deesw8 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 (edited) I arranged a business meeting with an ex-boss of mine almost two months ago and met at his new office in his new company. He is around 50. We chatted maybe 4 times before the meeting. I am single and he is not married. I don't know him all that well but he has a stellar reputation in the business which is why I presented him a business idea of mine, 10 pages, and asked for feedbacks. He promised on the spot he would read it at home. What was interesting was he was quite nervous to see me, and his facial expression and body language told me that he was attracted to me on some level, and he even told me that he was making double the salary than at the previous firm which was a bit surprising to me as he just volunteered the information without me asking. That was the first time he showed me that on a personal level. I dropped an email to him after our meeting to thank him and after a couple weeks another one to check if he has gotten a chance to read it, but he never replied to either one. This puzzles me as it seemed to me he was quite enthusiastic to see me and all. I wonder how come he is not saying anything, could it be he felt he showed a weakness to me ? Edited December 17, 2014 by deesw8 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 He doesn't want to see you and is getting on with work. Thats how I interpret it anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 There's no chance he could be stealing your ideas and using them for his own purposes and credit, is there.....? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author deesw8 Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 i came up with that is new, it is more an idea how to put money together to build something. He is at a position where if he is truly interested in something like that, he would have started a long time ago. Link to post Share on other sites
evanescentworld Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Maybe he's chronically shy and scared of making a fool of himself. Try approaching him bluntly, or calling him and suggesting a drink... Speak to him in person. That's really the only way to get any discernible answer... Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 I arranged a business meeting with an ex-boss of mine almost two months ago and met at his new office in his new company. He is around 50. We chatted maybe 4 times before the meeting. I am single and he is not married. I don't know him all that well but he has a stellar reputation in the business which is why I presented him a business idea of mine, 10 pages, and asked for feedbacks. He promised on the spot he would read it at home. What was interesting was he was quite nervous to see me, and his facial expression and body language told me that he was attracted to me on some level, and he even told me that he was making double the salary than at the previous firm which was a bit surprising to me as he just volunteered the information without me asking. That was the first time he showed me that on a personal level. I dropped an email to him after our meeting to thank him and after a couple weeks another one to check if he has gotten a chance to read it, but he never replied to either one. This puzzles me as it seemed to me he was quite enthusiastic to see me and all. I wonder how come he is not saying anything, could it be he felt he showed a weakness to me ? Arrange another business meeting to discuss your proposal, good or bad, you deserve some feedback. Put the thought he may be interested in you to the back of your mind, your business idea is what matters first and foremost here surely? Link to post Share on other sites
yessy21 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 There's no chance he could be stealing your ideas and using them for his own purposes and credit, is there.....? hopefully she got her ideas documented in a way that he wont use them as his own. if not hes going to ruin her. Link to post Share on other sites
deathandtaxes Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Two emails without a response? He's definitely not interested in ANYTHING, be it personal or professional. Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 You are asking an ex-boss to read and provide feedback on a 10-page business proposal. He has a new job and probably has no time for that, sees no benefit to him, and therefore hasn't read through it. Why wouldn't you have given this to him while he was working at the same company? Why present it to him now? And it sounds like you are trying to present this business idea to him in the hopes he will date you. A more effective approach would be to ask him out for a drink or cup of coffee. Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Business or otherwise he doesn't want to take this further. He would have replied if he did want to. Respect his choice. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author deesw8 Posted December 17, 2014 Author Share Posted December 17, 2014 Thanks for your response, i know what you are saying, and that's what it may seem like, but there're details i didn't mention which makes it more complicated- he called me once after he parted, and dropped hints for me to work for him, then afterwards i did try to arrange just to have lunch or cafe together, but he didn't seem to want to, he agreed to a time but he decided to just meet in the office, since he was the one gave me the impression he wants to talk about business, and i in fact was thinking about my business idea for a few months but didn't have it written down, so i decided it was a good time to show him. His in-person reaction as i mentioned was totally unexpected, i never sensed it on the phone or in person before that. Link to post Share on other sites
Bellaisa Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 To me, it sounds like he is interested in you and feels that maybe it is wrong on some level - or he is nervous about it. Either way, it is easier not to deal with it than it is to deal with it for him. This just be something that doesn't work out in business or personal terms. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Thanks for your response, i know what you are saying, and that's what it may seem like, but there're details i didn't mention which makes it more complicated- he called me once after he parted, and dropped hints for me to work for him, then afterwards i did try to arrange just to have lunch or cafe together, but he didn't seem to want to, he agreed to a time but he decided to just meet in the office, since he was the one gave me the impression he wants to talk about business, and i in fact was thinking about my business idea for a few months but didn't have it written down, so i decided it was a good time to show him. His in-person reaction as i mentioned was totally unexpected, i never sensed it on the phone or in person before that. You already have your answer. He doesn't want to meet outside work, it seems. After two emails, I'd let it go. He clearly isn't making you or your proposal a priority. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 17, 2014 Share Posted December 17, 2014 Are you sending to his business email, because perhaps your emails are being filtered out by a secretary/business colleague who maybe wants to protect their own job. I know that can and does happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deesw8 Posted December 18, 2014 Author Share Posted December 18, 2014 Hi Bellaisa, Thank you and what you said made sense - it was my intuition as well. I don't want to just give up that easily though- I do feel there is a connection. Our circle is not so big so I can try to catch him in the next reception, etc, but, what then should i say to him? clearly i can't mention really so seriously about the business plan. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted December 18, 2014 Share Posted December 18, 2014 How do you know he doesn't have a girlfriend? Link to post Share on other sites
Author deesw8 Posted December 20, 2014 Author Share Posted December 20, 2014 Hi, You are right, he probably does, or some long term partner. However, obviously i can't really ask that question, i can probably find out through mutual friends, but i at least want things to be not awkward between us in public, so just not sure what to say. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Normally, in a business matter, you would be polite and answer a person because you never know where they could turn up down the road in your industry. So this tells me that he is either really wanting to avoid you and not at all interested in your proposal and doesn't want to be put on the spot or that he felt it was a personal come-on and isn't interested in that either and feels he can't do one without the other coming into play. Either way, it's his move, not yours. If he hadn't read the proposal yet, he could have said that. If he thought it was ridiculous, he might not want to say that and just avoid you. If he feels you are crushing on him, he may not like that. If he did, you'd certainly have heard from him pronto. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deesw8 Posted December 20, 2014 Author Share Posted December 20, 2014 Thank you. So I guess it's better to just do nothing, or, it may make things more awkward. Your explanation is insightful, but i'm still puzzled about one thing- when I initially contacted him I sent a note, it was more of a friendly gesture to just have a drink, I didn't talk about business at all, h was the one that initiated a conversation about business on the phone. So if he really hated me, he wouldn't have called, and later when we met, he wouldn't have reacted all nervous and stuff, I kind of saw another side of him i never did before. so that part I don't get. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Thank you. So I guess it's better to just do nothing, or, it may make things more awkward. Your explanation is insightful, but i'm still puzzled about one thing- when I initially contacted him I sent a note, it was more of a friendly gesture to just have a drink, I didn't talk about business at all, h was the one that initiated a conversation about business on the phone. So if he really hated me, he wouldn't have called, and later when we met, he wouldn't have reacted all nervous and stuff, I kind of saw another side of him i never did before. so that part I don't get. He doesn't hate you. He saw that as a business call. I think you're reading far more into this because you want him to like you. But I'm not really seeing any real indication of that. It's better to do nothing more, in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 I think to him it was a business call. It's not unusual for business associates to get a little personal outside the office over dinner or whatever. I think he assumed it was business and that he also knows you have a crush or maybe he's confused but either way, he's not interested or he'd have responded. Now, with people, and business, you never know, he might yet respond. But it is definitely not your place at this point to keep contacting him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author deesw8 Posted December 21, 2014 Author Share Posted December 21, 2014 Thanks guys, I think I get it now, simply no way to know exactly what is going on in his mind. You are right, people are complex, perhaps it was not so black and white, business or personal, and he was nervous or bragged about his income without thinking about it even. Only time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
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