The one who got away

[Mx12345]

I "dated" a guy for four months late last year. I use the term dated loosely because for the first two and a half months we only saw each other casually, every week and a half. Slowly, we started spending more time together and doing more couple-like things. After two and a half months I started to really like him. We had the same outlook on life, were very compatible, and he had many of the qualities I was looking for in another person. I knew however, he was an eternal bachelor type so I didn't give him an ultimatum or anything. I just said I wanted to pursue looking for something more serious. He said he really did like me and we decided to date exclusively. Things were good for about a month but right before Christmas I noticed him becoming very distant. I wouldn't hear from him everyday and dates were never planned in advance if at all. I saw him once in two weeks. After not hearing from him over Christmas I decided I didn't want to be on the other end of a slow fade out. I told him our situation wasn't working anymore and I didn't think we should see each other. He waited awhile to respond to my text (he was out of town for Christmas) but his response was very sincere. He said he did really like me, he just wasn't ready to be in a committed relationship and he knew that's where I was headed. He kept stressing how much he liked me though, how he respected me, thought I was amazing, how I was different from other girls he has dated in the past. He just wasn't ready to be serious. With a heavy heart I ended it.

 

Almost eight months later I still think about him all the time. A guy I barely dated for four months. I've dated since then too. But he's always there, in the back of my mind. A few weeks ago I got curious and found him on Facebook. There's a girl who tags him in pictures since February. His profile doesn't say he's in a relationship and neither does hers but I know that doesn't mean anything. It would seem he spends a lot of time with her and that they are dating. However I've been on and off of Tinder three times in the past eight months and each time I've been on he's come up with recent activity of a day or a few hours. The most recent time I found him was a month ago. So even if he is dating her they are obviously not exclusive.

 

The other part to this story is his communication. We had no contact for the first two months. Then one day he texted me. Something random, about my favorite sports team. Now it seems I hear from him every three weeks or so. It's always friendly. Something will remind him of me and he will message me. He sent me a picture of him eating cheesecake bc he remembered it was my favorite. He'll screen shot news stories about my favorite sports teams. He talked about landscaping his backyard when we dated and he texted me when he actually did it. I don't get it. I've dated guys and ended things because I just wasn't feeling it. Maybe something will remind me of them here or there but I never feel the urge to contact them. He added me on snapchat two months ago. We always talked about social media when dating but never added each other to anything. I've never been the first to message him, ever. I always respond though and am friendly back. The most recent time he messaged me was the strangest. He said he had been out fishing with a few of his friends. He said they asked him something and I was his answer. I asked him "what did they ask you?" He said, "it's not important, I just really feel the need to tell you how amazing of a woman you are." The conversation ended with that.

 

 

Does anyone have any thoughts or opinions? I'm not putting my life on hold for this guy, but I admit I probably think about him way too often. Should I flat out ask him, why does he still contact me, eight months later? Should I let this whole thing go? I've never been in so much contact with someone I've ended things with.

[Gaeta]

oh sweetie, if you were THAT amazing to HIM he would be with you.

 

He's bored that's why he's randomly entertaining you.

[nadine5]

I "dated" a guy for four months late last year. I use the term dated loosely because for the first two and a half months we only saw each other casually, every week and a half. Slowly, we started spending more time together and doing more couple-like things. After two and a half months I started to really like him. We had the same outlook on life, were very compatible, and he had many of the qualities I was looking for in another person. I knew however, he was an eternal bachelor type so I didn't give him an ultimatum or anything. I just said I wanted to pursue looking for something more serious. He said he really did like me and we decided to date exclusively. Things were good for about a month but right before Christmas I noticed him becoming very distant. I wouldn't hear from him everyday and dates were never planned in advance if at all. I saw him once in two weeks. After not hearing from him over Christmas I decided I didn't want to be on the other end of a slow fade out. I told him our situation wasn't working anymore and I didn't think we should see each other. He waited awhile to respond to my text (he was out of town for Christmas) but his response was very sincere. He said he did really like me, he just wasn't ready to be in a committed relationship and he knew that's where I was headed. He kept stressing how much he liked me though, how he respected me, thought I was amazing, how I was different from other girls he has dated in the past. He just wasn't ready to be serious. With a heavy heart I ended it.

 

Almost eight months later I still think about him all the time. A guy I barely dated for four months. I've dated since then too. But he's always there, in the back of my mind. A few weeks ago I got curious and found him on Facebook. There's a girl who tags him in pictures since February. His profile doesn't say he's in a relationship and neither does hers but I know that doesn't mean anything. It would seem he spends a lot of time with her and that they are dating. However I've been on and off of Tinder three times in the past eight months and each time I've been on he's come up with recent activity of a day or a few hours. The most recent time I found him was a month ago. So even if he is dating her they are obviously not exclusive.

 

The other part to this story is his communication. We had no contact for the first two months. Then one day he texted me. Something random, about my favorite sports team. Now it seems I hear from him every three weeks or so. It's always friendly. Something will remind him of me and he will message me. He sent me a picture of him eating cheesecake bc he remembered it was my favorite. He'll screen shot news stories about my favorite sports teams. He talked about landscaping his backyard when we dated and he texted me when he actually did it. I don't get it. I've dated guys and ended things because I just wasn't feeling it. Maybe something will remind me of them here or there but I never feel the urge to contact them. He added me on snapchat two months ago. We always talked about social media when dating but never added each other to anything. I've never been the first to message him, ever. I always respond though and am friendly back. The most recent time he messaged me was the strangest. He said he had been out fishing with a few of his friends. He said they asked him something and I was his answer. I asked him "what did they ask you?" He said, "it's not important, I just really feel the need to tell you how amazing of a woman you are." The conversation ended with that.

 

 

Does anyone have any thoughts or opinions? I'm not putting my life on hold for this guy, but I admit I probably think about him way too often. Should I flat out ask him, why does he still contact me, eight months later? Should I let this whole thing go? I've never been in so much contact with someone I've ended things with.

 

 

Ugh. Sounds like he's bored in yet another relationship that's going nowhere (doesn't sound like he wants to be serious with this chick that he's dating either) and he wants some attention. I could be wrong. Don't get your hopes up, though.