Fortysome Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Ok so I was dating a woman for one year. It ended in august. I'm a nutshell I was crazy about her. It felt she was more crazy about the money I spent on her (crazy money, whatever number you have un mind it is way bigger) than me. She was not affectionate, not very sexual, but we got along otherwise very very good and had fun together. I was in love with her and she ended it because she said we were different, I wanted someone lovey dover who like sex and she was not that person. OK so we had no contact for over a month then she contacts me with simple texts. I am thrilled that she is initiating contact so we exchange texts then she hits me up to buy her some shoes for 3k and I comply, then she hits me up for 10k for her business and I comply. Then we exchange more texts and we set a date and that date was today. During our date we had usual small talk and I mentioned I was at a concert last week and she asks me "who did you go with"? and I did not want to make for an awkward situation so I told her I went with a friend but the truth is I went on a date. One of our problems was that early on she caught me lying a fee times. I never cheated on her but I kept things from her that I knew would bother her so there was a trust issue and it was deserved. OK so now I want to go forward honestly with her and not ever lie about things again. But I have dated a lot during this last 2 months, but I love this girl. Do I tell her i have dated? Do I tell her "we are broken up, I loved our one date and would love to date you and see you more, but the fact is we are not in a relationship with each other and if and until that happens, I am dating". A side note, with most woman I am much more of a nice alpha light type male. With this woman she turned me in to a total whipped beta. Part of me thinks if she knows I am dating she will respect me.more and part of me thinks it will blow my chances with her. Also don't know if it matters but she is 28 and I am 45. Link to post Share on other sites
dumbass2 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Um, not sure what else to say other than she does just like you for your money. You're 45, so I'm sure you can see this, but because she is quite a bit younger than you and money seems to be no object, you are just trying to buy her love and affection and I'm afraid it's just not going to work that way. You're spending all that money and she's not even being that affectionate with you. What does that tell you? If you want to continue to just keep her in your life while you buy her things and she can give her affection to a younger man, then proceed forward. Also, it is not the age difference alone that is the problem, it's the fact that you feel you need to spend lavishly on her and the two combined spell disaster for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fortysome Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 I want to stop spending on her I do, because unlike other woman, spending money on this one makes me feel terrible. I have dated many younger woman and most don't ask for anything at all except a nice fun time at nice places. This one is different. She asks me for the most inappropriately expensive things. I should be mad, but when she give me her puppy dog eyes, I just want to give her the world. Its like my head tells me she is using me but my heart says "but what if she is not". Usually I am the one being chased and running for the hills. This time I am the one chasing after someone that is always just beyond my reach. I guess it's what I deserve. So stop spending money on her and tell her I'm dating? Or don't tell her? Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 You should stop talking to her all together your entire relationship to her is about money something she is still able to get from you while not being your partner so there's no point in getting back together with you even for the money because you're giving it to her anyway. Shes playing you for a fool. Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 You don't need to stop spending money on her. Not important either way. Money is nothing to get too hung up on. But you should just tell her the truth. Being straightforward is a good way to live, it feels good and it's easy to do. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 You are not a man to her. You are a walking ATM machine that she has wrapped around her finger. She doesn't care about you. She doesn't care that you are dating other women. She cares that you are giving her money. When the money stops she will disappear. Based on your post I can't help but wonder if you have the word "sucker" stamped across your forehead. There is no upside whatsoever for you to keep this gold-digger in your life. You said yourself she was neither affectionate nor sexual with you. Link to post Share on other sites
mattelipstick Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I don't think it matters much. Frankly -- based on what you've posted, you spending $$ on her and still dating others is probably her ideal situation. That way, she gets what she wants from the situation with none of the obligation. Link to post Share on other sites
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