h0000 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Is it ever possible? For a certain reason I started missing the guy I last dated, who disappeared after few months.Towards the end of the "relationship" or whatever, he actually got closer with me (instead of fading away), before suddenly *poof* I almost feel it's because he started to have feelings and it scared him because maybe he doesn't want a relationship. So anyway, generally speaking, what are the odd it's because he is "too into you" ? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Lots of people crave intimacy, whilst fearing it at the same time. Go and read on Natalie Lue's website. You'll find a lot that will interest you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 Lots of people crave intimacy, whilst fearing it at the same time. . Will this be just a wishful thinking? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 Will this be just a wishful thinking? I'm not sure what you're asking me. Will what be wishful thinking? Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 I'm not sure what you're asking me. Will what be wishful thinking? That he fears the closeness he had with you, rather than he felt nothing while with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 That he fears the closeness he had with you, rather than he felt nothing while with you. I think he wanted the closeness, but got scared. Link to post Share on other sites
Author h0000 Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 I think he wanted the closeness, but got scared. It sounds contradictory to the common believe that he wanted closeness, just not with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Is it ever possible? For a certain reason I started missing the guy I last dated, who disappeared after few months.Towards the end of the "relationship" or whatever, he actually got closer with me (instead of fading away), before suddenly *poof* I almost feel it's because he started to have feelings and it scared him because maybe he doesn't want a relationship. So anyway, generally speaking, what are the odd it's because he is "too into you" ? It's more likely you got too into him and he didn't want that. Did you two ever have a casual conversation, early on in the dating scenario, about what each of you was looking for out of your dating journeys in general? Did he tell you he was looking for a casual relationship or a long-term committed relationship? Did you tell him what you were looking for? The scenario you laid out above, appears to be a case where maybe that wasn't clear in the beginning. In other words, he never wanted a relationship for himself but when he sensed that you were getting closer, and possibly too close, he bailed. He didn't do it the right way, but it is the way it happens often. If they poof within the first, say 2 - 3 months or before exclusivity is declared, they don't really owe you anything. They just disappear. If you were at least exclusive, sure, he should have had a conversation with you. Poofing is the coward's way out. They think it's easier for you, but really it's easier for them. If he had any feelings for you but was scared, he would have talked to you to tell you he was moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
eleve82 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Is it ever possible? For a certain reason I started missing the guy I last dated, who disappeared after few months.Towards the end of the "relationship" or whatever, he actually got closer with me (instead of fading away), before suddenly *poof* I almost feel it's because he started to have feelings and it scared him because maybe he doesn't want a relationship. So anyway, generally speaking, what are the odd it's because he is "too into you" ? A guy that is too into you will never disappear A guy who is not into you enough to overcome his fear of sacrificing anything else WILL disappear 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I don't think it was his fear of intimacy. Those guys often re-appear after some time apart, at least in my experience. But a few questions could help clarify and thus enable us to give better feedback: How long were you seeing each other? Did the subject of exclusivity ever come up? When you say you got closer toward the end, how so? Link to post Share on other sites
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