If a woman filters you and you're off her radar, can you get "un-filtered"?

[UnknownSoldier]

I'm reading Pick Up Artist books that show a list of patterns you need to follow when picking up women, and if you slip up on a specific pattern, your chances of picking her up decrease. A woman has a filtering mechanism, and a man has an approach mechanism. A man only has one shot to pick up a woman he likes, and if he screws up too much, she takes him off her radar. Here are some simple examples.

 

1. A girl at my job walked up to me, and hinted off she wanted to go out with me. I got nervous, and hesitated to ask her out. She got very angry, and walked off. She now completely ignores me. I've been filtered, and I'm off her radar.

 

2. A girl at my job showed interest and gave me her number, but my chances decreased when showing neediness, and acting desperate. She later said she wanted to be friends. I've been filtered, and I'm off her radar.

 

Now that I'm off the girl's radar, is there a technique to get yourself "un-filtered", meaning you go back on her radar? The girl that got angry at me, she's been treating me like a ghost every time she comes in to work. One trick I tried to calm her down was to speak her name whenever she came in, and on the 4th night, she actually smiled and ran up to me slamming a shopping cart into the other carts, and then took off in the distance. She turned around, smiled, and said "I like slamming things".

 

As for the girl where I was showing neediness, I tried showing more negative body language at work, and she one time smiled, laughed, and leaned in towards me for a hug.

 

Based on what happened above, I might be on to something. Getting back on her radar works well if you're trying to date women on the job, and when you get filtered, you're still working around them. If anyone knows the answer, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

[UnknownSoldier]

bump............

[PegNosePete]

I think you'll get better responses if you made this post on a pick-up artist forum.

 

This is a dating forum, not PUA trickery.

[Toodaloo]

I'm reading Pick Up Artist books

 

This right here is your problem...

 

Those tactics are, to put it bluntly bloody useless.

 

Its a way for some prick to make a mint out of guys who are trying to get a girl.

 

Its not going to help you.

 

It will just make you seem a complete wazzock.

[misspond]

Please get rid of the PUA books. They'll rot your brain (ok, not literally but...) and in the long run make things worse in terms of your self-confidence because people (both women and men) can tell when they're being played or if someone is following weird notions of "approach" and "escalation", even if they can't tell exactly what is so odd about the interaction. And please don't use that ridiculous notion of "negging", ever. For exactly the same reasons. It's one thing to be a bit flirty and tease someone, quite something else to be deliberately horrible to someone with the idea that it makes you more attractive.

 

As has been suggested before, just practice talking to people, about something/anything that's relevant to the situation you're in. In a queue that's taking a long time to get seen to? Turn to the person behind you and make a comment about it. Don't expect that you'll have a long meaningful conversation about whatever it is you mentioned, just get into the habit of passing the time of day with people and see what happens. It's likely the world won't collapse around you, and that the next time you do it you'll feel more comfy and so on.

 

As for being "filtered" and off someone's radar? Too bad for them that they didn't give you enough time to respond in a natural and comfortable way.

[LookAtThisPOst]

On #2, a woman GIVES him her # without him asking for it and HE is needy??

 

Something is missing here.

 

 

I'm reading Pick Up Artist books that show a list of patterns you need to follow when picking up women, and if you slip up on a specific pattern, your chances of picking her up decrease. A woman has a filtering mechanism, and a man has an approach mechanism. A man only has one shot to pick up a woman he likes, and if he screws up too much, she takes him off her radar. Here are some simple examples.

 

1. A girl at my job walked up to me, and hinted off she wanted to go out with me. I got nervous, and hesitated to ask her out. She got very angry, and walked off. She now completely ignores me. I've been filtered, and I'm off her radar.

 

2. A girl at my job showed interest and gave me her number, but my chances decreased when showing neediness, and acting desperate. She later said she wanted to be friends. I've been filtered, and I'm off her radar.

 

Now that I'm off the girl's radar, is there a technique to get yourself "un-filtered", meaning you go back on her radar? The girl that got angry at me, she's been treating me like a ghost every time she comes in to work. One trick I tried to calm her down was to speak her name whenever she came in, and on the 4th night, she actually smiled and ran up to me slamming a shopping cart into the other carts, and then took off in the distance. She turned around, smiled, and said "I like slamming things".

 

As for the girl where I was showing neediness, I tried showing more negative body language at work, and she one time smiled, laughed, and leaned in towards me for a hug.

 

Based on what happened above, I might be on to something. Getting back on her radar works well if you're trying to date women on the job, and when you get filtered, you're still working around them. If anyone knows the answer, I'd appreciate it. Thanks.

[Satu]

Remember to put some dandelion leaves in you pocket and turn three times to clockwise before you go out.

[UnknownSoldier]

On #2, a woman GIVES him her # without him asking for it and HE is needy??

 

Something is missing here.

 

No, I asked for it, and showed neediness in the future.

[UnknownSoldier]

Remember to put some dandelion leaves in you pocket and turn three times to clockwise before you go out.

 

This isn't a joke, this is serious business.

[UnknownSoldier]

I think you'll get better responses if you made this post on a pick-up artist forum.

 

This is a dating forum, not PUA trickery.

 

PUA tickery? Its called understanding how humans think.

[UnknownSoldier]

Please get rid of the PUA books. They'll rot your brain (ok, not literally but...) and in the long run make things worse in terms of your self-confidence because people (both women and men) can tell when they're being played or if someone is following weird notions of "approach" and "escalation", even if they can't tell exactly what is so odd about the interaction. And please don't use that ridiculous notion of "negging", ever. For exactly the same reasons. It's one thing to be a bit flirty and tease someone, quite something else to be deliberately horrible to someone with the idea that it makes you more attractive.

 

As has been suggested before, just practice talking to people, about something/anything that's relevant to the situation you're in. In a queue that's taking a long time to get seen to? Turn to the person behind you and make a comment about it. Don't expect that you'll have a long meaningful conversation about whatever it is you mentioned, just get into the habit of passing the time of day with people and see what happens. It's likely the world won't collapse around you, and that the next time you do it you'll feel more comfy and so on.

 

As for being "filtered" and off someone's radar? Too bad for them that they didn't give you enough time to respond in a natural and comfortable way.

 

The PUA books teach you how to follow the patterns naturally where a person wont be able to tell you're using trickery. However, the books have turned me into a Glass Cannon. I've become a chick magnet in public, but then they get pissed off at me, because I haven't mastered the other steps.

 

"As for being "filtered" and off someone's radar? Too bad for them that they didn't give you enough time to respond in a natural and comfortable way."

 

Its because I'm not following the correct patterns.

[fitnessfan365]

It's one thing if you were acting like a stalker and texting/calling her all day every day. Then I'd agree that's needy behavior. But a woman that's genuinely interested will appreciate consistency and like hearing from you.

 

So that's why you need to flip your mindset. If you have the attitude that the right woman will appreciate you for who you are, it makes it a lot easier to dismiss women like this one. If she wanted just to be friends, it's her f**king loss. Not yours. That's why the last thing you should be doing is trying to get "unfiltered". Just accept that she wasn't the right one and walk away.

 

In all honesty man, following that PUA crap is a waste of time. Trying to follow patterns and game women doesn't let them get to know the real you. If your goal is one night stands and short lived flings, then have it. But if you want an actual long term relationship with a great woman, the only way that will work out is if you act 100% yourself and genuine from the get go. The fact that you have to read books on the subject means that it does not come naturally and is not your authentic behavior. Find women that like you based on who you are.

[deadelvis]

Focus on your own life. Reach toward your own goals. Be confident. Stop chasing. Here's the most important tip that 90% of guys forget or ignore...

 

She will decide the moment she see's you if she would ever have sex with you. She will never go from no-to-yes but she can quickly go from yes-to-no. This usually happens to most guys as soon as they open their mouth. Being quiet and mysterious goes a long way in public settings. When a woman is interested in you she will give you subtle non-verbal ques to indicate her interest. I never get shot down by women because I never try for a woman who hasn't already given me "the look". Women choose men. Don't forget that. We've all seen when a man (drunk usually) tries to hit on a woman who is not interested in him. It's not pretty. Don't be that guy. Read the non-verbal hints and don't embarrass yourself. I've walked across the room toward a woman, seen her give me the "not gonna happen" look and stopped in my tracks, turned around and walked back to my chair. Why? Because I'm not stupid. Her body language and eye contact said "no" before I even approached her. You can't change her mind from no-to-yes. I've also seen it go the other way... Her eye contact and body language said "yes" but then I opened my mouth and (drunk usually) watched it switch from yes-to-no as I talked to her. Oh well... should have played the quiet mysterious guy that time. All I'm saying is read her subtle body language and non-verbal communication. She will make it clear if she is interested in you. This can be a little trickier if you are both really attractive because then more "games" come into play. She will do things like pretend she isn't attracted to you or pretend to be interested in your friend just to guage your reaction. But even then the basic principles of reading her eye contact and non-verbal cues will be the same, just more avoidance games and testing each other starts happening in that situation. Also never underestimate the power of intent and context during your first spoken interaction. I'll stand in line or sit next to a hot girl for 15 minutes and both of us just remain silent. Any other idiot would be trying to chat with her. Just remaining silent and ignoring her is way more effective. It builds tension and removes the dynamc of desperation. If you do this right she will come sit next to you later and give you a chance to talk to her. This is when you have to be clever and charming.

[Ninjainpajamas]

I don't have knowledge of PUA tactics, but when I hear them they're all pretty basic knowledge of what one learns through experience.

 

You are right about both situations, you were definitely cut-off at those moments because they were crucial...you can't foul up on something major, you have to keep the pace because a woman's interest feigns easily...the interest is strong and present, but if you either do not capitalize on it or make a move then she drifts off....women have ADD when it comes to having interest in men.

 

If you do not reach that point however and you just have it lingering, then you are not exactly unfiltered, but when she opens that door you have to make your move within that window if she basically presents it to you...otherwise it's pretty much game-over.

 

Just try and take steps whenever you feel that window open, you need to react not think. The dating game for men is not about thinking but seizing opportunities when they present themselves..and that can be a blink of an eye type of moment.

 

But it's the same way in sales, you've got to keep the tempo or you'll lose the sale...one wrong move for many women and it's over, unless she's just really into you...she may open that door again or flirt with you after that, that's when you can take the opportunity, but you might have to expend a lot more effort than you would have if you just had done it the first time when she gave it to you.

[MissBee]

On #2, a woman GIVES him her # without him asking for it and HE is needy??

 

Something is missing here.

 

She gave him her number, I gather he meant afterwards he proceeded to act desperate. That's perfectly possibly.

 

Many times you think a man is fine and you have interest, give him your number, or go out, then realize he is crazy, desperate, or has a bunch of other problems. So I assume it was something like that, she thought he was fine, then he later behaved in unattractive ways and she lost interest.

[misspond]

The PUA books teach you how to follow the patterns naturally where a person wont be able to tell you're using trickery. However, the books have turned me into a Glass Cannon. I've become a chick magnet in public, but then they get pissed off at me, because I haven't mastered the other steps.

 

"As for being "filtered" and off someone's radar? Too bad for them that they didn't give you enough time to respond in a natural and comfortable way."

 

Its because I'm not following the correct patterns.

 

Unknown Soldier - I've read some of your other threads and would just like to say how sorry I am that you've been through a recent and severe relationship upheaval.

 

I can understand that you're looking to make yourself feel better but it might be that you're trying too hard too soon.

 

And you may well not be following the "correct patterns" and hence not getting the results you're looking for, but it's not because PUA techniques work (and I've no doubt they do with people who are insecure and have few boundaries of their own, but do you really want to attract someone who is struggling with their own sense of self-worth?), it may well be because you need to chill out, take a breath or two and just relax into yourself a little.

[elaine567]

Having read some of your other posts.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/separation-divorce/529307-suffering-greatly-divorce-showing-neediness-women-due-loneliness#post6329068 - you are in no position to date yet.

You need to stop putting pressure on yourself to get another woman and relax, be very good to yourself, learn to have fun again and heal.

At the moment you are very vulnerable and the last thing you want is to fall into another bad relationship, as your picker will be useless just now.