brandon26003 Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I am 34 years old and started dating this girl about 6 weeks ago. Things were going great. I would get texts from her saying she couldn't wait to hang out again. She would also mention little things about taking a trip together this summer. It actually seemed like things were progressing. Two weekends ago, she invited me to her house where I would be meeting her 2 year old son. Her kid seemed to like me and everything was going well. Before I left, she invited me down the following weekend. We texted back and forth that night and I didn't hear from her for a few days. I messaged her asking her what was going on, and she said she was going through some personal things and usually withdraws from everyone when she is going through difficult times. She said "absolutely" when I asked her if she was still interested in dating Another 4 days passed without hearing from her, so I sent her a message saying I understand she is going through some issues, but I don't like the fact that there is no communication. That text didn't get a response. What could be going on? I find it odd that this would happen right after I met her son. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Very strange. Perhaps the child's father got wind of the introduction and didn't like that his boy met you so early? This is obviously just a guess. Could be anything, and it might not be related to you at all. Having said that, it's not possible to maintain a connection with someone who doesn't communicate. I would not initiate any further contact, as she clearly wants some space right now. Do you know if she was having any family, health or work issues? Link to post Share on other sites
YoGabba Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 I am 34 years old and started dating this girl about 6 weeks ago. Things were going great. I would get texts from her saying she couldn't wait to hang out again. She would also mention little things about taking a trip together this summer. It actually seemed like things were progressing. Two weekends ago, she invited me to her house where I would be meeting her 2 year old son. Her kid seemed to like me and everything was going well. Before I left, she invited me down the following weekend. We texted back and forth that night and I didn't hear from her for a few days. I messaged her asking her what was going on, and she said she was going through some personal things and usually withdraws from everyone when she is going through difficult times. She said "absolutely" when I asked her if she was still interested in dating Another 4 days passed without hearing from her, so I sent her a message saying I understand she is going through some issues, but I don't like the fact that there is no communication. That text didn't get a response. What could be going on? I find it odd that this would happen right after I met her son. Obviously nobody here has all the details but I'd venture to guess it really has nothing to do with you. Maybe she'll contact you again within the next hour, mabye she won't but you do have knolwedge of her 'withdrawls' now though. Is this something you can put up with in the future if/when it happens again? Just something to keep in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 It probably has nothing to do with you. She may really have stuff going on. I know this happens in my relationship from time to time. My GF withdraws and goes silent. Bothers me to no end. Like you I've told her I need more communication, just a quick text will suffice. . I've been with my GF much longer than you with your so, I'm accustomed to the situation. My GF also has children, though much older, and I've learned that if one of them is having ANY type of problem, it's very likely I will not hear from her for a few days. She wont' get my call, answer texts, nada. They become he world (as they should) and I am somewhere in the rear view mirror. Does that mean she's forgotten about me? No, but I'm not on the priority list. After the situation is over, she calls, apologizes..then does it again! lol. But I realize it's the way she is, and It really isn't always about me, and that helps. So I'd give her the space and take her "absolutely" comment at face value and hope she contacts you about it. Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted March 4, 2015 Share Posted March 4, 2015 Do you really want to date someone who closes off at trouble? I wouldn't take that. six weeks is a good amount of time for things to start to get serious. And the fact she goes cold on you says volumes. I also wouldn't rule out the baby daddy coming back on the scene or just another guy being around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author brandon26003 Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 I'm pretty sure that her child's father has anything to do with it. He now lives in Texas and has never met the child. She has said that she has been having family issues with the health of woman that raised her. That woman's son was recently incarcerated and her health has been getting worse since he has been incarcerated. I'm a patient person. If she is having issues, I would completely understand, but I won't and should not accept 0 communication. It has been almost a week since I've heard from her. I do like her, but will not wait for her to come around. If she does before I meet someone else, I may revisit it. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Honestly? Ok honestly, in your original post, reading between the lines, I heard inflexibility. Then your second post, it was confirmed with what you said and the tone. It's your right to have that position, of course, but if I were in her shoes and received the first text saying what you did, I probably would have done the same thing she did or rather didn't do, ie not respond. She seem like she needed time and space because of issues unrelated to you and probably if there was contact with you it should have been supportive instead. I guess if you are bf/gf then there's an expectation of contact of a certain amount. But 6 weeks in, when she told you something was going on but obviously you're not close enough yet that she felt comfortable telling you exactly what it was about, I think you should have just let her contact you. Doesn't mean that you need to sit there waiting. I guess you could have continued to date if you are not exclusive yet. I bet she didn't need the extra drama and hostility. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Well, you don't have a relationship until 2 months. Until that time, don't count on it. Looks like she had seconds thoughts. It could be for any one of 1,000 reasons. Just get back out there and start dating again. Nothing can take your mind of a woman like a new woman can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author brandon26003 Posted March 5, 2015 Author Share Posted March 5, 2015 I was nice the first time when I didn't hear from her for a few days. The next time I didn't hear from her for a while I had to make it known that I'm not happy that I haven't heard from her. My thinking was if I didn't eventually say something, she would think it's okay to do it in the future whenever she wanted. I also wanted to give the though that I'm not gonna wait around forever. I'm also thinking about sending her a text asking if everything is okay. Not sure yet if I will or how it would make me look if I did. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 5, 2015 Share Posted March 5, 2015 Don't know, but the lack of communication would get to me too. If a date couldn't make contact for four days when I'd shown a clear interest in hearing from them, it would be a dealbreaker for me (unless they were in hospital unconscious or something!). Link to post Share on other sites
Author brandon26003 Posted March 6, 2015 Author Share Posted March 6, 2015 She is the one that expressed interest first. It seemed to be a genuine interest, so I showed interest back. Everything seemed to be going great until I met her son...then the communication stopped. She is a mature young woman and doesn't allow just any man around her son. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts