ziggue Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 This guy and I had a thing together. Slept together once but that was it. I still like him. Past tense now. My friend met him the same night I did. We all hung out together. I was trying to establish something with hi. But then she would always be there. In his face and taking over. Ends up taking his interest more as I sidelined. They get closer because of that. They have kids to. Another thing she used to get closer to him. End up speaking to him about the situation, as I suspected. They are pretty much together now. Can't believe she did that to me. She knew I had strong feelings for him. Just very pissed off! Lately when we have gone out she has disregarded my feelings, putting her sexual needs ahead of mine (having to be stuck with her while she did this), she cut my grass a couple of times as well. Even with a guy I knew who was taken. Mentioned it to her. She still went for him. I would have made a move if he was not taken. Another who I was hot for. I said no I like him. She still invites him out for drinks with us but he declined he had a girlfriend to. I've invited her out. Helped her through her current break up and this is the thanks I get. Just still numb from it all and very, very hurt. I am surprised a guy would be interested in someone who has no morals and can't be single for 5 minutes. Guess these are the type of girls who get the guys. :-(. Link to post Share on other sites
Lokin4AReason Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 doesn't sound like a good friend IMO =0( next time leave her out of it and not mention a thing to her .... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Two things 1. These men do not "belong" to you so you have no say in them dating you or your friend. Its just as it is and if they prefer her to you - well thats boo sucks I am afraid. 2. If you are so miserable with her being such a bad friend to you why on earth are you still hanging about with her? It really is that simple. Stop wingeing and start changing the things you don't like. You don't have to be bitchy or nasty just honest. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 When you go out to meet people....stop inviting her! Go it alone.... Oh and also you can start up conversations with guys you aren't interested in then when she takes over,you walk away and go to the guy you are really interested in! Lol.... I had a friend just like her..... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 This guy and I had a thing together. Slept together once but that was it. I still like him. Past tense now. My friend met him the same night I did. We all hung out together. I was trying to establish something with hi. But then she would always be there. In his face and taking over. Ends up taking his interest more as I sidelined. They get closer because of that. They have kids to. Another thing she used to get closer to him. End up speaking to him about the situation, as I suspected. They are pretty much together now. Can't believe she did that to me. She knew I had strong feelings for him. Just very pissed off! Lately when we have gone out she has disregarded my feelings, putting her sexual needs ahead of mine (having to be stuck with her while she did this), she cut my grass a couple of times as well. Even with a guy I knew who was taken. Mentioned it to her. She still went for him. I would have made a move if he was not taken. Another who I was hot for. I said no I like him. She still invites him out for drinks with us but he declined he had a girlfriend to. I've invited her out. Helped her through her current break up and this is the thanks I get. Just still numb from it all and very, very hurt. I am surprised a guy would be interested in someone who has no morals and can't be single for 5 minutes. Guess these are the type of girls who get the guys. :-(. She didn't steal anyone. You were not in a committed relationship and you were obviously way more invested in someone than you should have been given that fact. Yes, it stings to know that a friend is with someone you had an interest in, however, his interest in you was not strong enough for him to pass on someone else's interest. This not about stealing, it is about a lack of mutual interest. She took over because he allowed her to ban wasn't invested in you. It doesn't mean he was yours just because you slept together. It appears you two didn't have a discussion about what you each wanted prior to or after you slept together. Take solace in realizing that he was not the one for you. The dignfied, mature response it to let it go. You can decide to remain friends with her or not. It sounds like perhaps you don't really care for her as a friend anyway if you feel she has no morals in general. You don't need friends like that anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
HVW_Mark Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 2. If you are so miserable with her being such a bad friend to you why on earth are you still hanging about with her? +1 to this Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Two things going on here. One, you had your shot with him. If you slept with him once and then he didn't pursue you, he wasn't interested anymore. The other is if you feel this friend has done this before and will do it again, then get her out of your life, but she's not why you're not with the guy. If you met him at the same time, she may feel she has an equal right in this instance. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 This Woman is not your friend. She's your skanky acquaintance. Act accordingly. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I've read this exact same situation recently here on this board. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I've read this exact same situation recently here on this board. this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/509249-my-friend-being-inappropriate-towards-guy-i-like-knowing-we-had-thing Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 This guy and I had a thing together. Slept together once but that was it. I still like him. Past tense now. Ends up taking his interest more as I sidelined. Can't believe she did that to me. She knew I had strong feelings for him. You sidelined yourself, so she stepped in. You should have made your feelings known if you were into him. Sex is not a contract to an exclusive, committed relationship. He didn't owe you anything just because you two screwed. You had unexpressed expectations that you kept to yourself and expected him to read your mind. He didn't. He most likely took your sidelining (aka--disinterest) as a clue that things had cooled off for you. Just very pissed off! Lately when we have gone out she has disregarded my feelings, putting her sexual needs ahead of mine (having to be stuck with her while she did this), she cut my grass a couple of times as well. what does that mean--"she cut my grass a couple of times"? You two have had sex with each other? Even with a guy I knew who was taken. Mentioned it to her. She still went for him. I would have made a move if he was not taken. Another who I was hot for. I said no I like him. She still invites him out for drinks with us but he declined he had a girlfriend to. I've invited her out. Helped her through her current break up and this is the thanks I get. Just still numb from it all and very, very hurt. I am surprised a guy would be interested in someone who has no morals and can't be single for 5 minutes. Guess these are the type of girls who get the guys. :-(. They don't know that she doesn't have morals upon first meeting. They see a outgoing, friendly, social girl who is doing most of the heavy lifting as far as showing interest. Chances are, they are more amused than they are truly interested, kind of like a one-trick pony at the circus. I had (notice the tense of that verb) a friend like that, too. Couldn't take her anywhere because she thought every man was interested in her. No one could have a conversation with a guy because she would interrupt it and start going HAM with the sexual talk. It got to the point where I had to cut off the relationship because her interfering went way too far when she went after a guy who was interested in my sister. Your friend is best left out of the loop when you go out--and certainly, she's best left out of knowing who you like. Link to post Share on other sites
Ebelskiver Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 2 things: It does sound as if she has a bit of a competitive streak with you as far as men go. As if she wants to one-up you and prove she is more attractive. This is high-school level friendship and I wouldn't bother with her if it bothers you. I have a friend who occasionally puts me down in subtle ways, however, I realize it's just her own insecurities and she really rocks as a friend in other regards so it really doesn't bother me. I think of it as one of her quirks. You need to decide if this is something that you can deal with. It doesn't sound like it. Secondly, he's not yours and neither is she. Their decisions are theirs to make. One sexual encounter does not make a man beholden to you in any way. He was not your boyfriend or husband. That said it was a bit icky on her part, but if you are good friends your attitude should be, "I hope you two are happy, good luck!" Link to post Share on other sites
Zombre Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 I know he does not belong to me but she has been after him pretty much 2 weeks after I slept with him. She knew I had feelings for him and still dangled herself in front of him and knew what she was doing. That is what I am mainly angry about. Yes I had a feeling she was trying to compete with me with men to make herself look better. She has done it with another friend to. It worked both times. Kendahke. That is exactly how she acted. Just like your friend. When they first met that is what she was mainly going on about. Then somehow he and I ended up hooking up and she still would not let up, even though she knew I had a thing with him and feeling and went after him. No. I have ended the friendship. Kicking myself I did not do it sooner. After the night she hit on someone I specifically told her I had the hots for. After her excuse was, I just want to invite him out with us for drinks. Yeah ****ing right. That is when I should have ended it. Before this happened. No I was not going to invite her out to anything else. Just day time stuff and dinners. I guess even at the local. I live in a small beach town. I still got duped after dinner. Expected that more in the City not that place. I know I may sound a bit jealous. Probably am. Just so angry. It is coming a cross like that and just need to vent. Had never had to deal with this from any of my friends before. Just in disbelief. How she manipulated the whole situation to get him to like her right under my nose. And no not friends with either of them anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Ebelskiver Posted January 15, 2015 Share Posted January 15, 2015 Read up on Borderline Personality Disorder. I had a girlfriend who kissed my bf! Ended up she was BPD, they can be charming and fun but they will stab you in the back. Link to post Share on other sites
maysj18 Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 This issue isn't him; the issue is how she treats you. No good friend would do those things knowing their friend liked the guy. I was friends with a girl in high school who was so outgoing and sure of herself, that she got everyone while I was always third wheel because of how shy I was. If I mentioned I liked someone and we started hanging out as friends, she would tag along and run the show. Me, being the passive girl I was, would just let it happen and would never stand up to her. Sure, it sucked the guy had eyes for someone else, but the worst part was that she was consciously going after people that I liked. Well, that was early high school. I grew into myself and started branching out more. I ended up 'talking' with someone who she had a small crush on THREE YEARS before this time. By crush, I mean we all went miniature golfing once and then he moved away and she never spoke of him again. Well, he moved back and started working at the same place she worked. She told me every day how much she hated him and how annoying he was, but the second he and I run into each other and he asks me out, she flips her ****. Tells me that "You knew I was in love with him!" and basically didn't talk to me for months. Hilarious considering how she treated me years before. Moral of the story is that these types of attention obsessed people usually end up being absolutely insane- she has went off the deep end several times and has taken up some crazy religions in the past that she abandons after so long and is a heavy drug user. So yeah, I'd kind of stop hanging out with this girl just from past experience. They tend to be nut jobs. Link to post Share on other sites
Lokin4AReason Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I have to agree w/ " MAYSJ18 " these kind of girl(s) have nothing but drama associated w/ them =0/ Link to post Share on other sites
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