CollegeGirl300 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Hi everyone. I'm not new here, I just forgot my email and decided to create a new account! Anyway, my bf of 8 months is super touchy feely. And I'm not the type of person that likes that at all. I have a history of sexual abuse, so certain touches causes me to become insecure, angry, or I just shut down completely. And my bf knows this. But, I notice whenever he comes over to watch a movie or hang out and we're talking on the couch abruptly he'll touch my chest or my bottom. And despite my protest, he'll stop and do it again 5 minutes later. The worst thing he does is forcibly kiss me. Meaning if I give him an innocent peck on the lips he'll forcibly hold my down, so I can continue to kiss him Even when I sit him down and explain to him that I do not like when does that. He says he "understands", but at the same times says he has "boyfriend privileges". I'm not sure if its because he's young (he's 19) and is hard hearing , but I'm at my breaking point. I'm about to sit down with him again about this. But, a part of me feels bad for him because on a sexual level we do not do anything and I want to try to keep it that way. He claims he wants to do the same. But, based upon his actions I'm not too sure. So, how can I go about talking to him about how I feel the second time around? Link to post Share on other sites
Ebelskiver Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 This guy is not respecting your body or you! He is young but that makes his behavior even more troubling. He should be nervous to touch you, not holding you down! You can sit him down again, but if you want him to really hear what you are saying you have to be willing to break up with him because of it. As it stands now I would tell him if he does that to you ever again, that you will leave him an will never look back. And then do it! Link to post Share on other sites
BeatsByDirk Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 That's really not ok! Dudes can't touch a woman in any way woman doesn't want to be touched. I'm not an advocate for written consent, application consent, yes means yes legislature, alchohol+sex=rape umbrella policies but when a man interacts with a woman physically and she protests, the man must cease advances until the greenlight has been given again. This dude is not cool. He needs to respect every word you've said. The fact that he's crossed the line after you've warmed him and told him your background should be enough for you to leave. It's not wrong up consider how some people who have been abused in a relationship can reason a way to forgive or lessen the offense in thier mind but I believe that people who have been in abusive relationships seek out it attract abusers in future relationships, especially at a lesser degree. That lesser degree can escalate. Be smart and protect yourself, be clear and be firm. Expect nothing less than respect to your person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bigbill647 Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I agree with the others. What he's doing is wrong and you need to make that clear to him. If he's not willing to stop then you should leave and find someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
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