Tips/Stories on inviting her back to your place (and it being awkward)

[385]

So, I just got out of a Long Term Relationship of 4 years and just realized I completely forgot how we hooked up in the first place - it just happened.

 

Anyways, back on the dating scene and I would like to invite this girl back to my place to watch a movie. We've hung out twice, chemistry is definitely there. I think it'll be ok to invite her back as long as I can build up the chemistry on the next date.

 

But, what I would like to know is, let's say we hit it off and I invite her back to my place, and she says no. What happens? What are your experiences with that from both sides?

 

Also, let's say she does come back but doesn't understand that's an invitation to hookup, and I try to make a move and she declines it. What are your stories on that?

 

Basically, I want to know what to do in case I she decline and the vibe disappears and awkwardness ensues and how to diffuse that.

[SycamoreCircle]

If she says no, she says no. No big deal.

 

My advice is don't suggest it. Eventually, if it's going to happen, she'll suggest it.

 

If/when she does come over, make her dinner. Something you make well.

[385]

If she says no, she says no. No big deal.

 

My advice is don't suggest it. Eventually, if it's going to happen, she'll suggest it.

 

If/when she does come over, make her dinner. Something you make well.

I'm not afraid about the rejection as much. It's just the awkwardness that ensues as that would kill chemistry for awhile. I know she's interested in me but I don't want to kill that chemistry, but I also want to hookup soon so none of the chemistry we've built up is wasted.

 

I'd like to make the move altho she's been pretty straight forward too and stuff so I wouldn't be surprised if she suggests it.

 

Thanks for the advice although we've both talked about our inability to cook haha - so cooking may be out of the question.

[todreaminblue]

If she declines accept it.....be warm be friendly and dont change...think ok the timing was off , she doesnt know me well enough that i wouldnt jump on her when through my door. she doesnt trust you yet.......

 

 

get to know her and maybe suggest a public date somewhere ...her favourite place somewhere where she feels comfortable....when you ask her what place she likes....you are increasing the getting to know her vibe....showing interest and caring about more than just getting her inside your front door...

 

 

you can ask....as long as you accept it may be no.....then you just do something she wants to do as a date not just what you want...compromise..........deb

[preraph]

I think you wait until it comes natural. Times I can think of would be when me and the guy were getting cozy wherever we went out to and it was obvious things were heating up. I don't think I'd be comfortable just being asked cold with someone I'd never at least snogged with to go to their place. Me and a rommate did that once when 2 guys asked us over and got there and they just wanted an audience. They were magicians. After they did their routine, they left the room and we fled.

[Gary S]

I'll usually go for the first big kiss (but sometimes the lady will beat me to it!).

 

I usually wait until the woman invites me into her home. If she's doing the inviting, she's automatically ready, and there is zero chance of rejection.

 

After the first kiss, on future dates, I would expect there to be makeout sessions. I want to see desire for sex in the first 5 weeks. If there is desire, it will happen, eventually. When she's ready for sex, you will know you don't need to do anything special, trust me. And again, if she makes the move, there is no chance for rejection. If you have a happy long term relationship, you'll likely be having sex for years... so what's the rush, hot-lips?!

 

The first big kiss is the catalist which takes the relationship to the next stage. You have nothing to worry about after that, you are on your way to the promise land

[Christina107]

Well, 2 years ago, when I went on a date with this guy that I liked. We went out to dinner on our second date. He told me to park near his place. So...I got the feeling he was going to invite me back to his place, possibly if the date went well and it did. Because I was totally feeling him 100%. And he had game, because he never mentioned anything or gave hints about inviting me back to his place for anything. We were going to have dinner and go to a club nearby. After we left the restaurant, he asked me if he could hold my hand and I said, yes, then he asked if he could kiss me and I said yes. And he gave me a passionate kiss. Then he asked, "do you want to go back to my place" and I said yes. And it was the most amazing sex I've had. Now, if he would have asked me to "go over to watch a movie" or "lets drink some wine" or "give me a massage" that would have been a turn off. Its the whole game thing.

[TiffanyMyers]

 

Anyways, back on the dating scene and I would like to invite this girl back to my place to watch a movie. We've hung out twice, chemistry is definitely there. I think it'll be ok to invite her back as long as I can build up the chemistry on the next date.

 

But, what I would like to know is, let's say we hit it off and I invite her back to my place, and she says no. What happens? What are your experiences with that from both sides?

 

Also, let's say she does come back but doesn't understand that's an invitation to hookup, and I try to make a move and she declines it. What are your stories on that?

 

Basically, I want to know what to do in case I she decline and the vibe disappears and awkwardness ensues and how to diffuse that.

 

Please allow me to give a detailed summary of exactly what to do here. This actually happened between my boyfriend and I, rather naturally, but this would be a rough guide on what to do based on my vicarious experience.

 

Forenote: Remember, the science of dating is always the concept of 'less pressure'. The less pressure there is, the less pressure the girl feels, the easier it is to get her into your bedroom. Better still, if you can make it seem like the whole thing was her idea, then you're really set.

 

Step 1: Find an excuse to go to either her home or your home. What you want to achieve here is the idea that entering each other's private space feels perfectly normal and natural. You need to apply your sense of opportunity to get this right. So for example, you could have dinner near your place, and if it starts to rain, suggest taking her home to wait off the rain. Or, if both of you are heading to somewhere and your home happens to be along the way, suggest a stopover at your place before heading off.

 

Step 2: Once she is in your house, what you want to do is to find an excuse to take her straight into your room. This step is crucial. Suggest something like 'my parents want to watch TV' or 'my brother is inviting his friends over'. Once she is in your room, make her feel comfortable my talking to her and allowing her into your private space.

 

Step 3: On her first visit, don't do anything too rash with her. My boyfriend and I never made out or did anything of that sort on my first visit. What you want to do is slowly let her feel comfortable in your private space, to ease the pressure of entering into your room, and to make it feel as natural as possible. You want her first visit to your room to be a pleasant experience. Naturally, this would make it easier to bring her back the next time round without a reason to do so.

 

Step 4: Asking her to your place now would become way much easier because it feels natural to be in your room. Sometimes, even the girl might suggest hanging out at your place, if her first memory there was a pleasant one. Once the girl is in your room, get some wine glasses ready and chat while drinking wine (or her favourite drink, if wine is not her thing)

 

Step 5: After a long conversation, take the wine glass from her hand and kiss her gently on her cheek. This would really start to ignite things, and if she really likes you and feels comfortable in your private space, then you are all set for the night. This would really take your relationship one step forward into the physical realm. But always bear in mind the principle of 'less pressure'. If the girl does not want sex the first time round, don't do it. Let her feel comfortable and develop a trust in you.

 

Step 6: Ask her home as many times as you wish and repeat step 4 -5. The wine isin't necessary this time round

 

Cheers and all the best!

[385]

Please allow me to give a detailed summary of exactly what to do here. This actually happened between my boyfriend and I, rather naturally, but this would be a rough guide on what to do based on my vicarious experience.

 

Forenote: Remember, the science of dating is always the concept of 'less pressure'. The less pressure there is, the less pressure the girl feels, the easier it is to get her into your bedroom. Better still, if you can make it seem like the whole thing was her idea, then you're really set.

 

Step 1: Find an excuse to go to either her home or your home. What you want to achieve here is the idea that entering each other's private space feels perfectly normal and natural. You need to apply your sense of opportunity to get this right. So for example, you could have dinner near your place, and if it starts to rain, suggest taking her home to wait off the rain. Or, if both of you are heading to somewhere and your home happens to be along the way, suggest a stopover at your place before heading off.

 

Step 2: Once she is in your house, what you want to do is to find an excuse to take her straight into your room. This step is crucial. Suggest something like 'my parents want to watch TV' or 'my brother is inviting his friends over'. Once she is in your room, make her feel comfortable my talking to her and allowing her into your private space.

 

Step 3: On her first visit, don't do anything too rash with her. My boyfriend and I never made out or did anything of that sort on my first visit. What you want to do is slowly let her feel comfortable in your private space, to ease the pressure of entering into your room, and to make it feel as natural as possible. You want her first visit to your room to be a pleasant experience. Naturally, this would make it easier to bring her back the next time round without a reason to do so.

 

Step 4: Asking her to your place now would become way much easier because it feels natural to be in your room. Sometimes, even the girl might suggest hanging out at your place, if her first memory there was a pleasant one. Once the girl is in your room, get some wine glasses ready and chat while drinking wine (or her favourite drink, if wine is not her thing)

 

Step 5: After a long conversation, take the wine glass from her hand and kiss her gently on her cheek. This would really start to ignite things, and if she really likes you and feels comfortable in your private space, then you are all set for the night. This would really take your relationship one step forward into the physical realm. But always bear in mind the principle of 'less pressure'. If the girl does not want sex the first time round, don't do it. Let her feel comfortable and develop a trust in you.

 

Step 6: Ask her home as many times as you wish and repeat step 4 -5. The wine isin't necessary this time round

 

Cheers and all the best!

 

Thank you! This is very detailed and helpful. The inviting her over the 'check' out my place is a good step that forgot to do. Had the chance to do that on my second date but my place wasn't clean enough so I didn't do it but I for sure thought about it - that's all on me haha.

 

I've hooked up with a girl on a first date once and I think it was because we decided to meet at my place first and then went out on the date. I showed her my place before hand which I think was helpful in getting comfortable. But that hookup vibe was super obvious and I wasn't afraid of coming on the wrong way with her as I wasn't that into her. This one I actually kinda like so I want it to be pretty smooth.

 

But there's so many small tricks that I just forget sometimes.