sin miedo Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hey guys, I've been dating this girl for about three weeks now and gone on 5 dates. Everything has been running smoothly and there definitely is a mutual attraction. One thing that's been on my mind lately is that she is always the one to initiate conversation via text. I'm not really one for small talk and have a pretty busy lifestyle, so I've only been using texting to set up dates. She seems to really like texting me about random stuff in the evenings, and while I always reciprocate and keep the conversation rolling, I never actually start them. Should I feel obligated to start a conversation every now and then? I don't want her to get the wrong impression that I'm using her just to set up the next booty call (haven't had sex yet, but you get the point), because I like her a lot and could see this going somewhere. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If you feel bad about it, then yes by all means text her. A lot of women tend to like texting just to be chatty. A lot of us tend to not understand that men aren't really into that sort of thing. But yes, if you feel bad or like you might be sending off a "just in it for sex" vibe, then it's within your power to change the tone of the conversation. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie4 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 You have to just be yourself. I don't like text, and if I must text (spend a lot of time pressing out little letters on a dumb phone) to please someone, I will feel drained by the relationship. Tell her how you feel (what you told us). That's better communication than text chit chat. Link to post Share on other sites
usernametaken Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hey guys, I've been dating this girl for about three weeks now and gone on 5 dates. Everything has been running smoothly and there definitely is a mutual attraction. One thing that's been on my mind lately is that she is always the one to initiate conversation via text. I'm not really one for small talk and have a pretty busy lifestyle, so I've only been using texting to set up dates. She seems to really like texting me about random stuff in the evenings, and while I always reciprocate and keep the conversation rolling, I never actually start them. Should I feel obligated to start a conversation every now and then? I don't want her to get the wrong impression that I'm using her just to set up the next booty call (haven't had sex yet, but you get the point), because I like her a lot and could see this going somewhere. Maybe just set up a pattern of texting a good morning, an afternoon "how's your day going?" and a goodnight. Something to let her know you're thinking about her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hey guys, I've been dating this girl for about three weeks now and gone on 5 dates. Everything has been running smoothly and there definitely is a mutual attraction. One thing that's been on my mind lately is that she is always the one to initiate conversation via text. I'm not really one for small talk and have a pretty busy lifestyle, so I've only been using texting to set up dates. She seems to really like texting me about random stuff in the evenings, and while I always reciprocate and keep the conversation rolling, I never actually start them. Should I feel obligated to start a conversation every now and then? I don't want her to get the wrong impression that I'm using her just to set up the next booty call (haven't had sex yet, but you get the point), because I like her a lot and could see this going somewhere. You should call her at least once between dates to set up the next one and some texting in between. If you don't do any initiating, she feels like she's doing all the work and you're taking a back seat. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 You don't have to do a 180 of your total personality and habits but perhaps there are times within the day that something you see or do makes you think of her or she crosses your mind? Something you think she would think was funny or mention something to do in the future? I agree with whoever said just to check in and say : how's your day going? She's probably more chatty than you (at least by text) and will be enthusiastic back. I wouldn't underestimate that never initiating won't let doubt creep in on her end. It's a hard thing to understand since we are different than you guys why you wouldn't do it. Some of us can even understand logically and rationally but feel let down because it seems like the effort we are putting into the connection isn't working. It couldn't hurt to also tell her in person and light, playful way, sweet way that you appreciate her texts and that she is SO much better about it than you are and that you are working on it. It will serve kind of as a sweet warning that this is not your strong suit but that you do appreciate her and you care. Well say something to that effect. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jam.over.jelly Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 You def should feel guilty. If I were her, I would totally think you are not interested. Good for you unlike me, she actually takes the initiative to reach out to you all the time. If it were up to me, there would probably be zero communication at all if I reach out once or twice and you don't start initiating. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 What if she stopped initiating? Which she might. I have read alot of advice right here on LS where girls are told that if a guy is "that into her" he will let her know by contact her. Within reason of course!! Link to post Share on other sites
usernametaken Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I think women are often put off by a guy who doesn't initiate texts much, if at all, because it's such a small thing they could do that could pay huge dividends. If you like her, let her know you're thinking about her every once in a while. It's worth the minimal effort involved. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I'm not really one for small talk and have a pretty busy lifestyle Too busy to text her but not busy enough to go onto a forum to ask a silly question. No one is "too busy"! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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