Guy looking for Online Dating profile assistance

[Throldur]

I saw one member did a thread like this and he got some good suggestions..

 

Right now I'm not getting into the city that much and want to have an OLD profile up just in case. I'm not getting responses all that often and have only received one 'initial' message and it wasn't a desirable person for me.

 

I'm thinking it's probably my looks and pictures. I'm not the most photogenic (or attractive guy) and I'm horrible at smiling for pictures. All my good pictures are with the ex girlfriend so I can't use them (nor do I want to look at them). However, I'm tall, I'm in good shape, I'm athletic, I groom myself well and I think I dress rather well.

 

I'm just a little unsure why a guy like myself wouldn't at least get some nibbles (I send a message and they look at my profile so it's not like the message itself is horrible).. I mean, I have my own vehicle, I'm educated, I'm athletic, I play hockey, I play drums, I write creatively, I like to cuddle and stay in to watch netflix, I go to the gym 3-5 days a week, but I like being active as well.. Not really sure where I'm going wrong..

 

***moderation removed URL***

 

if it is the pics, then I don't really know what to do other than just give up on OLD since I can't really change being photogenic/attractive in that way.

Edited April 18, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Poppyolive]

So, I had a peek. it is well written and you come across cute and sweet. I like to your first picture with the bottle shows off a fun side to your personality. i personally, am not a fan of "standing and waiting for your photo to be taken", picture, especially on old sites. It's a bit cheesy.

 

So why don't you take some more pictures like the one where you are holding the bottle and or some sexy, well angled selfies. For your selfie, open up your eyes and give a nice big bright smile. I honestly think your profile is just fine, a few tweaks with your photos will help.

 

It could be what you are saying in your messages. Give me an example?

[Throldur]

So, I had a peek. it is well written and you come across cute and sweet. I like to your first picture with the bottle shows off a fun side to your personality. i personally, am not a fan of "standing and waiting for your photo to be taken", picture, especially on old sites. It's a bit cheesy.

 

So why don't you take some more pictures like the one where you are holding the bottle and or some sexy, well angled selfies. For your selfie, open up your eyes and give a nice big bright smile. I honestly think your profile is just fine, a few tweaks with your photos will help.

 

It could be what you are saying in your messages. Give me an example?

 

I'll have to look up how to do some good selfies.. Like I said, not too photogenic, and I can't really smile well for photographs, so the one from my buddies wedding was the best thing I could find that had my best.. smile in it.

 

I tried a few different approaches for messages, I'll show a few here..

 

This girl didn't have a lot in her profile for interests just her 'knowing what she doesn't want'..

"Hey Sarah! I assure you that I am not a loud eater and I can go to museums without getting kicked out for touching the artwork . Is there a particular museum around here that is a favorite of yours or that you've always wanted to visit?"

 

I tried a funny approach on this girl cause she had a picture of her drinking out of a dinosaur sippy cup

"I actually happen to think that's a real dinosaur you are drinking out of.. You don't have me fooled ."

Another attempt at just being funny and charming here - "I thought at first your profile said "I smell of rain".. I was going to ask how you accomplish that on a daily basis :p"

 

I tried a couple where I used something I observed from their profile pictures

"I love that your sleeve is all black & grey! I find color is over-used today in tattoos and texture is better shown in black & grey."

"Gotta say.. your sock/skate combination there is entirely awesome :)"

 

And then a couple half-assed attempts

"What's your favorite thing about the Ocean?"

"What show are you currently binge-watching on Netflix? I've just gotten through Vikings on History and it's almost as good as Game of Thrones."

 

This girl had a pokemon pun in her headline - "

What would be the best way to catch you? If I Raichu a love song or if I took you on a Magikarp-et ride?"

 

In hindsight, some of these are awful, I can see the ones where I was discouraged and just throwing something at the wall..

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

I think what you wrote in your profile and your pics are good! Your pics show the diversity in your life, the things that you're into and your fun quirky side! Your profile info tells women what activities you like to do, what your hobbies are, what your educational accomplishments and goals are as well as the things you like to do when you kick back. Your last sentence is cool, because you say that you wouldn't mind the woman making the first move by contacting you, which to me, shows your confidence.

 

Maybe it's just the area you live in; and maybe there just aren't that many women in your locality that are into the same things you are. Maybe they're not attracted to your looks - the same way that you aren't attracted to some other womens' looks.

 

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with your profile or pics. Maybe change your pics every now and then or changing up the info you write in your profile. Btw....I love the pic of you and the sweet lil kitten! It shows that you love animals, which should be a + for any woman who has a pet; especially if it's a cat!

 

 

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[fitnessfan365]

I'll give the same advice that I did to the other guy.

 

1) Think movie teaser trailer. A little bit of humor, a little bit of sexiness/flirtation, and some highlights to give a basic idea while being somewhat vague. The part talking about you should be a paragraph max.

 

2) Get rid of this - I'm never opposed to the girl making the first move. If you're interested, send me a message!. This comes off as desperate and basically communicates that you don't have the confidence to approach women. Also, get rid of the part about cuddling. Giving an open invitation to anything physical when you don't even know a woman can be taken as you wanting just sex.

 

3) You don't mention anything about your ideal woman at all. This makes it seem like you don't have standards. You want a woman qualifying herself and asking "Is that me?" when she reads. You can actually kill two birds with one stone by linking some of your interests to your ideal woman description. This lets her put two and two together on what you like to do and makes her see if she matches up.

 

Sample Profile :

 

" I'm a man of many talents with everything from being a hockey goalie and a published writer, to playing the drums and recording music. However, even though I'm a sucker for adventure and itching to fill my passport up, I'll never turn down a quiet night in to do some binge watching on Netflix. My ideal woman would not only be beautiful and athletic enough to keep up with me physically, but she'd also be well read, enjoy being outdoors for hikes and regular trips to the beach, and she'd have an affinity for live music. Extra credit if you can pass my beer test. ;-) "

 

*** Women love challenges and silly tests like that. Since you love good beer, you can make up whatever test you want. When they write asking about it, say that it's better given in person and that if she gets enough cool points over the next few emails, you two can grab a beer together. Then end your response by asking her a question about her profile to find out more to get her to open up.. It's all about how you word things and steer the conversation. But, if you get her thinking about going out with you and trying to win a date from the first email, she isn't going to be thinking about you as a pen pal. Plus, you're making a genuine effort to find out more about her by wanting her to win cool points. Unlike all the other guys that are just kissing her ass on her looks.

Edited April 18, 2015 by fitnessfan365

[Poppyolive]

Those are funny and very sweet. Thank gawd you don't just write "hey, what's up" hey sexjy" . its shows you've read their profile and are using a piece to make conversation. If you messaged me, like you'd examples, along with your profile, I'd chat with you! Only if we were closer in age. I'm 8 years older.

 

So, it must just be the kind of girls or your location. Keep on, keeping on

[Jessie1231]

I like your profile and your messages seem good. I like when a guy sends a message referencing my pics or my profile. It shows they read and looked instead of just sending tons of random messages. It sounds like you just haven't found the right one yet. Keep trying. From what I hear, it takes lots of rejection for guys before you get any good responses.

[Throldur]

Didn't know we couldn't link OLD profiles.. so mine is down, so no more picture suggestions.. One member gave me a good re-write for a profile.. I'll just C+P my profile for anyone else who wants to look and maybe suggest something without linking to it externally (site rules).

 

"Hello there! I've graduated from Saint Mary's University and am on track to begin my degree in Human Resource Management in September of this year.

 

I'm a man of many talents, I play goaltender in hockey, I play drums (I've played live shows at the Pavilion and recorded music with a band in the past, hoping to do some more of that in the future) and I write (I've had a few things published). I'm an expert at cuddling as well .

 

When I'm not doing those things I can be found at the gym, hanging out with friends (having a beer, watching the game),spending time with my family, or just settling in for a relaxing evening watching Netflix. I'm always looking for an adventure, would love to do some more traveling and I never miss a chance to see one of my favorite bands live.

 

Right now my favorite shows are comedies like Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Silicon Valley, The Office and Arrested Development. Other shows like Suits, Game of Thrones, and The Following (though I've recently developed an addiction to the show Chopped..).

My musical taste bounces all over the map from Tool to Eminem to City and Colour to Ed Sheeran to The Deftones.

 

I'm never opposed to the girl making the first move. If you're interested, send me a message!"

[joseb]

Hi, your profile isn't bad. I do agree with the suggestion to remove the last line about contacting you.

Regarding your messages, again not bad, shows that you have read their profiles, and humour is always good.

The one thing I'd suggest is trying not to just agree with everything they say.

 

Have not seen the photos, but yeah maybe practise some selfies - don't pose for them, just have the camera/phone ready, maybe thing of something funny or imagine a fun situation, and fire away and you will likely capture a couple of good pics.

[William]

Didn't know we couldn't link OLD profiles.. so mine is down, so no more picture suggestions.. One member gave me a good re-write for a profile.. I'll just C+P my profile for anyone else who wants to look and maybe suggest something without linking to it externally (site rules).

 

Do not post links to an OLD profile or copy paste text from an OLD profile. You can ask questions about what works and does not work. Of course private messages are much freeer.

 

We don't want the open forum to become a link-farm of OLD profile links (and possible stealth spam).

 

Carry on.

[Throldur]

Do not post links to an OLD profile or copy paste text from an OLD profile. You can ask questions about what works and does not work. Of course private messages are much freeer.

 

We don't want the open forum to become a link-farm of OLD profile links (and possible stealth spam).

 

Carry on.

 

Ah, OK. Perfectly understood now! Thanks.

[Throldur]

Alright, I edited my profile based on suggestions.. I sent out a few messages today and will monitor to see if anything changes.

 

If that doesn't work, I'll do the picture suggestions and see if that improves anything.