She just flipped the switch on me! (Updated)

[bobbysmith2]

hi good evening

 

i'm 23 years old and my ex girlfriend is 24 we were together for 2 years,we met on twitter she lives in america and i live in the caribbean, she came here and she spent 3 weeks with me and after that i went to the usa to spend 6 months with her. we had our ups and downs but we always sorted out the situation no matter what,we would travel back and fourth to spend time with each other.

 

so last year i went to visit her, i was amazed at how good we were doing 4 months in my stay there we did not have a single argument or disagreement, if we had a little issue we would talk about it and solve it right there and then.

 

so in late september {i can't remember the exact date} she told me she wanna take me to go paintball,i was excited seeing this was my 1st time.so the day arrived and this guy showed up,she told me that he is her co worker and he is coming with us i said okay cool she never told me before but i did not pay no attention to it. so we arrived at the paintball place we were sitting down chilling waiting for our turn to come,i had to use the restroom which was like 15 feet from where we were sitting it only took me like 1 minute to get done, by the time i came out they were both gone i could not find them so i sat on the bench waiting. they came from the car park few mins later but i did not pay too much attention to it {silly me} so we got in line and we had fun that night.

 

 

on october 10th she had told me she was going to halloween horror nights busch gardens i was like cool,guess who should up again? {the same co worker guy} so we got there we went in a few haunted houses and stuff,she knew that i don't like rides but i let her go on rides he went along also while i just sat and waited.so on the way home we had a little argument nothing major.so when we got home i asked her for oral sex she responded "i knew you was gonna ask me that" i wondering how she knew hmm, i ask her if she wants me to return the favour she said "no i'm good" i said "you sure?" she said "yea don't worry about it."

 

 

so on the 24th of october while she was sitting in the garage painting something for her mother, i came into the garage and my gut just told me to ask her this question.i said "how comes it is cool for you to go to work and get a co worker's number AND bring him with us not once but twice" she started saying "she knew i did not like him and she is not happy and stuff" i actually thought the guy was pretty cool to be honest and i never mentioned his name till that day.

 

 

next day we had gone to this little festival and she was acting strange, she didn't want to be around me and she was in a snappy mood.i was confused because i was trying everything to form a conversation but she was just "stressed out" so she said later that day she said she wanted to go have a drink with her "girl" so i said no problem have fun, she kept trying to force me to go out with a family friend friend but i did not feel like going no where.

 

on the the 29th of october she came home from work and told me "she loves me but she is not in love with me anymore" i was confused as hell seeing this was my 1st relationship,i thought she was punishing me for whatever reason.

 

on november 2nd we went on a cruise to the bahamas with her mum and dad,she avoided me most of the time i had no idea what i could of done to this girl that she was treating me the way she did smh. i felt so alone on this big cruise ship,she spent most of her time tagging along with her parents.one day we were in the cabin laying down i was begging her to have a conversation with me and the 1st thing she said was "i know you like my best friend" i'm laying there so confused because her bestie lives a 3 hour drive away and we never go there i probably met her 3 times since i knew my ex, then she told me she turned down oral sex because i had her "turned off" but if you were "turned off" why did you give me oral sex? hmmm.

 

when we got back to the usa she bought my plane ticket and told me it's over, she said we could still be friends and she is willing to pay for my xbox online and stuff.i was so hurt to see all the sacrifices i made to come there, to visit here and all the time we took building this relationship she just decided to end it, i was so confused why is she acting so normal but i'm out here hurting? my gut just told me look at her phone and you will see why.

 

 

i asked to see her phone to make a call home she took longer than normal to give me the phone, so i said "are you gonna let me make this call or not?" so she gave me the phone. my heart was racing i never yet went through her messages, and the 1st thing i saw she was telling some guy she is dating his brother turn on "his brother" is the same dude i questioned her about, my heart dropped i could not believe she played me like this smh.

 

i came back home doing fine i still think about her everyday,her netflix was on my xbox so i still use it time to time she never changed the password. there are 3 accounts on this netflix profile hers, her mom's and her dad's, we normally use the dad's account. but in reality the dad or the mom don't use netflix just me and her,so one night i seen she had been watching two series we watched together but the funny thing is she only watched one episode of each and never continued to watch them.

 

i was watching a few documentaries and stuff one day i went on her mum profile and behold somebody watched the same two documentaries as me,i decided that i will monitor it. and few weeks later somebody started watching shows i was watching again i told myself if the parents don't use netflix only person doing this is her.so i'm thinking she is trying to get my attention,so one day i went on and seen a new account created called "mom" so i'm like why would you create another account when there is 2 accounts which nobody uses?

 

few weeks later the account we deleted and she changed the picture on her netflix profile something she never ever did because like i said nobody use it but us, i'm thinking i'll message her and ask her about it. so i asked her "if she is the one watching the same shows as me", said no it was not her i said okay cool,i asked are "you still dating?" she said "yes" i said "i'm happy for yall" then i asked why you never apologies? she said she never cheated and she has nothing to apologies for this conversation is over.

 

i was shocked to see she acted this way towards me because i never cheated on her and she was the one that broke up with me she didn't even give a chance because she had someone else.

 

i would appreciate if you guys can give your input on the situation it would really help thanks!

[Mrlonelyone]

You are from the caribbean, and she is from the USA. Let me ask are you black and is she white? If so there are issues of novelty, and exotification involved big time. (That is kinda true even if she is black.)

 

She may have used you to ...get her grove back or get her grove on. Having gotten her grove and had her chocolate she is just done with you. Being that both of you are young it felt like more.

 

Plenty of people "date" and have "relationships" with no real intention what so ever of those ever being anything more than short term situations. That's what this was. It was not designed to be anything more than a short term sex romp with an exotic Caribbean man. Then when she was done she sent you home as if you were merchandise.

 

As for the Netflix thing. These short term situations are not without some emotional content. On some level she did like you and you were somewhat compatible. So no surprise she can like some of your TV shows. She is not doing it to "get your attention". I could be wrong about that young women will do very passive agressive things to get a guys attention.

[barcode88]

She sounds immature. No big losses man.

 

The comment about you and her friend was her projecting her own situation onto you.

[Vercetti]

Love you but not in love, piss on that...on to the next one for you. Easy to say and yeah it sucks, don't waste more energy on this.

[bobbysmith2]

You are from the caribbean, and she is from the USA. Let me ask are you black and is she white? If so there are issues of novelty, and exotification involved big time. (That is kinda true even if she is black.)

 

She may have used you to ...get her grove back or get her grove on. Having gotten her grove and had her chocolate she is just done with you. Being that both of you are young it felt like more.

 

Plenty of people "date" and have "relationships" with no real intention what so ever of those ever being anything more than short term situations. That's what this was. It was not designed to be anything more than a short term sex romp with an exotic Caribbean man. Then when she was done she sent you home as if you were merchandise.

 

As for the Netflix thing. These short term situations are not without some emotional content. On some level she did like you and you were somewhat compatible. So no surprise she can like some of your TV shows. She is not doing it to "get your attention". I could be wrong about that young women will do very passive agressive things to get a guys attention.

 

 

she is mixed, her mom is white her dad is black and i'm black.i'm glad you asked this question because the funny thing is when we started talking she told me she's not into white men she never dated one she said she just date black guys but the guy she cheated on me with is white and he is 19 that's the shocking thing about it.

[NoLeafClover]

she is mixed, her mom is white her dad is black and i'm black.i'm glad you asked this question because the funny thing is when we started talking she told me she's not into white men she never dated one she said she just date black guys but the guy she cheated on me with is white and he is 19 that's the shocking thing about it.

 

Actions speak louder than words...it's more than just a cute phrase people say.

[Mrlonelyone]

she is mixed, her mom is white her dad is black and i'm black.i'm glad you asked this question because the funny thing is when we started talking she told me she's not into white men she never dated one she said she just date black guys but the guy she cheated on me with is white and he is 19 that's the shocking thing about it.

 

Shocking is 19 and not cheating.

 

You're young and just learning how relationships work. One of the things you'll find is that many people say things about their desires that they think make them sound good. Then they do the opposite. They marry and act out being faithful then cheat.