fundamental Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Hello All, I am writing because I am dealing with a couple of issues that I would like to get off of my chest. About a year ago I began dating my friend (AAA), who is also one of my best friend's ex's MMM(they dated for a few months a few years ago) and another friend's ex NNN(they dated a couple months a few years ago) . She dated MMM and NNN. We became good friends after she broke up with my friend. During our friendship, we realized that it was something more and we began seeing each other. In the beginning, it was not easy to deal with dating a friend's ex, so we kept the relationship fairly private. She (AAA) was concerned about her reputation and I didn't want to seem like a bad friend. Eventually we both got over the situation and now everyone knows about us. The good thing is that most of our friends have been extremely supportive of our relationship. The exs don't seems to care that much because each has his own thing going on with other women. However, another friend (QQQ) has heard of (AAA's) sexual stories with her ex's. The exs MMM and NNN still continue to talk to QQQ about all of the things that they did with her. The thing is I am not jealous or insecure about the situation. However, it is annoying hearing my friend QQQ tell me "Oh, I know exactly what they did with her, MMM told me everything, or NNN told me this etc." Deep down I know the exs, who are/were close friends to me dislike her a lot for reasons....the relationship not working out, etc. I am the type of person who will date a woman but not tell my friends details on what the woman and I have done sexually. Is it a normal thing to do? Tell friends about your serious/long term girlfriend? I believe it's disrespectful and childish and I would never choose to give out extreme detailed information about my sex life with my long-term gf to my friends. We are all in our 20s The funny thing is a few years ago when my friend NNN or MMM was dating her, they would try to tell me stories about her but I didn't care to listen. They make it seem like they are having sex with a girl for the first time. I am comfortable with her and her past and she knows this. She knows I love her and I know she loves me. Our relationship is great, and I have no problem with her telling me her past, etc. It just irritates me that the exs would do this. She believes they are perverts and thought of her as an object during her very insecure years. They used her. She has built up a lot of confidence in herself and is happy we are together. How many men/women give out detailed information to their friend's about the things they did with their gf/bf? I can understand giving out snapshot info such as "We had sex?", "She was all over me last night?" Or I can even understand giving out detailed info about a woman that the friend doesn't know or will never see such as a one night stand. I just had to get that off of my chest....feeling irritated about that...them. They were good friend's but it's hard to deal with them right now. I know some people will say "Well, you shouldn't date a friend's ex", but we are very good for each other and have a strong friendship, admiration, and attraction between us. I never planned on getting together with her, it just happened. Anyway, comments would be very appreciated. Thanks, Fund Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 I've always found people who did that fall into one of two categories: 1. The deeply insecure who want to try to make themselves look better at the expense of someone else. 2. The emotionally detached. Its good that your g/f was able to find someone who cherishes her and what you two have. If your friends can't be respectful of that, the least they can do is be respectful of that when you are within earshot. Link to post Share on other sites
She's Come Undone Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 Sounds like they couldn't hold on to her and they are jealous that you did. You're absolutely right, keep your sex life between the two of you, you'll be glad you did! Another thing, stop talking about her to M, N, and Q, that gives them an opening to try and tarnish her image and make you mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Merin Posted January 31, 2005 Share Posted January 31, 2005 MMM, NNN, AND QQQ need to get a life and leave things alone. Honestly IF this were me.. and Q felt the "need" to tell me what M and N had said about your girlfriend.. I would tell Q you're not interested and don't appreciate him/her regurgatating 411. Let ALL of them know that regardless of what happend in your girls past with them or anyone else for that matter, that you and she are good, the 2 of you have no secrets from each other and prefer to keep the past right there.. in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fundamental Posted January 31, 2005 Author Share Posted January 31, 2005 All, I appreciate your responses...it's nice to come on here and receive suggestions and advice, it really does make me feel a lot better. I don't talk about AAA around MMM and NNN or even QQQ. I guess it's really QQQ that is annoying me the most. Even time I am with her, QQQ thinks that we are having sex--he must view her as a sex object as well--when we are actually going for a walk, or talking, or out at the park, etc. I will have a talk with QQQ to let him know that I don't appreciate his way of thinking. She is so much more than just sex. All three of them need to grow up...I just can't believe that they are my friends. Fund Link to post Share on other sites
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