guild11 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Hey guys, when I was a teen I used to chase my crush, I knew that at some point I would get her. Today I'm an adult and was wondering, do ladies still like to be chased ? Usually I would ask her out and if she rejects then I would leave her alone... But how can I know if she is just acting hard to get and testing me? Link to post Share on other sites
UntitledNotepad Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 compare the two worst case scenarios: its better to chase someone and find out they dont like you then to not chase someone and find out they did Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I don't know but do adults really reject offers for dates as a way of playing hard to get?! :/ Seems awfully childish if you ask me. Personally, if a guy asks me out on a date and I refuse, there is a reason and it's pretty much game over. I'm not playing games with him. I'm not looking for him to read between the lines. I'm not hoping he'll ask me out 5 more times THEN I'll finally say yes. None of it. No means I'm not interested in him in that way. Consider the rejection as your cue to move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I've seen lots of posts lately referring to cat and mouse games, chasing, playing hard to get, etc. As far as I'm concerned, if a person wants to play games, they shouldn't be surprised when they end up alone. Childish games are for childish people and I wouldn't waste my time. Either there is a mutual level of interest or not. I see no reason to play games. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Hey guys, when I was a teen I used to chase my crush, I knew that at some point I would get her. Today I'm an adult and was wondering, do ladies still like to be chased ? Usually I would ask her out and if she rejects then I would leave her alone... But how can I know if she is just acting hard to get and testing me? If a woman out right rejects you and clearly tells you she isn't interested, you respect her wishes and leave her alone. If she is unclear or wishy-washy, you can give it another try. Be specific about your interest and ask her out with specific day, time and place. If she turns you down again, you leave it alone. I do not like to be chased. I like it when a man is clear about his interest in me, is consistent with contact and requests for dates. If I tell him I'm not interested and he continues to pursue, he becomes and annoyance. Link to post Share on other sites
El Pallasso Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 No man with self respect chases. You express your interest and if she is not interested, you move on. Simple. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 There is a difference between healthy persistence and living in denial. For example, a woman plays hot and cold telling you "maybe" a few times. She's testing to see how interested you really are. But if a woman gives you a flat out rejection, and you keep pursuing, that is when you're in denial. Honestly though, I don't waste my time on women that play hard to get. There was this one woman that I met via Facebook awhile back. We'd chat a bit here and there. Then as I got to know her better, I became attracted and she'd also drop hints. So I got her number. Called her and asked when she was free. She said "Maybe Thursday". So I said I could see her that night. She says 'I'll let you know". Never heard from her. Then down the road she texts me saying "Hey you! How's life?" Now obviously with her reaching out, she'd probably be ready to go out if I asked again. But her flaking made me lose all interest and I didn't respond to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Usually I would ask her out and if she rejects then I would leave her alone. - This is exactly what you should be doing. Make sure you work out and look your best, and if you ask enough women for their numbers, you'll find a nice one who responds well to that. A woman saying "no" to dates is not playing hard to get. "No" means "no", unless she's crazy. When she does that, she's either not interested or high maintenance. Playing hard to get is simply the opposite of being needy. Everyone responds to playing hard to get to an extent. So don't buy her flowers on date one, wait a week to ask her on a date, and don't give lots of compliments in the beginning, don't act like you just got out of jail and have not seen a woman for ten years! Sane women who like you respond to playing hard to get. Link to post Share on other sites
oh.so.lost. Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 If I'm into a man, I don't play hard to get by turning down dates. If hes asks me out and I already have plans, I make sure we reset it for a night that works for both of us. I don't leave him hanging in limbo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ambivalence Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Chasing in general shows low value. Make her chase you. You will always have to chase a little bit, but if you're going out of your way to do it, something isn't right. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Generally if she's still interacting with you then you can keep chasing her. Once she starts ignoring then you have to ignore her back. Two things though, don't put in more energy than she does. IE if she takes a day to text back don't text her back instantly. And two, at the very least hint she's not the only girl you're interacting with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ambivalence Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 Two things though, don't put in more energy than she does. IE if she takes a day to text back don't text her back instantly. And two, at the very least hint she's not the only girl you're interacting with. Exactly! Make sure she invests more than you do. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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