liel Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Bf and I have been dating for close to a year, and we have been talking about taking a first trip together in the summer. We've discussed a little of when and where to go and just started looking into it a little more seriously. However, just the past week my parents had mentioned to me they wanted me to go on a family vacation with them and my brother sensibly around the same time and also to Europe though a different country. I'm really conflicted as of to whom I should give the priority. On one hand, I'm really looking forward to travel with boyfriend and I know that the trip will be more fun as it would be *my* trip (ie, what I plan to visit and do etc) and my preferred destination out of the two. On the other hand taking trips as a family is very important to my parents, and it'll be a big trip for my brother and I know he'll like to have me there. But I had agreed to travel with boyfriend before I knew of my parents' plan. I'd like to know what would you guys prioritize in this case? Trip with family or with boyfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Can you do the trip with your bf at a different date? It's usually easier and more flexible to schedule a two-person vacation around than a 4-person vacation. If at all possible I'd do this, and try to go for both. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveRefreshed Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 I handle these situations like I handle almost any in the real world. I go with whom I've made the commitment to first. It's the only way to maintain integrity. The other person asked while you have a commitment and you say no, which is a perfectly reasonable response to requests; this way you don't break your word. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liel Posted January 27, 2015 Author Share Posted January 27, 2015 Can you do the trip with your bf at a different date? It's usually easier and more flexible to schedule a two-person vacation around than a 4-person vacation. If at all possible I'd do this, and try to go for both. I can take a shorter vacation with whoever i decide not to go to Europe with but to a closer destination, or postpone trip until Christmas or next year. I do think it'll be easier to change the plans i have with bf. Whereas is more likely that my family would just go without me. I just feel bad as I had agreed to go with bf first... Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Your boyfriend should be your priority of course. You are an adult, your parents have to get used to the fact that you have your own life now. This shouldn't even come up and they shouldn't place expectations on you, time to cut the apron strings. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted January 27, 2015 Share Posted January 27, 2015 Agree with Emilia. You should put priority on building the relationship with your boyfriend. Your family will and should understand. If they get upset, they'll get over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 I can take a shorter vacation with whoever i decide not to go to Europe with but to a closer destination, or postpone trip until Christmas or next year. I do think it'll be easier to change the plans i have with bf. Whereas is more likely that my family would just go without me. I just feel bad as I had agreed to go with bf first... Oh, so you can't go to Europe with your boyfriend if you go with your family? In that case I think you should stick with the person you made the initial commitment with (in this case your boyfriend). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author liel Posted January 28, 2015 Author Share Posted January 28, 2015 (edited) I will only be able to go to Europe either in January or the summer after this one with bf as I don't have the means to go twice in a summer. The only way I can think of going to both is that I go to a less expensive destination with bf. I was the one who wanted to go to Europe in the first place in summer so I don't think bf would necessarily mind the change of destination in itself. But I'm going back on my words and it feels like saying that my family has priority over him in this case. And I'm not sure if first big trip with brother (we're very close and he's just turned 18) should indeed have priority over first trip with boyfriend. Edited January 28, 2015 by liel Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted January 28, 2015 Share Posted January 28, 2015 If you are able to do both just one needs to be shorter why not take that route and just accept that you will have less time together and did your best that way both sides are happy. If not.... I agree stick to you who promised first your boyfriend and explain to your family that you already made the commitment if they are a reasonable bunch they will understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 The only way I can think of going to both is that I go to a less expensive destination with bf. I was the one who wanted to go to Europe in the first place in summer so I don't think bf would necessarily mind the change of destination in itself. Talk to him about it and see, then. Link to post Share on other sites
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