BritishBullDog123 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I'll try to keep this brief. Basically I've been texting this girl over a few months.. Not that often to be honest every few days we'll have a small conversation through whatsapp. Now I asked her for a coffee on Facebook back in November and didn't get a response until New Years eve to which the answer was yes. Since then I've continued with the chit chat whilst trying to play it cool. The fact came up recently that she has 2 weeks off coming up and I basically said that we should go for that coffee when she's off too which she said 'yea x' I replied once more then didn't bother replying to her message after that. My friend tells me to just leave it there until she messages me again. But I'm thinking do I go ahead with this coffee and leave it at that. It would be much easier if women were more direct!! Thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Anything other than a yes and actions resulting in a meeting is a no. Date other women. This one is a dry hole. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 When she said yes for the coffee why didn't lock right there a time and a place? I don't think she is being unclear. I think You don't show interest much, she doesn't show interest much. You both of uninterested behavior. If you want something take the lead and make it happen. If you were clear on what you want she then would be clear on what she does not want. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 When someone is interested in you, they won't hesitate to accept your coffee invite. They won't make you wait 2 months for what was a totally vague response. That's insulting. Based on her pattern of vague, non-committal responses I don't think she's that interested in going out with you for coffee. If she was, you two would have had that coffee date already. Don't waste anymore time pursuing her. Are there any other girls that you're interested in meeting? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Basically I've been texting this girl over a few months.. Not that often to be honest every few days we'll have a small conversation through whatsapp. You did not express any interest other than being whatsapp pals. Now I asked her for a coffee on Facebook back in November and didn't get a response until New Years eve to which the answer was yes. She said yes. It's better than a maybe, a no, or no reply. Your fail is to not book a time and a place with her right there. You left it hanging like it's no big deal. Like whatsapp pals would do. Since then I've continued with the chit chat whilst trying to play it cool. There you go again playing cool. What message are you sending this girl? She said yes to your coffee invitation but there you are chit chatting and not booking a time and place with her. The fact came up recently that she has 2 weeks off coming up and I basically said that we should go for that coffee when she's off too which she said 'yea x' I replied once more then didn't bother replying to her message after that. AGAIN, she says yes again to a coffee with you BUT you don't book a time and a place. You just offer a vague timeframe and leave it to her to make the invitation. If she were posting on here every body would tell her a man that is interested would not make vague invitations like this he'd book you! My friend tells me to just leave it there until she messages me again. And I am telling you to put your pants on and make a real invitation to this woman with a time and a place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BritishBullDog123 Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I will say about the whole leaving me hanging until New Years eve . It was because she hadn't seen the message which then led me to ask for her whatsapp/mobile number. I can see now how it looks to her but even though she responds to my messages I feel as if theyre very vague. Like for example she'll ask if I'm ok or something then start to be blunt with her messages.. She's weird kind of like mixed signals. I'm no good at explaining things lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 She said YES 2 times now to go for coffee with you. What are you waiting for to make a real invitation with a time and place? If a man tells me 'wanna go for a coffee sometimes' I reply 'ya sure' then I wait. I wait for a real invitation with a time and a place to come. I am not going to finish his job. You threw the invite in the air so it's your job to close the deal. Not her job. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Hey, if you want to end this one way or another, simply call her (voice) and ask her out on a date with specific time and place. Any answer other than a yes is a no. No ambiguity. If she doesn't say yes or doesn't get back to you (VM) within 24 hours, erase. Women with low interest are to be avoided at all costs. They'll fµck up your life. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 She's weird kind of like mixed signals. Judge how she is in person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BritishBullDog123 Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Ok then so if I wait until Friday to make the arrangement would that be ok or should it be sooner? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Ok then so if I wait until Friday to make the arrangement would that be ok or should it be sooner? Sooner. By Friday people have booked their weekend. Wednesday or Thursday offer her a time and a place for the weekend. Also, why not offer her a first meeting on weekday evening? Make an invite today for Wednesday evening? You don't know each other much, you don't know if you will hit it off so make it a middle of the week shorter date. I am pretty sure her weekend prime time is reserved for friends. Link to post Share on other sites
stellamaria Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Hmm. Perhaps say "so how's about that coffee? how would Saturday at 12pm at such-and-such suit? If not, let me know when" And see if she responds in the next few days. Link to post Share on other sites
LifeandPerseverance Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I asked her for a coffee on Facebook back in November and didn't get a response until New Years eve I would say she's not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BritishBullDog123 Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 She's a busy girl and with her 2 weeks off starting next week I thought it was good to time it for Tuesday or Wednesday that week so by asking her Friday would be good timing. My opinion. Yeah that's roughly like what I was going to say to her. It's mad how as humans we get so caught up in this sort of stuff. Emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Ok then so if I wait until Friday to make the arrangement would that be ok or should it be sooner? Call her today and propose something for this week during the day or after work. It's really no big deal. Sooner rather than later. Then simply listen. Women tell you everything you need to know about their interest if you listen and accept. IMO, make this style a habit and ask other women out in the same way. This assists you in better gauging their interest, or lack, through multiple experiences. After awhile, it becomes instinct. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BritishBullDog123 Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I would say she's not interested. If you scroll down I go in to detail to why that happened. Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 She said YES 2 times now to go for coffee with you. What are you waiting for to make a real invitation with a time and place? If a man tells me 'wanna go for a coffee sometimes' I reply 'ya sure' then I wait. I wait for a real invitation with a time and a place to come. I am not going to finish his job. You threw the invite in the air so it's your job to close the deal. Not her job. I agree. OP, you are headed straight to the friendzone with this girl if you continue to act timid and uncertain in your interactions with her. You need to be more decisive. You mentioned she's giving mixed signals. A vague, noncomittal invitation engenders a vague noncommittal response. As Gaeta said, you need to close her by asking her out for a specific date and time. This is the easy part, imo. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BritishBullDog123 Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 I agree. OP, you are headed straight to the friendzone with this girl if you continue to act timid and uncertain in your interactions with her. You need to be more decisive. You mentioned she's giving mixed signals. A vague, noncomittal invitation engenders a vague noncommittal response. As Gaeta said, you need to close her by asking her out for a specific date and time. This is the easy part, imo. Fair comment. I think I will ask her in a few days and specify a time, date and place. I don't want to ask her to far ahead. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Fair comment. I think I will ask her in a few days and specify a time, date and place. I don't want to ask her to far ahead. Why wait? By the time you get round to it, she may have another date lined up. This is just coffee, not some highly complicated date that needs days to prepare for. Sooner the better. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BritishBullDog123 Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Why wait? By the time you get round to it, she may have another date lined up. This is just coffee, not some highly complicated date that needs days to prepare for. Sooner the better. I guess because I don't want to come across too keen/needy Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Why wait? By the time you get round to it, she may have another date lined up. This is just coffee, not some highly complicated date that needs days to prepare for. Sooner the better. Agreed. Women get hit on all the time. In the time you spend delaying asking her for a date, she could meet some guy who doesn't hesitate to seal the deal. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I guess because I don't want to come across too keen/needy You haven't asked her for a date properly and you have been fairly lack lustre on your contact with her, what makes you think she will be waiting for you to ask her out... You have to show keenness to go on a date, otherwise she will bin you or flake on you, as you will be put in the "he is not interested" category . No-one wants to go out with some guy who doesn't appear keen. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BritishBullDog123 Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 Don't you think it's far too early to set a specific time and place? Even though she said yes but it's over a week away the day I plan on meeting?? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Don't you think it's far too early to set a specific time and place? Even though she said yes but it's over a week away the day I plan on meeting?? It's been dragging since last November. I don't think setting a time and place a week ahead of time is over-doing it. It will just make you look like you are finally serious about getting that coffee together! Link to post Share on other sites
Author BritishBullDog123 Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 It's been dragging since last November. I don't think setting a time and place a week ahead of time is over-doing it. It will just make you look like you are finally serious about getting that coffee together! Well it's done now. I specified on a date and place just waiting for her to get back to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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