place. I don't know how much more false hope I can handle, I'm just really tired of running to the checkered flag only to trip over a rock, and land on my face. I'm honestly tired of all these BS games that women play, and it puts me in a position where I either block the girl's number, or just ignore her in general. OK, all pretty traumatic, so the last thing you need is a 19 yo with a boyfriend. Even if she and you got together, you will be all deadly serious about her and she will dump you PDQ for the nearest hot guy close to her own age who shows her the merest hint of attention. Or even if you do manage to trap her, at 25 she will get GIGS and be off to experience the world, whilst at 36 you will not be exactly sure what hit you... Enjoy the chats, keep day dreaming if you must, but leave it there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 The emotional age gap between a 19 year old, and a 30 year old, is huge. She knows little or nothing about life and relationships. Its better for her to learn about those 2 things amongst her peers. Nature prefers it that way. Take care. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Chances are not good for you when the girl tells you she has a boyfriend. If she wanted to be with you, she'd play down that fact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robratory Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 My dating psychology book says that if she struck up a conversation for no reason and then continued it, this was a sign that she was highly interested. It also said that her showing positive body language was another indicator (her facing me with her hips and shoulders). That book can at most describe general human behavior. It's like that thing if you ask people to think of a vegetable, most will think will think carrots. And if you pretend to read their minds, they'll be amazed. But not everyone will think carrots. The only way to find out if a girl is interested is to ask her on a date. But like others have said, not only does she have a boyfriend, but she's 19. Even by the French rule about "half the man's age plus seven," she's too young. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Erik30 Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 She has a boyfriend.... and besides that, you're a 30 year old man who went through a divorce, she's still an inexperienced teen. Think about it, you've been married while she's not even allowed to drink yet. You might also be reading too much into things. Maybe she's just being friendly, and likes talking to you. Even if you forget about the age gap and experience... again, she's not single 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KiwiGuy1985 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Hey guys, I appreciate some of the feedback, but I feel I need to go by my gut instinct, and find out the answer for myself instead of playing guessing games. I think I was mostly concerned about that feeling I was having, and was wondering if she was experiencing the same. I would rather her say no than me not finding the answer. If she says no, I'm going to keep searching. I'm not going to give up my dream. I'm also getting an image in here as if people think I'm some kind of creep or something based on her age. If she was 41, nobody in here would be acting like this. When I was 27, I had a girl that was 18 that asked me out, and wanted to hook up with me; and I've also dated women in their mid 40's and 50's. Link to post Share on other sites
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