sam123456 Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Or are you supposed to make friends first? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Generally yes, conversation is a big plus before asking someone on a date. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Conversation is also strongly encouraged during a date too. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LilaMarie Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 To be friends first is friendzoning yourself and that means you are hiding your true intentions (bc you don't really want to be their friend...you have an ulterior motive and no one likes to be deceived). Friends no. Acquaintances okay. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I feel uncomfortable if a man asks me on a date out of the blue (not that that happens very much at all). I prefer that we talk for at least 10 minutes so some kind of rapport has been built up. We don't have to talk for hours, just enough time to want to get to know each other more. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sam123456 Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 To be friends first is friendzoning yourself and that means you are hiding your true intentions (bc you don't really want to be their friend...you have an ulterior motive and no one likes to be deceived). Friends no. Acquaintances okay. So how do you make conversation without turning her into your friend? How do you make it clear that your intent is romance and not friendship? Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I had a friend who I was friends with for a year. I ended up falling for her and sent her a Valetines card. She found it it was me and stopped speaking to me. It devasted me for like 5 years and I ve learnt you shouldnt be a friend first becuase what happens when she says "no". Do you stop being friends? I m the type of man who still can but in my youger years I saw a lot of my friends go through this and they lost a lot of friends. I d say you shoul have a conversation first to see how it goes but your MOTIVES must be clear fromt he beginng. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Or are you supposed to make friends first? "Are you supposed to make conversation with a woman . . . ? -- No, you should grab her by the hair and drag her to your cave You can't make friends without having conversation either . . . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 How do you know if she is the sort of person you would want to date unless you speak to her? Speak to women OP. As someone else has said acquaintances is good. Friends a no no. Is it someone in particular that you want to ask out? Can you give us a bit more detail so we can understand the context of your question? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 So how do you make conversation without turning her into your friend? How do you make it clear that your intent is romance and not friendship? You make it a short conversation. When you take no action of the course of several meetings with somebody she concludes you don't have a romantic interest. But if you talk to her & ask her on a date withing the 1st or 2nd conversation you should not end up friend-zoned 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I feel as though I'm about to give away a trademarked secret of mine, but this typically works for me. See a girl you are interested in getting to see nake.. eerm, I mean know better, what you do is have to see if you two are a good match for each other first (Ignore this if you just want to bang her, but then again, go to a bar and skip the date). The short convo is to see if you guys have a simple genuine connection/things in common. Get them talking about it, then cut them off mid stream and tell them you're insanely sorry and you've got to go, how about we meet for a cup of coffee sometime. Then go, but here's the kicker, at the end if it was good and you want to date her, you must ask them to their face to go on a date with them in that moment. It allows you to build a connection without any distinction/pressure of a date, but then you make your intentions known before 'friendzone' tears. Pfsh, friendzone doesn't exist. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I feel as though I'm about to give away a trademarked secret of mine, but this typically works for me. See a girl you are interested in getting to see nake.. eerm, I mean know better, what you do is have to see if you two are a good match for each other first (Ignore this if you just want to bang her, but then again, go to a bar and skip the date). The short convo is to see if you guys have a simple genuine connection/things in common. Get them talking about it, then cut them off mid stream and tell them you're insanely sorry and you've got to go, how about we meet for a cup of coffee sometime. Then go, but here's the kicker, at the end if it was good and you want to date her, you must ask them to their face to go on a date with them in that moment. It allows you to build a connection without any distinction/pressure of a date, but then you make your intentions known before 'friendzone' tears. Pfsh, friendzone doesn't exist. Hope you don't mind if I add to this? I'm a woman btw.. Start that short convo with your surroundings (which you both have in common right at that time) and then you can move on to other small talk kind of stuff - not too much though, not too many questions. Do ask for that coffee - as a date. If she says yes swap numbers. Ask 'do you prefer a call or a text?' The just before you leave you lean in and kiss her on the cheek and tell her she smells great. Don't lean in and kiss like everyone does and just touch cheeks, properly kiss her cheek and gently touch her upper arm/waist (do not grope!!). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Hope you don't mind if I add to this? I'm a woman btw.. Start that short convo with your surroundings (which you both have in common right at that time) and then you can move on to other small talk kind of stuff - not too much though, not too many questions. Do ask for that coffee - as a date. If she says yes swap numbers. Ask 'do you prefer a call or a text?' The just before you leave you lean in and kiss her on the cheek and tell her she smells great. Don't lean in and kiss like everyone does and just touch cheeks, properly kiss her cheek and gently touch her upper arm/waist (do not grope!!). Hope you don't mind when I steal this last part. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Xiomn Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Good question. Not sure really, I haven't had much experience at all really having only ever asked one girl out in my lifetime but I didn't make any conversation with her prior, just went up to her and said "Hey I think you're pretty cute and I was wondering if I could get your number" then as she input her phone number into mine I asked for her name, told mine then walked off. We dated for a month after. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Hope you don't mind when I steal this last part. You are totally welcome Sir! Link to post Share on other sites
Oregon_Dude Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Absolutely not. I don't even talk to them ON the date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Truth34 Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 Just reading that last part about leaning in for a peck on the cheeks made me scroll up to see who the poster was! I love it Gemma, I do, but I just cant see that going over too great with a lot of women here in the US :0 Link to post Share on other sites
shoplocal Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Just reading that last part about leaning in for a peck on the cheeks made me scroll up to see who the poster was! I love it Gemma, I do, but I just cant see that going over too great with a lot of women here in the US :0 Yeah...definitely don't think that would work here. Link to post Share on other sites
AspenBaldwin Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Either that or use telepathy to let her know you want her. Link to post Share on other sites
FeelingFireworks Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Hope you don't mind if I add to this? I'm a woman btw.. Start that short convo with your surroundings (which you both have in common right at that time) and then you can move on to other small talk kind of stuff - not too much though, not too many questions. Do ask for that coffee - as a date. If she says yes swap numbers. Ask 'do you prefer a call or a text?' The just before you leave you lean in and kiss her on the cheek and tell her she smells great. Don't lean in and kiss like everyone does and just touch cheeks, properly kiss her cheek and gently touch her upper arm/waist (do not grope!!). Co-sign this! If you've built up a good verbal/flirty rapport then this is a great closer. Bold enough to demonstrate non-platonic interest but tame enough not to get your face slapped. its really all in the delivery though: being natural, positive and confident rather than all robotic/scripted about it will come across as charming. You may also get her thinking thoughts of attraction towards you too. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fmfan08 Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Not just a conversation but some humour, teasing, flirting, etc.. Enough to spark her into that positive mood.. This is where you want to ask her out because it will be the best chance of her saying yes. Link to post Share on other sites
JustGettingBy Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 Hope you don't mind if I add to this? I'm a woman btw.. Start that short convo with your surroundings (which you both have in common right at that time) and then you can move on to other small talk kind of stuff - not too much though, not too many questions. Do ask for that coffee - as a date. If she says yes swap numbers. Ask 'do you prefer a call or a text?' The just before you leave you lean in and kiss her on the cheek and tell her she smells great. Don't lean in and kiss like everyone does and just touch cheeks, properly kiss her cheek and gently touch her upper arm/waist (do not grope!!). Do you have an alternate compliment? I have anosmia, so the 'you smell great' line wouldn't be anything I could back up. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Just reading that last part about leaning in for a peck on the cheeks made me scroll up to see who the poster was! I love it Gemma, I do, but I just cant see that going over too great with a lot of women here in the US :0 You only need it to go over well with the one you want to date. If you're unsure about getting to the lean in then it's likely your gut instinct telling you not to because it wouldn't go down well and the conversation has not been as good as you think it has. You still need to be reading her signals. You could also try taking her hand and kissing the back of her hand if you feel that's Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Do you have an alternate compliment? I have anosmia, so the 'you smell great' line wouldn't be anything I could back up. Any non-sexual compliment will do. Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Absolutely not. I don't even talk to them ON the date. ...because they didn't show up???? Link to post Share on other sites
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