jinnlee Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 We have been together for a few weeks now. The last time I talked to him, he said his phone was not working properly. He called me from a friend's phone and promised that he will call me back, and he hasn't. He has not been on Facebook either. He just got out of a relationship right before me. I fear that maybe he just doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I hope this isn't the case because he seems really into me and confesses his love to me every time we talk. Btw we are long distance which makes me nervousness worse. Please help me. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 We have been together for a few weeks now. The last time I talked to him, he said his phone was not working properly. He called me from a friend's phone and promised that he will call me back, and he hasn't. He has not been on Facebook either. He just got out of a relationship right before me. I fear that maybe he just doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I hope this isn't the case because he seems really into me and confesses his love to me every time we talk. Btw we are long distance which makes me nervousness worse. Please help me. How soon before you? why would you consider dating someone fresh out of a relationship? There is a chance that he's back in contact with his ex if it was that fresh 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jinnlee Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 I'm not exactly sure. No more than a month I believe. I know I shouldn't have but since I was fresh out of a relationship too I didn't think much of it. He's been pretty convincing about not being in love with his ex anymore. Idk I hope that is not what it is. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 You are placing too much hope onto someone who doesn't seem to be interested in you. There's nothing here for you. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Both of you could be on the rebound and hes ending it first, I think you're both walking a fine line dating so soon after your relationships. Since you're LD id say him being convincing isn't enough words are words actions are another thing. Have you even met him? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 He tells you that he loves you after just three weeks and you haven't heard from him in two days? When did you sleep with him...three days ago? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 We have been together for a few weeks now. The last time I talked to him, he said his phone was not working properly. He called me from a friend's phone and promised that he will call me back, and he hasn't. He has not been on Facebook either. He just got out of a relationship right before me. I fear that maybe he just doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I hope this isn't the case because he seems really into me and confesses his love to me every time we talk. Btw we are long distance which makes me nervousness worse. Please help me. It is unlikely that you can or should be calling this man your boyfriend so soon. You should not be having expectations from him on any level at this point. Not only that, you are fretting over a 2 day disconnect? Stop thinking about it. Wait for him to call you Period. No matter how long it takes. If you were in a "relationship" for longer than this, I'd advise you to send a light text or call him, but not at this point. Not only that, you may be manfacturing scenarios in your head already that may not really exist. You have no idea what's happening right now. Time will tell the tale. If his phone is broken, he did make the effort to call you from another phone. What reason to you have at this point to worry that he doesn't want to talk to you anymore. If you are feeling this way, there must be some other heads up you've gotten recently to cause this. Otherwise, you're overthinking it. Further, you say he's just gotten out of a relationship a month ago and now he's dating you. That's ok if he wants to date. He can and should do that on a very casual basis. When/if you hear from him again, you should talk to him about what you want for yourself out of your dating experiences in general and make sure you two are on the same page. It seems to me you are more invested in this than you should be and he may not be ready to invest in anyone. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jinnlee Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 You are right, I know. When we first started interacting with each other, we clicked. & we haven't met yet he's 4 hours away from me. But he always brought up wanting to come and visit & would even move closer to me. I just don't understand why he hasn't even tried to contact me yet. I understand if his phone is not working but if u really like someone wouldn't you try to contact them regardless? im surprised and it hurts a little Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 You are right, I know. When we first started interacting with each other, we clicked. & we haven't met yet he's 4 hours away from me. But he always brought up wanting to come and visit & would even move closer to me. I just don't understand why he hasn't even tried to contact me yet. I understand if his phone is not working but if u really like someone wouldn't you try to contact them regardless? im surprised and it hurts a little Until you guys meet and start dating for real I wouldnt hold any expectations to him or consider he owes you anything or even consider him your boyfriend yet... Until you meet its all words just pretty words. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
rocketman122 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I think the ex might have come back into the picture. I dated two women after recently breaking up with my ex and I still have strong feelings for her. I go out with the women because I need affection but my heart is with her. I think the situation MAY be the same. he wants to but his heart may still be with her. this is my guess only. 2 days..sounds very iffy. no skype, no email, no fax, no snail mail..I dont know but I dont see any reason a person can think of not have contact. Tsipi ohev otach. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 You are right, I know. When we first started interacting with each other, we clicked. & we haven't met yet he's 4 hours away from me. But he always brought up wanting to come and visit & would even move closer to me. I just don't understand why he hasn't even tried to contact me yet. I understand if his phone is not working but if u really like someone wouldn't you try to contact them regardless? im surprised and it hurts a little He is not your boyfriend. He's just some guy you've been talking to. He owes you nothing and you shouldn't be expecting anything from him. You don't know if he really likes you and he doesn't know if he really likes you. How could either of you know that now? I'd say, if anything, he's struggling with the break up and lonely. He found someone on the internet to entertain and distract himself from his feelings. Go out with your friends and have some fun. Don't spend another minute being hurt by a GHOST. He's not hurting you, you are hurting yourself. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author jinnlee Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 Thanks for the advice guys. We haven't slept together because we haven't met yet. We have skyped and sent pics but that's it. Also he's the one that acted more invested in me then I did with him. We havent said we loved eachother btw, but he has said he cares deeply about me and has love for me. That's why I'm confused because when we talk he all into me and the conversation but now its like he hasn't made any effort to contact me like he can. But I do feel that I am over thinking the situation. I just wouldn't do this if I really liked someone. Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 You need to work on your neediness if you can't handle 2 days without communication. Even worse is he warned you of an upcoming problem. Adults can handle a good week without contact. We have our lives, and work, and friends, and children to worry about. Must be nice to have so much time to worry about your next text message. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jinnlee Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 You need to work on your neediness if you can't handle 2 days without communication. Even worse is he warned you of an upcoming problem. Adults can handle a good week without contact. We have our lives, and work, and friends, and children to worry about. Must be nice to have so much time to worry about your next text message. Its not that I can't handle it, but the situation itself is the problem. I would be fine with little communication if this wasn't long distance. But I get your point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Its not that I can't handle it, but the situation itself is the problem. I would be fine with little communication if this wasn't long distance. But I get your point. I wouldnt consider or take anything he says to heart until you meet him in person none of it is real until then. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 This is crazy. He is not your boyfriend. He can't love you since he never met you. This is not a relationship. And yes, it's a good chance he'll disappear. I'm sorry. You need to work on yourself and find men that are local and do not call them your boyfriend before you meet them. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Girl, you are getting so far ahead of yourself. You're not boyfriend-girlfriend. That's a designation reserved for people who have been dating for a while and decide together to take that step. You're not the only poster on LS to get over-invested early-on, it's very common. Sure, maybe this guy seemed "into you" and professing "love for you," but let's be serious—you've never met! You barely know each other, and as such you're basing your feelings off of some fantasy version of each other. That's not realistic. I feel like you will still hear from him. It's been two days, big whoop. If he does get back in contact, I'd advise you to pull WAY BACK emotionally and not get so invested until you two have a chance to get to know each other in person, in real life. None of this Skype/online stuff. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 If you haven't heard from him within a few more days after this, shoot him a text and say something breezy like "Hey where've you been?" If he doesn't respond (as the ball is in his court then), then it's done with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 You are right, I know. When we first started interacting with each other, we clicked. & we haven't met yet he's 4 hours away from me. But he always brought up wanting to come and visit & would even move closer to me. I just don't understand why he hasn't even tried to contact me yet. I understand if his phone is not working but if u really like someone wouldn't you try to contact them regardless? im surprised and it hurts a little Oh for goodness sakes, you haven’t even MET him and you’re calling him “your boyfriend”. He professes his “love” for you and he hasn’t MET you? And he is 4 yrs away? You haven’t even been out on a date with him. (I’m sure he has excuses…..too busy…etc.) 2 days isn’t all that long, but you need to stop stressing, go on and live your life and be open to actually dating others. That’s the way you get a real boyfriend. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 It's a fantasy verging on delusion. Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 (edited) Hate to say it but my guess is there is no "ex" - he has a wife/real girlfriend. He probably also has several online "girlfriends" just like you and is telling them all he loves them. That "broken cell phone" story is a way of keeping you hanging on in the background while he fades away. He might be 4 hrs away or he might be 4 minutes away just around the corner, but he doesn't want you checking him out and he doesn't want you expecting calls because he is getting ready to bail. Edited January 28, 2015 by applej4 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I think the bigger concern is why you agreed to be a virtual stranger's girlfriend. Who suggested that? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 & we haven't met yet he's 4 hours away from me. Sorry, but he isn't your boyfriend. You'd do better finding someone MUCH closer than this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
freetolove Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 Find something to get your mind off of it. The more you think about it the more he will run away. Give him so space to work things out. esp since he just got out of a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 If he got back together with his ex, he could be lying about the phone so you won't call when she's around. Regardless of how intense things felt between the two of you, you haven't known each other that long and haven't met in person. There's a lot that he could have hidden from you. And if his feelings came on that quickly, they could disappear just as quickly. It's naive to think you have anything certain already. Wait to see if he calls you back. If he does, don't take anything too seriously until you've known him longer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts