Stressed Out and Angry

[frozengirl]

Have any of you ever dated someone that would get stressed out and angry to the point of that they couldn't think right so then they wouldn't even talk to you at all?

 

Not that them being stressed and angry was due to you but for other matters, that they couldn't think right that they couldn't even bother to text or call you to cancel a date or tell you something was wrong?

 

They would just leave you hanging and not talk period. I've dealt with this but part of me wants to believe it but part of me thinks if the guy isn't talking then perhaps they lost interest.

[Dontfindme]

Nope - and if such a person were ever in my life, well...they wouldn't be.

 

I'm sure he wouldn't be stressed out and angry and treating his boss/coworkers the same way, leaving them hanging, not responding to them - right? I'm sure he knows how to behave then. Why should it be different with a lover?

[Gloria25]

IMO, they should tell you "something".

 

I tell people that I'm close to like "this isn't a good time", "I need some alone time"...Or, I'll text.

 

Maybe he won't say anything cuz a lot of women like to "press" a guy to talk.

 

I was watching that horrible Jack Ryan movie and hated Kiera Knightly's character. I mean, dude works for CIA. She kept on nagging and nagging and he finally broke down and told her what she did and she still kept on pressing, got involved and almost killed.

[Parisian]

Have any of you ever dated someone that would get stressed out and angry to the point of that they couldn't think right so then they wouldn't even talk to you at all?

 

Not that them being stressed and angry was due to you but for other matters, that they couldn't think right that they couldn't even bother to text or call you to cancel a date or tell you something was wrong?

 

They would just leave you hanging and not talk period. I've dealt with this but part of me wants to believe it but part of me thinks if the guy isn't talking then perhaps they lost interest.

 

Run away from such people as far as you can. I dated this girl for the last 4 years. She had anger/anxiety issues and would leave me waiting for her at the date venue without letting me know that she wasnt coming. Any relationship issues and she would stop communicating, switch off her phone or not call back at all for a day or two and then apologize profusely.

 

3 years back I proposed to her (a surprise) on the top of eiffel tower. She eventually cheated on me (which I found out on my surprise visit for her in Italy, where she was for a conference) again due to anger in our relationship. After she apologized again, I was so naive and such an idiot to take her back. Two weeks back when I didnt like something and I expressed it to her so we can sort it out, the bit** thought I was ordering her, got angry and had the audacity to block all my calls and sms. She was expecting me to call her from a different number. I stopped being her bit** this time and went NC.

 

Unblocked me last week, said sorry for blocking me, sent me a breakup message over sms and blocked me again, all within 3 hours. During 4 years, she would be emotionally involved one moment and angered the next.

 

Such people clearly dont understand themselves and they need anger therapy. Run as far as you can from him or you will end up debasing and hurting yourself.

Edited December 14, 2014 by Parisian

[shet]

Listen to Parisian. The most involved I got with a woman in years was someone like this. Parisians post gives me PTSD flashbacks. People can get mad, can get stressed, but to cut contact is to turn a basic social principle, talking, into a weapon. Especially when it's got **** all to do with you but they still just don't respond for days or weeks. These people are best off living in their own little world until they get a clue, many miles and years distant from you.

[Danda]

If they refuse to at least tell you that they are going through some **** at the moment and don't feel fit for conversation, but instead just go totally silent / MIA on you, then they are punishing you for their emotions, which is warped.

 

They leave you feeling

- Disrespected

- Not Valued

- Worried / Anxious

- Confused

- Frustrated

 

And so on, and they apparently don't care, when it would be so easy to avoid all of that just by sending at least a quick text to explain things.

 

Run, Forest, Run

[frozengirl]

This stress and angry has nothing to do with him or I. These problems are between him and other people. He had told me simply "I just like to distance myself when angry because I vent like heavily and I didn't want to show you that side of me".

[Parisian]

This stress and angry has nothing to do with him or I. These problems are between him and other people. He had told me simply "I just like to distance myself when angry because I vent like heavily and I didn't want to show you that side of me".

 

FrozenGirl: Please ensure what exactly his problem is with anger and cutting communication before you plunge into it with your heart. I just found out that my GF had BPD symptoms after I read this.

WHO'S DOING YOUR DIRTY WORK? Deconstructing Passive Aggression

[frozengirl]

Yeah he told me the issue thats been bothering him and thats why he hasn't been very talkative, I don't know, I just don't like this, to me when a guy stops talking to you that means they've lost interest etc.

[d0nnivain]

Both my husband & I are that way.

 

When we are stressed out & angry we know to stay away from the other for a while. We never want to say things in the heat of the moment that we can't take back so we back off or give the other one some space. I don't mean a lot of space . . . I mean going in the other room. I posted something here on LS earlier about how DH's antisocial behavior annoyed me at a party yesterday so I wandered away from him. When he was feeling cheerier he came to find me.

[frozengirl]

Yeah this guy spoke to me once yesturday via social media, but when he signs on social media he logs off instantly like he see's me and signs off or if I text him or call him he doesn't answer so I don't know.

[spiderowl]

If someone gets that stressed out and angry, whether with you or without you, they have a problem. If they are not getting in touch with you to meet up again, either they are not interested enough or their problem is sufficiently bad they aren't capable of a relationship. Personally, if someone can't handle their emotions sufficiently to be kind and decent to a potential girlfriend/boyfriend, they should be avoided at all costs. The last thing anyone needs is an angry person in their lives.

[Diezel]

I'm going to come clean.

 

I've done this. I've done this in the past and it is HORRIBLE. Not only for myself, but for the people around me. It took a LOT to finally admit that this is WORSE than opening up to people about what is going on with me.

 

Not only that, but at one point of my life, I lost a GREAT GIRL because I couldn't handle having her in my life as well as three different negative situations. The negative took precedence and I pushed her down a few rungs in the priority ladder.

 

Do NOT engage someone like this. You will NOT wake him up to what he is doing. I had to do it on my own once I realized how damaging my behavior was. The worst part was that I thought I was doing everyone a favor because they wouldn't get the brunt of it, or because I didn't want to burden them with my problems.

 

I did eventually reach out to that girl and told her what happened. I made no excuses for my behavior and asked for her forgiveness. She gave it to me, but now I know NOT to do that. But I'll tell you again, do not deal with it. If you don't agree with how he is treating you, find someone else who you won't have this problem with. It's one thing to need a certain amount of time alone, but I've done it for weeks, and even months. NOT, NOT, NOT healthy and you only get sucked into it. It's not fair for you either.

[frozengirl]

Well this guy and I are talking on a regular basis now and he seems fine now so all is good. Also he mentioned to me the other night about wanting to be my boyfriend even though we've only gone on 3 dates and almost dated for 1 month haha.

 

I told him I am not ready to become a couple just yet so he will wait. Honestly I don't really like him "that" much yet. I like him but I don't like him a lot. When I like a guy a lot I know it but with this guy that has happened yet.