Eternal Sunshine Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 (edited) This has happened so many times. Most recent example. My housemate's friend was hanging out with us couple of times. Whenever he was over, I was tired and found him annoying so I hoped he would leave soon. I remember the last time, I was talking on the phone for a long time. I was worried that I was being rude, so whenver I saw him glancing at me, I would just smile but continue my phone conversation. Apart from that, we exhanged some tedious small talk and I pretend-laughed at some of his jokes. Later that day, I get a text from him inviting me to his place because he could see that I was interested in him??? This keeps happening. It is really insulting to not even have a guy say that he is interested in me but basically just "I think you are interested, wanna fk?" Edited November 30, 2015 by Eternal Sunshine Link to post Share on other sites
lilmissjava Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Don't smile at guys you don't like. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 I was reading somewhere that men are different from women and often misread politeness or being nice to them, thinking you're interested 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Vilgefoz Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 This has happened so many times. Most recent example. My housemate's friend was hanging out with us couple of times. Whenever he was over, I was tired and found him annoying so I hoped he would leave soon. I remember the last time, I was talking on the phone for a long time. I was worried that I was being rude, so whenver I saw him glancing at me, I would just smile but continue my phone conversation. Apart from that, we exhanged some tedious small talk and I pretend-laughed at some of his jokes. Later that day, I get a text from him inviting me to his place because he could see that I was interested in him??? This keeps happening. It is really insulting to not even have a guy say that he is interested in me but basically just "I think you are interested, wanna fk?" three possible explanations: a) You are very beautiful and men try their chances even when odds are slim b) you (maybe unintentionally) smile and talk in a way you flirt, sending confusing signals c) quite likely, you are referring to dumb asses taking every polite word as signal for dating. Probably young, unexperienced males or rather needy ones. Me, I can pretty much see which girl is interested and which is not. It's a matter of experience and not being dumb, IMO. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 How insulting. That would pisss me off so bad. What did you respond to his text? Wow. He really assumed you were down to F..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 I was reading somewhere that men are different from women and often misread politeness or being nice to them, thinking you're interested I think this is very true, and I realize it the older I get. I used to often think women were interested in me in more than just - being nice to a person I just met or barely know kind of way. Now, that I'm 55 and I notice that young women are still nice to me, or smile at me, I'm at least wise enough to know that the 25 year old beauty flashing me her pearly whites and being nice to me...is just that...being nice to me. Chances are, when I was 30 and she was 25..she was just being nice also. Link to post Share on other sites
insert_name Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 When one gender takes a passive role in the dating game this is what happens, unfortunately. Guys have to chance their arm Personally, I don't see much issue here either. He asked and will either not get a response (quite rightly given the tone) or rejected and life will go on. He could could do with injecting some class into his technique though, I will say that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted November 30, 2015 Author Share Posted November 30, 2015 How insulting. That would pisss me off so bad. What did you respond to his text? Wow. He really assumed you were down to F..... Yeah totally. We live in the same apartment complex so this makes things awkward. I just responded "Sorry, not interested. I was just being friendly". Few hours later, I get this long winded message of how he was really drunk, he passed out and he doesn't even remember sending the text (yeah right - the text actually said "Hi ES, I know you have a bf but...." so he knew he was sending it to me). *He thinks guy I just broke up with is my bf because he slept over a couple of times. I just went "no problem" because I will have to see him again. If it was some random I wouldn't have even responded. Link to post Share on other sites
MightyPen Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 This has happened so many times. Most recent example. My housemate's friend was hanging out with us couple of times. Whenever he was over, I was tired and found him annoying so I hoped he would leave soon. I remember the last time, I was talking on the phone for a long time. I was worried that I was being rude, so whenver I saw him glancing at me, I would just smile but continue my phone conversation. Apart from that, we exhanged some tedious small talk and I pretend-laughed at some of his jokes. Later that day, I get a text from him inviting me to his place because he could see that I was interested in him??? This keeps happening. It is really insulting to not even have a guy say that he is interested in me but basically just "I think you are interested, wanna fk?" Generally, when someone posts something like "why does this always happen to me?" folks suggest that the OP look at his/her own behavior since the OP is the common denominator in all the OP's interactions. It's just logical after all. Either that, or all men are boorish, and we know that's not true! Ummm...right? If I was running into the same behavior from people over and over, I might look inward in an attempt to figure out the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 You're unintentionally giving off the wrong vibe by being polite and smiling. Men see that as being interested in them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ic1 Posted November 30, 2015 Share Posted November 30, 2015 Because that message was from your housemate's friend, who you might see again because your housemate could bring him over again, I'd address his actions to make sure he doesn't cross any lines. (Or cross them again). Link to post Share on other sites
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