There's this girl , there's always a girl.

[Randall13]

She's so cool and we work together , I really like her we talk all the time about anything and everything , I've literally just come back from a night out with her , but it didn't really go as planned as a work colleague that was also there got so drunk and ruined the evening, that rather than the huge flirting session that I had planned suddenly turned into a huge babysitting evening.

 

Anyway I'm a huge flirt and I flirt with her all the time , I'll say the cheesiest things just to make her smile , write her poems and leave them on her desk , leave post it notes written in spainsh because I know she will google it , I'm never intrusive and not aggressive , I respect her space and never bombard her with text outside work , she's always laughing with me , lots of touching random hugs , she changed her break to sit with me , and last night we moved tables 3 times and she still sat by me and the one time I didn't sit with her she apparently gave me a look that said " yeah .. What are you doing "

 

My question is that she has said she's not confident! And can't really deal with me when I give her compliments, she likes it and goes red and blushes but she said that she's never had that level of attention before and doesn't know how to react to it so she just sort of goes quiet on me because and I quote " I don't believe you " and then suddleny she will come back and it's game on again .She also has told me she has body issues and has used the word hate to describe parts of her even tho I don't see what shes talking about , now I'll be honest I have no trouble talking to woman , but she stumps me !!! I mean I'm here writing this , yesterday evening she said on more that one occasion that I was " chatting her up" when I actually wasn't and I turned it around by saying " maybe you ...want me to chat you up!! " so it was going well . But I'm stumped about how to play this as I don't want to be pushy or overly aggressive with my come ons . I know She's interested in me she's told people we work with , but because of these issues and this whole confident issues I don't know what to do , all the signs are there but ...... It's a flipping rubixcube I tell you

 

Wow I wrote a lot but like I said it was yesterday and still fresh in my mind.

[Glitters]

She is probably shy. Many shy women are confident but some are not. Shy and lack of confidence don't go together , like most people assume.

 

Are you a huge flirt in general as well ? Meaning , you flirt with other women as well? If so, then that is where her issue ( or rather your issue ) is. She doesn't believe you because you treat her and other women around you , the same way. How would she know the difference between them and her ?

 

She probably feels that she is just one of those as well !

[kassy]

I don't understand the issue, you like her and said you know she likes you... Why don't you ask her out on a date? Seems like the obvious next step to me... Maybe I'm missing something?

[Randall13]

Are you a huge flirt in general as well ? Meaning , you flirt with other women as well? If so, then that is where her issue ( or rather your issue ) is. She doesn't believe you because you treat her and other women around you , the same way. How would she know the difference between them and her ?

 

She probably feels that she is just one of those as well !

 

I never thought about it like that , but I wouldn't say I flirt with others like I do with her , maybe there's a difference I'm not seeing. She always gets my full attention when she's around , I'm not a player and when in a relationship I don't flirt around .. Thanks

[Randall13]

I don't understand the issue, you like her and said you know she likes you... Why don't you ask her out on a date? Seems like the obvious next step to me... Maybe I'm missing something?

 

This is also true , but what someone says to one person is one thing and what that person then says to some one else is another thing , she can say she likes me , but if I talk to her an putzz myzzz movezzzz on her and she doesn't belive what I'm saying because she doesn't have that confidence to belive what I'm saying is true , I don't want to go in all guns blazing, as I'm trying to do it right , and I guess I've never been in a situation where some one has had "issues" and I'm trying to be respectful I guess ?? As I want her to be comfortable

 

Thanks for your reply

[AspenBaldwin]

I know right? It's quite hard to date us shy ones. I myself can't take a compliment!Never! Never! Ever! The few times I got sth nice said about me I hated it so much! I felt he was just saying that because he kinda had to, but not because he meant it. Be patient if you really like her.

[Randall13]

I know right? It's quite hard to date us shy ones. I myself can't take a compliment!Never! Never! Ever! The few times I got sth nice said about me I hated it so much! I felt he was just saying that because he kinda had to, but not because he meant it. Be patient if you really like her.

 

Thank you for your words , I'll see what happens on Monday I guess and gauge the situation

[kassy]

Ok but I'm not saying go shag her rotten I'm saying ask her out for a glass of wine at a lovely cafe and then I don't know mini golf or something haha

 

If she says no you have your answer. If she says yes then go out with her and be patient and take it at a speed she is comfort with

[Glitters]

But you do flirt with others as well and probably in front of her as well ? Well then, when you are flirting with others, they too are getting your full attention , aren't they ?

 

It amazes me , all the time , his it's easy to find a flaw in the person one is dating or interested in , and easier to ignore or downplay own wrongs.