Manbrodude26 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) I met a woman through an online dating site, we have been seeing each other for about a month. Before I met her she told me she has not slept with anyone in 2 years, she mainly focuses on taking care of her daughter, and she rarely goes out to drink any more. She told me she is mainly interested in meeting older friends who didn't live in this small ****ty town we live in. She told me she is always attracted to "bad boys" or projects.. I told her I am a good guy, a really good ****ing guy with "bad boy" tendencies which is true. She tells me she needs to hide me around her daughter for now Our texts before meeting went pretty well, nothing too crazy or sexual. So my first time meeting her, I went over to her house she cooked dinner, we talked on her couch for a couple hours (mainly me asking questions) then she grabbed my hand and took me to the bedroom we had sex.. And I gave her the worst sex I have ever done lol.. She kept calling me back, I have been giving her good sex, after a few more "dates" in the bedroom she asks me "what are we doing?" .. I told her I was open to a relationship but not 100% yet, she told me we could just enjoy each other's company and see where it goes.. Fast forward a few dates, she's talking about the future, brings her daughter over, maybe a little clingy at times, brings her massage table over and tell me I am the only guy to ever get this treatment from her. She almost always answers texts quick at work, she initiates most of the texting. Yesterday she was distant, first time she never texted good morning, or good night.. Today she texts "Good morning " we talk .. She says she was up waiting for me to come over but I never did.. She is distant most of the day.. So I decide to be spontaneous. So after work I text her and tell her I am coming over, no reply.. I get to her house and her vehicle is gone.. So I call her, it's almost 12am.. No answer.. She always answers phone right away at night when I come over, even if she is asleep. She has yet to call, I am curious to see what her story is tomorrow.. I'm not go to grill her or keep calling.. Just see what she has to say.. I apologize for making this so long. Edited July 3, 2015 by Manbrodude26 error Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Ahhh, the old cat and mouse game. You're not too interested until she makes herself unavailable - then you're curious and interested again. I'm not sure what your question is, but I'm assuming she makes a habit of going to bed with pretty much anyone she's just met for the first time. Surely you don't think you're the first one she's done this with? Maybe she met some other guy on the dating site and was out with him. I hope you're using protection and lots of it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 (edited) That's the thing, I genuinely believe her when she told me she has not had sex in 2 years, she does not party or go out.. She works, and takes care of her daughter.. She deleted her profile after we started seeing each other.. She even went and got tested for STD's and showed me the results. On the other hand, I saw her working the bar in the strip club here years ago.. And she slept with me almost right away.. I guess I am quite charming, but I don't think it is her first time having sex right away.. After sex.. We both discussed it and we both think it's not a good idea to withhold sex for too long.. We talked about experience, she told me she has only had 2 one night stands My question is, based on the information I have provided What would you think, and how would you react after seeing her gone late at night? Edited July 3, 2015 by Manbrodude26 add Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 manbrodude26, I really don't see what your problem is here? You told her you weren't ready for a relationship and didn't want to be exclusive with her, so who cares what she does in her spare time ? She could be visiting a sick relative out of town or she could be $h@gging the entire local football team. Either way it's not your business and she's not answerable to you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I met a woman through an online dating site, we have been seeing each other for about a month. Before I met her she told me she has not slept with anyone in 2 years, she mainly focuses on taking care of her daughter, and she rarely goes out to drink any more. She told me she is mainly interested in meeting older friends who didn't live in this small ****ty town we live in. She told me she is always attracted to "bad boys" or projects.. I told her I am a good guy, a really good ****ing guy with "bad boy" tendencies which is true. She tells me she needs to hide me around her daughter for now Our texts before meeting went pretty well, nothing too crazy or sexual. So my first time meeting her, I went over to her house she cooked dinner, we talked on her couch for a couple hours (mainly me asking questions) then she grabbed my hand and took me to the bedroom we had sex.. And I gave her the worst sex I have ever done lol.. She kept calling me back, I have been giving her good sex, after a few more "dates" in the bedroom she asks me "what are we doing?" .. I told her I was open to a relationship but not 100% yet, she told me we could just enjoy each other's company and see where it goes.. Fast forward a few dates, she's talking about the future, brings her daughter over, maybe a little clingy at times, brings her massage table over and tell me I am the only guy to ever get this treatment from her. She almost always answers texts quick at work, she initiates most of the texting. Yesterday she was distant, first time she never texted good morning, or good night.. Today she texts "Good morning " we talk .. She says she was up waiting for me to come over but I never did.. She is distant most of the day.. So I decide to be spontaneous. So after work I text her and tell her I am coming over, no reply.. I get to her house and her vehicle is gone.. So I call her, it's almost 12am.. No answer.. She always answers phone right away at night when I come over, even if she is asleep. She has yet to call, I am curious to see what her story is tomorrow.. I'm not go to grill her or keep calling.. Just see what she has to say.. I apologize for making this so long. She says she was up waiting for me to come over but I never did. -- Is it possible she's pissed off about this? So I decide to be spontaneous. So after work I text her and tell her I am coming over, no reply -- So basically you showed up unannounced at her house and without knowing if she was home or not. That is a tiny bit stalkerish and maybe a little clingy/needy? It is none of your business what she is or has been doing. Perhaps since she had sex with you after a two year dry spell and now realizes what she's been missing . . . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 There are a lot of red flags here OP. I agree with the others as well. You could of went to her place and found her w/another date. You're not exclusive. I think you should go radio silence for now. See if she contacts you again. Then, let her know you stopped by and she wasn't home and see what she says. Take it from there. I personally wouldn't contact anyone I was dating if they suddenly got flaky and didn't respond to texts. To me and most others, it an obvious sign of losing interest or there true personalities are showing. I have zero patience for stupid games. Suddenly not responding to texts or calls on a regular basis is rude and childish and a deal breaker for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 Well, she's probably just busy or mad at you, but if she is dating someone else why not, since you are not ready yet. She does sound in a bit of a hurry to get into a committed relationship, but lots of women are. Before you do that, find out how bad her financial situation is because it's probably not great but just make sure it's not a bunch of debt she's looking for a spouse to bail her out on or something monetary like that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 That's the thing, I genuinely believe her when she told me she has not had sex in 2 years, she does not party or go out.. She works, and takes care of her daughter.. I don't beleive her. I don't party, never did, I don't go out, I am home most nights yet I got plenty of fun. She deleted her profile after we started seeing each other.. She even went and got tested for STD's and showed me the results. * When I delete my profile it's because I got more prospects than I can handle. I have at least 4 to 6 contacts I am working on. * People that aren't in casual sex don't think of getting std tested and carrying their results with them. On the other hand, I saw her working the bar in the strip club here years ago.. And she slept with me almost right away.. I guess I am quite charming, but I don't think it is her first time having sex right away.. There you go... After sex.. We both discussed it and we both think it's not a good idea to withhold sex for too long.. We talked about experience, she told me she has only had 2 one night stands. Sure possible but ONS don't count men she had sex with 2-3 times than moved to next. True one night stands with men you've never met and won't meet again are rarer. So when she says she only had 2 ONS she is not including guys she called back and saw a couple of times only. My question is, based on the information I have provided What would you think, and how would you react after seeing her gone late at night? You are not entitled to react or say anything. You are not a couple and you both agreed you are not in a relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I don't beleive her. I don't party, never did, I don't go out, I am home most nights yet I got plenty of fun. * When I delete my profile it's because I got more prospects than I can handle. I have at least 4 to 6 contacts I am working on. * People that aren't in casual sex don't think of getting std tested and carrying their results with them. There you go... Sure possible but ONS don't count men she had sex with 2-3 times than moved to next. True one night stands with men you've never met and won't meet again are rarer. So when she says she only had 2 ONS she is not including guys she called back and saw a couple of times only. You are not entitled to react or say anything. You are not a couple and you both agreed you are not in a relationship. ^^This .....plus she realized SHE was more into you and the *relationship* than YOU are, and as a result is pulling back... Does it bother you that she has pulled back? Do something about it.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Carla B Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 "She says she was up waiting for me to come over but I never did." Uh... thats why she is probably pissed at you. She sent you a whole bunch of messages you look at it like she was clingy/desperate but as soon as she is unavailable now you are interested? LOL I suggest you just see how she is doing and then go from there. I would apologize for now showing up..... Also you randomly showing up....at her house is kinda clingy to my friend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 I forgot to mention one crucial detail she has two cars, so she may have lent her car to her little brother or someone else. She gave me a key to her house the second time I saw her. And also said just to call her and wake her up at night after work if I want to come see her (we work different hours) She got tested for STD's because we talked about it before we had sex, and we both said we're clean. I told her about a girl who lied to me last year about being clean and I caught clymidia from her. She works at an urgent care and is very knowledgeable about the body, she was 100% sure she was clean but got tested to reassure me, and also got on birth control. She also asked me if I wanted to back out of a relationship before she introduced her daughter, and when we first had sex she told me she is very monogamous and will only see one person at a time. She text this morning "Morning, sorry fell asleep wasn't sure if you were coming over or not" I think I will go silent and just see where things go.. I am really confused now. She has had a couple days here and there where she is quiet for the most part she is very responsive every day, and tells me she is always happy to see me.. I don't know... Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 So after work I text her and tell her I am coming over, no reply.. I get to her house and her vehicle is gone.. So I call her, it's almost 12am.. No answer.. She always answers phone right away at night when I come over, even if she is asleep. She has yet to call I think I will go silent and just see where things go.. This isn't the beginning of a flourishing relationship, it's two people playing mind games with each other. If the first date sex wasn't warning enough, look at all the other potential hazards. A woman who will screw you on the first date is already questionable, when she's talking about the future and having kids with you by the third date there are serious problems here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 This isn't the beginning of a flourishing relationship, it's two people playing mind games with each other. If the first date sex wasn't warning enough, look at all the other potential hazards. A woman who will screw you on the first date is already questionable, when she's talking about the future and having kids with you by the third date there are serious problems here. I agree with the mind games, but I also think it can be a misunderstanding. We do communicate well when we talk. She told me before if I was no longer interested for any reason just to be straight forward about it. I used to think sex on the first date was slutty not so much any more, though I am shocked she would have sex with me on the first date after two years of celibacy. In which she told me she hadn't planned on doing, it just turned out that way because she doesn't go out often and didn't feel like pursuing anyone. She is a complete single parent, and was also in the process of moving into and buying her first home. She is more so talking about the near future, an extra concert ticket she has for next month. Where we would go on a trip.. She doesn't want to have another kid, which is why she got birth control.. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 She gave me a key to her house the second time I saw her. -- One thing we can see for sure, is she has poor judgement. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I agree with the mind games, but I also think it can be a misunderstanding. We do communicate well when we talk. She told me before if I was no longer interested for any reason just to be straight forward about it. I used to think sex on the first date was slutty not so much any more, though I am shocked she would have sex with me on the first date after two years of celibacy. In which she told me she hadn't planned on doing, it just turned out that way because she doesn't go out often and didn't feel like pursuing anyone. She is a complete single parent, and was also in the process of moving into and buying her first home. She is more so talking about the near future, an extra concert ticket she has for next month. Where we would go on a trip.. She doesn't want to have another kid, which is why she got birth control.. Her not replying to texts for long periods of time or a day is mind games. People LIVE with their phones next to them. I dated one girl who loved to play these stupid games. I vanished on her when she kept doing it. My current GF in 2 years has NEVER not replied to me in less than 3 hours (she was at a work meeting), even after we had an argument and she was rightfully mad at me. Mature, healthy people don't need to play those stupid games. They pick up the phone and communicate with each other. Texting has really RUINED basic communication. Texting is the lazy way to communicate and is often misinterpreted. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 Her not replying to texts for long periods of time or a day is mind games. People LIVE with their phones next to them. I dated one girl who loved to play these stupid games. I vanished on her when she kept doing it. My current GF in 2 years has NEVER not replied to me in less than 3 hours (she was at a work meeting), even after we had an argument and she was rightfully mad at me. Mature, healthy people don't need to play those stupid games. They pick up the phone and communicate with each other. Texting has really RUINED basic communication. Texting is the lazy way to communicate and is often misinterpreted. She has never really taken more than an hour or so to reply, maybe once.. But she was at work. She is on her phone much more than I am it seems.. I have taken much longer to reply when I get busy at work. Or when she is asleep she'll text me back in the AM this is normal though. I agree texting has ruined communication, and one text can be read or interpreted so many different ways. Though texting does have it's advantages. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 It sounds like one of those fast moving crash-and-burn type of relationships. It takes a couple of months to have a solid relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 She gave me a key to her house the second time I saw her. -- One thing we can see for sure, is she has poor judgement. I could not believe this either. Really in our small polluted, unemployed, druggie town.. I am a good catch lol Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 She gave me a key to her house the second time I saw her HOLY COW!! Seriously!!She gave you, a complete stranger, her key after meeting you twice! The key to where she and her DAUGHTER sleep at night. And you think this woman isn't used to having men around! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 I forgot to mention one crucial detail she has two cars, so she may have lent her car to her little brother or someone else. She gave me a key to her house the second time I saw her. And also said just to call her and wake her up at night after work if I want to come see her (we work different hours) She got tested for STD's because we talked about it before we had sex, and we both said we're clean. I told her about a girl who lied to me last year about being clean and I caught clymidia from her. She works at an urgent care and is very knowledgeable about the body, she was 100% sure she was clean but got tested to reassure me, and also got on birth control. She also asked me if I wanted to back out of a relationship before she introduced her daughter, and when we first had sex she told me she is very monogamous and will only see one person at a time. She text this morning "Morning, sorry fell asleep wasn't sure if you were coming over or not" I think I will go silent and just see where things go.. I am really confused now. She has had a couple days here and there where she is quiet for the most part she is very responsive every day, and tells me she is always happy to see me.. I don't know... This tells me she is straight up not careful enough if she gave you her key after two times. And she is contradicting herself because then she also said about introducing her kid as if you have a key didn't already give you dangerous access to her kid. I don't get it. Something is off. She's too desperate. She can't know if she likes you that well yet, so I feel there is something else you need to know. Again, find out about her finances. Find out if there's any way she could have a mental illness to explain this rashness or an addiction to explain needing someone immediately to contribute. Don't make any moves until you've known her for a year to see what's at the bottom of this! It's very rushed and you know what they say about when someone is rushing you. And meanwhile, do NOT rely on anything she says about birth control. She could just be looking for another support check from another baby daddy. Stay completely condomed up and don't believe her if she says she's got it covered. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 And meanwhile, do NOT rely on anything she says about birth control. She could just be looking for another support check from another baby daddy. Stay completely condomed up and don't believe her if she says she's got it covered. Gosh good thinking!! I was thinking who wants unprotected sex from the get go! Also birth control pills need a full month to kick in, and who knows if she is reliable to take them and of course as you mentioned could be a baby trap. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 She gave me a key so I could do laundry at her place, she left it outside for me but then told me to hold onto it. I would only go do laundry when her daughter wasn't there. She told me she didn't want another kid in one of our first messages because some weirdo on the dating site asked her to have one.. and I jokingly said "are you gonna do it?" She has no financial motivation to have me around, she makes far more money than I do. She has a nicer place than I do, she is not trying to get me to move in. We had dinner at her friend's house, they were in their 50's, educated, very intelligent and down to earth.. That's when I realized how damn smart she is.. I am 28 and she is 5 years older. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 She gave me a key so I could do laundry at her place, she left it outside for me but then told me to hold onto it. I would only go do laundry when her daughter wasn't there. She is book smart and that's about it. No mother, in her right mind, would give a key to her home (outside or not) to a STRANGER, especially a key giving access to her child. Something is wrong with this woman, you will discover it soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Manbrodude26 Posted July 3, 2015 Author Share Posted July 3, 2015 She is book smart and that's about it. No mother, in her right mind, would give a key to her home (outside or not) to a STRANGER, especially a key giving access to her child. Something is wrong with this woman, you will discover it soon. Any ideas? .. I somewhat knew her brother and sister back in the day. I asked my friend about her before I went out.. He said he talked to her a couple of times and she seemed all about her daughter. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 3, 2015 Share Posted July 3, 2015 She gave me a key so I could do laundry at her place, she left it outside for me but then told me to hold onto it. I would only go do laundry when her daughter wasn't there. She told me she didn't want another kid in one of our first messages because some weirdo on the dating site asked her to have one.. and I jokingly said "are you gonna do it?" She has no financial motivation to have me around, she makes far more money than I do. She has a nicer place than I do, she is not trying to get me to move in. We had dinner at her friend's house, they were in their 50's, educated, very intelligent and down to earth.. That's when I realized how damn smart she is.. I am 28 and she is 5 years older. I still think it's very strange she gave a virtual stranger a key to her house. But look, all you can do is, as I said, date her at least a year before you make any moves forward, such as living together or anything like that, and keep that condom on. Link to post Share on other sites
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