disneyfan90 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 (edited) I work with a guy who is very quiet. He really doesn't talk unless he has to, but over the past year, he and I have gotten into some pretty deep conversations. In fact, he tells me that I'm one of the few people in the office that he's gotten somewhat close to. We both have quiet, introverted personalities and I think that similarity is what's allowed us to form a friendship. Unfortunately, this closeness has caused me to develop strong feelings for him. Since I work with him, I never had any intention of dating him. The other thing is that I am in my mid-20s and he is in his late 30s--I'd always prefer to date someone who is closer to my age. In an attempt to ward off these feelings, I've started to keep my distance from him. We haven't spoken much in the past 2 months or so. A few days ago, a bunch of my work friends and I went to happy hour and he was there. Two of his close friends teased him about this girl he might be dating--he didn't confirm that he's dating anyone but he didn't deny it either. It really surprised me as to how much that bothered me. It didn't really help that every now and then he would look at me and ask if I was feeling okay--it just reminded me of how caring he is. That night, I went home and nearly cried. The next few days were so miserable that I thought I might be suffering from depression--I couldn't do anything productive. Every waking moment was painful for me. I now want to go out and do fun things, but I just feel like I've lost interest. It feels like everything from getting out of bed in the morning to going to work takes enormous effort on my part. I know this is an extreme reaction. I never dated the guy and never had any intention of it, which is why I am surprised at how awful I feel. The only other time I have been this upset was when my first ex-bf and I broke up 4 years ago. Since then, I have dated a few guys but my feelings were never this strong. In fact, after every breakup I'd bounce right back within 2 days as though nothing ever happened. I think I'm mostly upset because I haven't felt this way in four whole years. I feel like I may never find someone I have such strong feelings for. What are some good ways to get my mind off of him? Edited July 5, 2015 by disneyfan90 Link to post Share on other sites
confuseacat Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 (edited) The only thing I could suggest is what I'm thinking of doing myself and that's dating other people, or if not, then getting busy with other interests and doing things you enjoy to make you feel better and just trust the feelings will fade with time. You are pretty much guaranteed to get over it eventually. I also have feelings for a guy I work with..it doesn't look like anything is going to happen there and I actually did have a big old cry about it, that's one of the ways I seem to process emotions. It sucks because I also don't meet that many guys that I have these sorts of feelings for, so when I do I tend to get my hopes up, but I was reading recently it is actually ok to get excited about things that you aren't sure are going to eventuate, because that is one of the enjoyable parts of life...anticipation and hope. Edited July 5, 2015 by confuseacat Link to post Share on other sites
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