Should I stay strong or just quit this relationship?

[Samantha89]

Hey guys, 


I am writing this post because I just can’t seem to turn my mind off about the matter, maybe writing about it and getting some advice it will help me put my mind at ease.

 

A couple of months ago I wrote about this guy that I had been seeing. We met last January and since day one I knew at the end of May he would be going back to the US (I live in the UK). I kind of liked the idea of him leaving, it’s always been hard for me to open up to guys and let them in and also I find it hard to really like a guy (after a couple of dates in I just find them boring). Well this guy I liked a lot. We saw each other regularly for this months and everytime it was better and better. Last week he was in Europe we made a trip together to spain. 7 amazing days that I hope I can remember for the rest of my life.

 

On the trip we confessed we were in love with each other, and since that moment had some kind of compressed relationship, where we felt many things and lived them fully.

 

The day we was leaving we talked about what we would do. We both have one more year at Uni, him in the US and me in London. We don’t want to be in a long distance relationship where we end hating each other. We agreed we didnt want to be checking the phone all day waiting for a text from the other person. And that we didnt want to know if we were seeing other people unless it is something serious. It breaks my heart just thinking about this conversation. 

We agreed we would try to keep in touch as much as possible, and try to see each other soon. And from there see how it goes. The truth is that I dont know if there is a real prospect of a future together. Will I move to the US? What about the visa? Would he come to Europe?

 

I am afraid we are not going to make it through this year. Its been only two weeks since he left and I feel sad constantly. I feel sad he will forget he once had feelings for this girl across the ocean. I am scared. I have never felt this way for anyone in my 26 years of life. And I dont want to give up on it, but I dont want to cry every day either!!! 

I dont know how to proceed, can we still tell each other ‘I love you’ ot that I miss him like crazy, if we are supposedly not in a relationship?

We are not talking too much as we are both busy and with the time diference it makes it impossible. I know we said not to be too much with the whatsapp and texts but I just wish he was more present, I feel like he has already forgotten about me. 

I can’t keep living my life if I have this feelings for him. Should I end this? How can I make it to just see him as a friend and not suffer this much?? 

Please help!

[Torii]

Hi Samantha,

 

Feelings never get easy - whether you're physically together or with some distance. Understanding how you feel in any given situation - especially with romanticized feelings is the best option you can do for yourself. Even though being without this man causes your heart to ache, can you handle it with the simple hope that you'll see each other again?

 

If you really like this man, what makes you have doubts about a possible future together? I've known couples that have met overseas as well, and have been together for years before they met again in person. Sometimes, life is funny and throws curveballs at us - especially in long distance relationships, and in my opinion, as long as both partners are at approval and are able to dedicate time, there should be hope that you'll meet again. Real love doesn't expire.

 

It's normal to feel like he's forgotten you - but I believe that's just the monster known as doubt speaking to you. Doubt wants you to screw up, wants you to believe with all your heart that what you feel for each other isn't going any further than it has already. Doubt ruins happiness, and you mustn't let it in the door - unless you have an legitimate reason that has been proven by your gut instinct.

 

There are many ways to communicate now, thanks to the Internet. You could use Skype to speak with each other, as well as rekindle your feelings. Some people find it difficult to express feelings when they're not with the person they care about, it doesn't mean he doesn't still have those feelings.