Hurra Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Hi all Looking for some advice. I'm back on the dating scene after being separated for many months. There is a woman at work who I am really interested in. She's in a different department / floor so I don't see her most days. But she knows who I am, we have talked on occasion over the years, and I know she likes me on some level. I did get up the courage one day to go by her office, talk to her, and asked if she would want to catch up after work some day over coffee. When I asked I was nervous as hell, she must have sensed it. lol Her response was 'Absolutely!' with a great smile. I thought that was a good sign. My plan was to put the ball in her court and I said great, email me with a day that works for you. Probably not a good move in hindsight, but I wanted to gauge her interest. I should have proposed a day/time then. Weeks went by and nothing. So I emailed her as a follow up, saying we didn't meet up after, how about next week some day after work. She said her evenings were busy all next week, how about the cafeteria some day. So I agreed of course thinking she is now just humoring me. So we agreed to a time for 30 min. I was dreading it figuring it would be me pulling teeth to get her to talk. But it was the opposite, it was a great conversation and mostly not work related. I was on a natural high for days after. I want to ask her to hang out again, that I'm just enjoying getting out and socializing etc (she knows I'm separated) and she is pleasant company. So two things....I just know from experience if I am on a first (online) date, and not into the person, I'll still have a pleasant conversation. So I'm not sure how much I can read into the great conversation we had; and is another email asking to go out again a wimpy way or the norm nowadays? To go by her office again is sort of pushing it I think. If I saw her in a bar somewhere (and I have a couple of times), I wouldn't hesitate. But I may not see her at a bar for months. Any thoughts? Do you think she thought this was just two colleagues chatting or by me asking, is it obvious to her I am interested? Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Hi all Looking for some advice. I'm back on the dating scene after being separated for many months. There is a woman at work who I am really interested in. She's in a different department / floor so I don't see her most days. But she knows who I am, we have talked on occasion over the years, and I know she likes me on some level. I did get up the courage one day to go by her office, talk to her, and asked if she would want to catch up after work some day over coffee. When I asked I was nervous as hell, she must have sensed it. lol Her response was 'Absolutely!' with a great smile. I thought that was a good sign. My plan was to put the ball in her court and I said great, email me with a day that works for you. Probably not a good move in hindsight, but I wanted to gauge her interest. I should have proposed a day/time then. Weeks went by and nothing. So I emailed her as a follow up, saying we didn't meet up after, how about next week some day after work. She said her evenings were busy all next week, how about the cafeteria some day. So I agreed of course thinking she is now just humoring me. So we agreed to a time for 30 min. I was dreading it figuring it would be me pulling teeth to get her to talk. But it was the opposite, it was a great conversation and mostly not work related. I was on a natural high for days after. I want to ask her to hang out again, that I'm just enjoying getting out and socializing etc (she knows I'm separated) and she is pleasant company. So two things....I just know from experience if I am on a first (online) date, and not into the person, I'll still have a pleasant conversation. So I'm not sure how much I can read into the great conversation we had; and is another email asking to go out again a wimpy way or the norm nowadays? To go by her office again is sort of pushing it I think. If I saw her in a bar somewhere (and I have a couple of times), I wouldn't hesitate. But I may not see her at a bar for months. Any thoughts? Do you think she thought this was just two colleagues chatting or by me asking, is it obvious to her I am interested? I am a for dating at work. My dad and uncle met their wives where they worked. Same for a friend of mine. My son maybe marrying the girl he worked with. I met my wife on the commuter train. However all the above men were single and eligible to date. You are not single. Get your divorce done first. A smart man never puts the wagon in front of the horse. Link to post Share on other sites
Stage5Clinger Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 The last girl I really, really liked decided it's okay to go to lunch with me but refused to hang out after work with me. That was because she had a boyfriend that she never told me about. Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 So two things....I just know from experience if I am on a first (online) date, and not into the person, I'll still have a pleasant conversation. So I'm not sure how much I can read into the great conversation we had; and is another email asking to go out again a wimpy way or the norm nowadays? To go by her office again is sort of pushing it I think. IME here goes..... - If you're feeling it and you're picking up she's feeling it. Then 99.999% chance you are right. Feeling someone's vibe/intuition/gut reaction is a thing. But we all tend to explain it away afterwards with logic. That's why it's important not to leave long lags between seeing each other. Not because she'll lose it but because you'll second guess it constantly and do what you're doing right now. - Why is following up in person where you can accurately gauge the reaction 'pushing it'? Dude, it's a vibe thing here. Go to her office, ask her out again and if she gives you the cold shoulder THEN you can come on here and post about how you read too much into things. But not before.... Now....off with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hurra Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 I am a for dating at work. My dad and uncle met their wives where they worked. Same for a friend of mine. My son maybe marrying the girl he worked with. I met my wife on the commuter train. However all the above men were single and eligible to date. You are not single. Get your divorce done first. A smart man never puts the wagon in front of the horse. The separation is official, assets are divided, the house is officially mine, and we don't speak to each other anymore. There is a trust with my lawyer to handle the divorce in February which at this point is a technicality. In Canada, you have to wait one year after separating to get a divorce. There is no reason why I can't date right now. I refrained from dating during the separation until that was official. Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 The separation is official, assets are divided, the house is officially mine, and we don't speak to each other anymore. There is a trust with my lawyer to handle the divorce in February which at this point is a technicality. In Canada, you have to wait one year after separating to get a divorce. There is no reason why I can't date right now. I refrained from dating during the separation until that was official. You are legally separated so you are free and available to date...that's what separated means. It's hard to read fo workers and their level of interest. Some refuse to date coworkers. Link to post Share on other sites
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