BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 My ex-bf told me that the sex we had together was 'transcending' and that I had 'set the bar so high' that he doubts he'll ever experience sex in the way that he did when he was with me. He also told me what he thought my 'faults' were - that I had an "issue" with a man (him) having 'authority' over me, over our relationship and my kids (which I told him NO man would EVER have 'authority' over me or my children! I mean, seriously!!) and that I wouldn't ever let him make *all* of the decisions in our relationship (to which I told him that we're both EQUALS and that we BOTH agree on and make decisions TOGETHER, or not at all!). He hinted that because of the 'awesome sex' that we had, that he had 'overlooked' these 'faults' of mine and it wasn't until we stopped having sex (because of the way he was treating me) that his mind became 'clearer' to what *I* 'wasn't doing in our relationship' - it's funny how he never mentioned HIS faults or the things HE 'wasn't doing in our relationship'. Upon a lot of reflection and research, I realized that he has NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) BIG time and that this was his manipulative and passive-aggressive way of blaming me for the failure of our relationship while taking NO responsibility for HIS part in our relationship's demise. The question that I'd like to ask all of you is: If a guy (or woman) has great/intimate sex with a woman (or a guy), does this blind them to their significant other's "faults"? Or does the quality of their sexual intimacy NOT play a role with them recognizing or acknowledging their SO's 'faults', weaknesses or shortcomings? . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Probably. We tend to overlook a lot of faults in our SO's because of their good qualities. It's a balancing act, because nobody is perfect. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Absolutely and not only men, women too. You will often see couples having serious relationship problems hang on because of the great sex but on the other end you won't see as many couples with a very poor sexual life hanging on because the relationship is good. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Absolutely and not only men, women too. You will often see couples having serious relationship problems hang on because of the great sex but on the other end you won't see as many couples with a very poor sexual life hanging on because the relationship is good. Yeah, it's that extra "Gruuunnttt" at the end of it all that keeps them comin' (no pun intended) back. LOL 1 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I can attest that Mind Blowing Sex has made me blind - or more willing to put up with crap when I usually don't.... Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 you won't see as many couples with a very poor sexual life hanging on because the relationship is good. Ehhhh, you will amongst married couples with children. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Ehhhh, you will amongst married couples with children. Indeed, and the relationship might only be OK too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BlackOpsZombieGirl Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 Thanks everyone for your responses so far. Based on most of the posts, it seems that the answer to my question is 'yes'. And I'll admit, that the sensual and tantric sex that I had with my ex made me temporarily foggy with regard to his serious faults - for a while. But, unlike him, I didn't have to stop having sex with him to notice what his true character was and how he was treating me; I noticed these things before then and had a talk with him about it, which ended up turning into a full blown argument - which led to me breaking up with him. I guess what most of us need to do (if we want to) is to try and compartmentalize the awesome sex that we have with our SO from the actual reality of what their character is and from how they treat us. But, since mind blowing sex builds such a strong bond of sexual and emotional intimacy between two people in a relationship, it's hard to separate the awesome sex that you have with them from the person that they are in reality and how they relate to you on all levels. This is probably why some people wait a long while to have sex with someone they're steadily dating or are exclusively in a relationship with - they want to see what their SO's character truly is and how they treat them before they slide down that slippery slope of orgasmic and sensual pleasure that they'll derive from them when they begin to become sexually intimate with them. . Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I'll bite on the negative side .... I don't think it blinds people so much as it clouds their judgment about the negatives. If BF-x is a heavy drinker but he can bring the dick in a major way, you still know he's a heavy drinker and that may piss you off. But he also brings the dick in a major way. So it's more like delusion than hallucination. You bargain on behalf of the sex, not imagine that there aren't any problems. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Yookie Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I'll bite on the negative side .... I don't think it blinds people so much as it clouds their judgment about the negatives. If BF-x is a heavy drinker but he can bring the dick in a major way, you still know he's a heavy drinker and that may piss you off. But he also brings the dick in a major way. So it's more like delusion than hallucination. You bargain on behalf of the sex, not imagine that there aren't any problems. I agree with this logic! Link to post Share on other sites
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