GooseChaser Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Say on a date someone asks you what your deepest darkest secret is. On what date would you feel comfortable fully answering this honestly, or that it was wise to? Before that time would you give a watered-down answer or prefer not to answer at all? This is just a question that came to me and I'm not totally sure how I'd handle it yet. I think I'd probably attempt to answer since they asked.... Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 If anyone would still date you after knowing your deepest, darkest secret, you need to get out a live a little. Congratulations on being the least messed up person here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GooseChaser Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 (edited) xD So people just don't ask that question or what? (I didn't say I wasn't messed up tho D: ) Edited August 2, 2015 by GooseChaser Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 If you revealed your deepest darkest secret, then it wouldn't be a secret any more ! But if anyone asked me that on a date I would tell them MYOB ! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GooseChaser Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 (edited) Oh the technicalities So is it more of a relationship question or... just something you don't ask anyone in general? My social awkwardness is showing... hmm :[ Edited August 2, 2015 by GooseChaser Link to post Share on other sites
Iron Bubba Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 There are some things I can not tell my closest friends let alone some strange girl on the first date or someone I just met. Sorry, but no way in hell. I have trust issues because I've been through a lot of abusive crap in my life, and I now consider most people incapable of understanding the things I'm going through because, well, they are imbeciles. I'm sorry if that offends you. Yes I know some people will get mad at that and go on with their usual junk of "no that isn't true" blah blah blah.... but they really don't understand and really just don't care to because they're wrapped up in themselves and only care about validating themselves. A lot of people are very insecure and fearful of others who are different than them and can only find validation when people are the same as them. Plus there is an awful lot of Jungian behavior on the internet, that is, the id, ego, and superego thang going on. Every time i try to be honest with people they always react with nothing but vitriol. No, it's best to just keep things to yourself. people are just incapable of understanding. For instance, a female friend of mine was on a board. she is a staunch Christian who is prejudiced against homosexuals. When someone asked about it, the only thing she said was she was very prejudiced againsy homosexuals, and that's it. Everybody wigged out at that one simple statement. They started insulting her to no end and she fought them every step of the way. they outright told her that she had to shut up and not defend herself in any way. The more she defied them, the angrier they got. They just could not see where she was coming from and they eventually banned her from the board outright. She just made an honest statement. She wasn't being purposefully insulting as in saying something akin to "I think all homosexuals are indecent degenerate creatures". The only thing she said was she was very prejudiced against homosexuals, and that was it. And that is the typical of people. I got banned from a board within two posts for saying that I personally believe that pro lifers are more hypocritical than pro choices because God kills babies too and sanctions abortions in the Bible. So God is not pro life. That's the typical reaction i get WHENEVER I am honest with someone. So no. You can not be honest in this world. You have to lie to survive. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GooseChaser Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 (edited) Well I have officially been saved from some future awkwardness and doom. Thanks Loveshack! Haha! Thanks for all of the input so far! I appreciate it! Avoid the question it is. Edited August 2, 2015 by GooseChaser 2 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I would probably assume they are joking to my social skills are not quite there either lol, they're asking for you to tell an interesting story i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 No, I would not share that with a date. And I'd also find it an inappropriate question, to be honest. Revealing a truly personal piece of information is something I don't take lightly and I'd first need to establish a relationship built on trust before divulging something I deemed a deep secret. It's not early-relationship-stages conversation material. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Well I have officially been saved from some future awkwardness and doom. Thanks Loveshack! Haha! Thanks for all of the input so far! I appreciate it! Avoid the question it is. I just cannot stress this enough. On a first date, really? That even crossed your mind? Dude, never ask any personal questions on a first date. Also, just to add, there are honestly some things you just don't want to know, ever. For me, I never ask nor will I answer "how many people have slept with?" Date me for a years and you won't get answer and I never, ever ask these type of questions. Omg, one way or another, the answer is bound to haunt me. Dude, trust me, you don't even want to know the answer to these types of things. Let the past be the past. If you have any concerns about someones sexual history, it's "when was your last std test and would you like to go take one together?" and that's that. Besides, 90 something percent of us are going our grave with our deepest darkest secrets. First date? dude, we aren't even gonna give it up on our deathbed. Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Awkward question. I'd most probably say "why do you need to know?" short of f*** off. Its a question that would put most people on the defensive I reckon. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 (edited) I'd tell them a long and twisted fictional story about how I once killed my aunty because she gave me a bad xmas. I would go into detail about how hard it is to dispose of a body blah blah blah. Taste of their own medicine - I'd show them the meaning of inappropriate...for my own entertainment mostly. Edited August 2, 2015 by almond I probably wouldn't have the nerve to do any of the above, but I like to think that I would ;) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Vercetti Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Well one time killed someone for asking a stupid question, anything else want to know? Link to post Share on other sites
blueskyday Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I would probably respond with, "I need a whole lot more time and vodka before we get into that." Really, it's a way to create a false sense of intimacy to ask someone new that question. It's fair game once in an established relationship with real intimacy. Of course, if the deep dark secret is drug use or prison time, or anything that would impact their decision to date you, then you must disclose very early on. Past abuse or stupid decisions could be disclosed when comfortable and in a relationship where there is trust and a possible future. Love is someone loving you when you think they wouldn't if only they knew _____ (blank) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GooseChaser Posted August 2, 2015 Author Share Posted August 2, 2015 (edited) @Herenotthere, yes, I try to keep it light on first dates, for sure. @Vercetti, no one died for asking a stupid-- oh wait nvm (I'm sure they have though actually, just not SUPER common) Edited August 2, 2015 by GooseChaser Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Say on a date someone asks you what your deepest darkest secret is. On what date would you feel comfortable fully answering this honestly, or that it was wise to? Before that time would you give a watered-down answer or prefer not to answer at all? This is just a question that came to me and I'm not totally sure how I'd handle it yet. I think I'd probably attempt to answer since they asked....\ I wouldn't be telling anyone that kind of thing if I'm just dating them. Those are the things that are part of a relationship. At best, I would share somethings with a partner with whom I am at least exclusive with but talking about moving to the next level at least. Dating should be light and upbeat allowing for comfort levels to grow. If I forced myself to reveal those kinds of things to someone I was only dating, I wouldn't trust them enough to respect the degree of intimacy that was required to do that. I would view that kind of question from a man as intrusive and inappropriate. Not only that, it tips your hand. A "smart" guy would then know what some of your emotional buttons are and play on them. Trust needs to be built on. If a guy asked me that on a date, I'd make light of it by saying something like "If I told you that I'd have to kill you :)" or "well, let's just say that my my government clearance contract prevents me from revealing details that may jeopardize the person I'm telling secrets to. . ." Basically, telling them it's none of their business . . . . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 I'd laugh if asked that question, and make something up. Why the hell would anyone tell a virtual stranger something so private? Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 Wouldn't and couldn't tell, but I bet I could come up with a fantastic story. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted August 2, 2015 Share Posted August 2, 2015 "what's your deepest darkest secret" "well....I've never told anyone this before but....*lean in closer and speak in a hushed voice* there is a skeleton inside of me. Pretty spooky...." Link to post Share on other sites
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