This is why I hate only talking to ONE girl from a free dating site

[smg15]

I met this girl on POF and we hit it off right away on the phone and chatted for 2 hours on sunday night. After that it's been only texting.

 

 

Monday I sent a text in the afternoon saying hello

 

On Tuesday I called her and got the voicemail.........no message was left

 

On Wednesday she sent a text saying sorry she missed my call

 

Today she sent a good morning text and once I responded I didn't hear from her the rest of the day

 

 

So I'm just surprised she has not returned my call since Tuesday and only been texting. yes I know it's other guys she is talking to but I figured that 2 hours on the phone counted for a lot. But now I feel like I am being kept at a distance since it's only text communication. And it just sucks I may have wasted all that breathe for nothing chatting with her on the phone

 

The only other girl I am talking to is not even on her level so it's like she is competing with no one lol

 

So I definitely should not call again right? She appears to be involved but I can feel myself mentally checking out.

 

I will make sure I cut the next phone convo with someone who is my type to about 45 mins. Two hours was too long.

[eunpa]

You don't have to cut a call short, but you should try to go out with someone before you only stick to texting and calling. It's much less personal.

 

You could call her again or you could just move on and see what's out there in the meantime. You don't have to wait around for her because there really are a lot more people out there you could talk to. Don't limit yourself until you both agree you're ready to be exclusive. If you go on a few dates and are talking to someone regularly (and mutually) that's probably a good time to call it quits on the other conversations you're having.

 

And since you think she's talking to other guys, what's stopping you from talking to other girls? It's not mean of her to weigh her options before deciding anymore than it is for you to do the same.

[Dybbuk]

I agree, a 2 hour phone conversation is too long. It almost makes it hard to look forward to a meeting because you've already talked about a bunch of that preliminary stuff over the phone instead of on the date. Keep it short, light and fun. That would have made her more eager to actually talk to you in person.

 

Obviously you're not the only guy in the race here, and from the sound of it the other suitors have her attention.

 

Drop the chase and move on to someone else, if she reaches outs and you're still up for it go from there. You've already called/texted enough so the ball is in her court. If the other girl isn't what you're looking for drop her too. Don't waste her time like this girl just wasted yours. It's inconsiderate.

[smg15]

You don't have to cut a call short, but you should try to go out with someone before you only stick to texting and calling. It's much less personal.

 

You could call her again or you could just move on and see what's out there in the meantime. You don't have to wait around for her because there really are a lot more people out there you could talk to. Don't limit yourself until you both agree you're ready to be exclusive. If you go on a few dates and are talking to someone regularly (and mutually) that's probably a good time to call it quits on the other conversations you're having.

 

And since you think she's talking to other guys, what's stopping you from talking to other girls? It's not mean of her to weigh her options before deciding anymore than it is for you to do the same.

 

 

 

It's hard to find other girls like her and I have been trying which is someone who is

 

29-35

no kids

attractive

nice personality

 

 

So I would love to come across someone else like her but it's just not that easy

[soithascometothis]

I think two hours on the phone doesn't count for much actually. However look at it from another way, you didn't have to meet her, pay for a date, waste additional time, etc. before you found out it wasn't going to work. In the future I'd probably chill out on the communication so early on. I think the first phone call was a good move, but after that you should just get her out on a date.

[smg15]

I agree, a 2 hour phone conversation is too long. It almost makes it hard to look forward to a meeting because you've already talked about a bunch of that preliminary stuff over the phone instead of on the date. Keep it short, light and fun. That would have made her more eager to actually talk to you in person.

 

Obviously you're not the only guy in the race here, and from the sound of it the other suitors have her attention.

 

Drop the chase and move on to someone else, if she reaches outs and you're still up for it go from there. You've already called/texted enough so the ball is in her court. If the other girl isn't what you're looking for drop her too. Don't waste her time like this girl just wasted yours. It's inconsiderate.

 

Yeah you right, as good as she looks I know she has tons of guys coming at her.

 

I just wished she call in the evening instead of sending a text in the morning.

[eunpa]

It's hard to find other girls like her and I have been trying which is someone who is

 

29-35

no kids

attractive

nice personality

 

 

So I would love to come across someone else like her but it's just not that easy

 

Weird, you described someone like me....which tells me there are more of us out there.

[smg15]

I think two hours on the phone doesn't count for much actually. However look at it from another way, you didn't have to meet her, pay for a date, waste additional time, etc. before you found out it wasn't going to work. In the future I'd probably chill out on the communication so early on. I think the first phone call was a good move, but after that you should just get her out on a date.

 

It was just instant phone chemistry like we already talked before. And it was so refreshing because the last 3 first conversation I had were so bad that I ended the convo after 20 mins. So that's why I am shocked we have not talked on the phone atleast once since sunday and today is thursday

[smg15]

Weird, you described someone like me....which tells me there are more of us out there.

 

 

I know I am not supposed to take anyone seriously from a free site so I think I will just try and focus on the pay sites for now on.

[Gary S]

My question is, why did you not ask her to meet at the end of the phone call? She was probably asking herself the same question, and wrote you off as a time waster.

 

When you call a lady from a dating site, if the call goes well, set up a first meet. The good ones don't want a text buddy.

[smg15]

My question is, why did you not ask her to meet at the end of the phone call? She was probably asking herself the same question, and wrote you off as a time waster.

 

When you call a lady from a dating site, if the call goes well, set up a first meet. The good ones don't want a text buddy.

 

Well I don't normally ask to meet after the 1st conversation to avoid coming off as desperate. It's on the second conversation when I ask a time frame of when they would meet face to face. And then I schedule the meet based on what time of the month I am in. I rarely meet anyone the first two weeks of a month since that is rent time.

[Gary S]

Well, they expect you to ask them out on the first call. If you don't many will take it as a rejection.

 

I would suggest you get on a budget, increase your income, or get a lower rent place.

 

If you want to date, it helps if you know the rules.

[smg15]

Well, they expect you to ask them out on the first call. If you don't many will take it as a rejection.

 

I would suggest you get on a budget, increase your income, or get a lower rent place.

 

If you want to date, it helps if you know the rules.

 

 

Well the weather has been so nasty in my area that I did not think meeting. The next person I meet I want it to be spring time because I am so done with winter time

[fitnessfan365]

Here's a question. Why didn't you ask her out and make definite plans the first time you talked to her on the phone? Since you're not taking action and just acting like a texting buddy, that's why she got bored.

[smg15]

Here's a question. Why didn't you ask her out and make definite plans the first time you talked to her on the phone? Since you're not taking action and just acting like a texting buddy, that's why she got bored.

 

I called tuesday night to discuss meeting, isn't that taking action?

[SolG]

Maybe she's like me. I'm an introvert with a demanding career. Whilst I might be up for chatting on a weekend, not so on a week day when my nights are my recharging time after the work day. Also, if I'm in a peak period and therefore probably flat out working extra long busy days, my attention is not even going to extend to text exchanges. My preference, especially if we've already talked for two hours and established a connection, would be to just text to set up a face to face meeting on the weekend then largely leave it until then.

 

We're all different!

 

Maybe give her the benefit of the doubt and try again this weekend.

[redglass]

Call again. If she doesn't answer, leave a nice voicemail asking her if she's free to meet any time soon. It really is that simple.

[Gaeta]

So I'm just surprised she has not returned my call since Tuesday and only been texting.

 

You called her but you did not leave a message to call you back, or left a text saying I called get back to me when you can. In her mind there is no call to be returned. You called, you left no message, end of story.

 

 

yes I know it's other guys she is talking to but I figured that 2 hours on the phone counted for a lot.

 

No it doesn't. You could have had a nice conversation then toward the end you said something she did not like or after she hung up she decided you are not for her.

 

Happened to me a couple of weeks ago. This guy called me and we spoke for like 3 hours, he was nice and interesting but he also made a couple of sexual annuendoes I did not like so after we hung up I decided this guy was not for me.

 

 

But now I feel like I am being kept at a distance since it's only text communication. And it just sucks I may have wasted all that breathe for nothing chatting with her on the phone

Then don't do it. If you 2 had 2 hours to waste on the phone you had enough time to go grab a coffee together.

 

 

So I definitely should not call again right?

You have nothing to lose, call her and leave a message to call you back.

[Jethro]

And it just sucks I may have wasted all that breathe for nothing chatting with her on the phone

 

Oh man, you got the wrong attitude for OLD. it's going to chew you up and spit you out. Listen to me, a guy that has been OLD for about 3 years now... unless you are willing to let your soul be crushed, there is only one way to handle OLD... don't let ANYTHING get to you. Literally, nothing should bother you. Like talking with a girl for weeks and then she goes totally cold- just brush it off. You need to not only act like it doesn't phase you, you need it to actually not phase you. OLD can be a soul crushing environment if you let it get to you. Need to really have thick skin to survive there.

[rocketman122]

I met this girl on POF and we hit it off right away on the phone and chatted for 2 hours on sunday night. After that it's been only texting.

 

 

Monday I sent a text in the afternoon saying hello

 

On Tuesday I called her and got the voicemail.........no message was left

 

On Wednesday she sent a text saying sorry she missed my call

 

Today she sent a good morning text and once I responded I didn't hear from her the rest of the day

 

 

So I'm just surprised she has not returned my call since Tuesday and only been texting. yes I know it's other guys she is talking to but I figured that 2 hours on the phone counted for a lot. But now I feel like I am being kept at a distance since it's only text communication. And it just sucks I may have wasted all that breathe for nothing chatting with her on the phone

 

The only other girl I am talking to is not even on her level so it's like she is competing with no one lol

 

So I definitely should not call again right? She appears to be involved but I can feel myself mentally checking out.

 

I will make sure I cut the next phone convo with someone who is my type to about 45 mins. Two hours was too long.

 

 

WHen I first read the title I was already fired up because I HATE multidaters with a passion. it will be the loss of the person im dating because I know my caliber and I dont compete. I can do it but dont out of respect.

 

anyways reading your post I can say you are absolutely correct. talk to as many women as you can and hone it down to who you want to date. you sometimes have to be very quick with your decision because ive had instances where I got bombarded with messages and replies all at one time and then you have to quickly filter and pursue one.

 

getting back to your post. 1-the 2 hour chat was not long, but you should have closed it for a date/meet. I will only text once or twice back and forth and if I see its not moving forward, I break it off and move on. moving forward is going to a call. her saying in a text "ill call you in the evening" etc

 

there are many women who are not looking to date or meet and nothing beyond chatting or a call will ensue. you have to be quick to assess the situation and waste as little time with that. that comes with experience. many people just want attention and not looking for anything besides a virtual relationship

 

send a text through the site, you get a reply, then ask to talk on the phone. if she starts with the questions and doesnt give a telephone, cut it and move. if the person just gives you the run around, cut it. I have a women whos trying this with me now. her replies take a long time and very few words. I clearly gave my intentions. I asked her to dinner and I left my number. the ball is in her court. I dont see this moving forward but stats she has fits my wants. her hesitation and suspicions is turning me off and im probably not going to reply to her next text. too much time between replies so things wear out. If I dont set a date within 2-3 days at the worst case scenario, I cut it. sometimes things get delayed (people have lives) but if the person is interested they will put in effort.

 

you did not need to leave a message. its irelevant. she saw your call and she could have texted back if she was interested. make no mistake. nothing you did was wrong. you didnt close the deal by asking her out. that was your fek up.

 

its happened that ive had chats that lasted 2-3 hours. we really hit it off. but I always close the deal. I always get a date to meet. while in the conversation im quite forward and im a no bull**** guy and say "listen, I want to see you. lets meet face to face" theres nothing like reading a persons body language and looking into their eyes to see who they are. no masks, no walls, fragile and no monitor or phone to hide behind. you need to be more assertive and lead.

 

again, you did nothing wrong besides not closing. you didnt close and it also might be she never wanted to meet or was turned off by you not closing the deal and you took a back seat and she was not reciprocating.

 

be quick when you have the chance and the iron is hot. you see something you want, take it, dont be a wimp. dont put too much effort in with her. shes not showing interest. texts are sporadic and way too long. she has ur number. texts should be within an hour or two at the worst. whether shes dating others, who knows. dont let your mind work overtime.

[barcode88]

OP , did you try asking her out for a drink relatively early on? If not, there's your problem.

[smg15]

OP , did you try asking her out for a drink relatively early on? If not, there's your problem.

 

I will try one last time tonight and that will end things for me enough to move on

[CFW]

I agree, a 2 hour phone conversation is too long. It almost makes it hard to look forward to a meeting because you've already talked about a bunch of that preliminary stuff over the phone instead of on the date. Keep it short, light and fun. That would have made her more eager to actually talk to you in person.

 

Obviously you're not the only guy in the race here, and from the sound of it the other suitors have her attention.

 

Drop the chase and move on to someone else, if she reaches outs and you're still up for it go from there. You've already called/texted enough so the ball is in her court. If the other girl isn't what you're looking for drop her too. Don't waste her time like this girl just wasted yours. It's inconsiderate.

 

Short, light, fun whatever. Women have made a mockery of dating.

[CFW]

You called her but you did not leave a message to call you back, or left a text saying I called get back to me when you can. In her mind there is no call to be returned. You called, you left no message, end of story.

 

 

 

 

No it doesn't. You could have had a nice conversation then toward the end you said something she did not like or after she hung up she decided you are not for her.

 

Happened to me a couple of weeks ago. This guy called me and we spoke for like 3 hours, he was nice and interesting but he also made a couple of sexual annuendoes I did not like so after we hung up I decided this guy was not for me.

 

 

Then don't do it. If you 2 had 2 hours to waste on the phone you had enough time to go grab a coffee together.

 

 

You have nothing to lose, call her and leave a message to call you back.

 

These rules are made by women and are ruining everything.

[DoesntGetIt]

Well I don't normally ask to meet after the 1st conversation to avoid coming off as desperate. It's on the second conversation when I ask a time frame of when they would meet face to face. And then I schedule the meet based on what time of the month I am in. I rarely meet anyone the first two weeks of a month since that is rent time.

 

Sorry, but you need to ask early, especially with online dating meets. A lot of guys on there even open with an invite out to get a drink. Can't sit around waiting and playing it slow like you could with a friend of a friend.

 

 

It is never going to work out waiting 2 weeks due to rent timing either. That is way too long before the first meet.