thelonewolflegend Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 This is a girl I have seen this is 6th time now. She is a cool girl because she picks me up and hung out with me at my friends show came to my bday party and is pretty chill etc... she is 33 yrs old and here it is. first time hung out she came my place we talked only thing is we have discrpenties on dating because shes giving me the all guys are jerks she has issue and i am telling her about how women do this and that and about games and all that she acted suprised. i tried to kiss her first time she said dont know where you been. and 2nd time i tried to make move on her when watching movie i was holding her she was like i dont do kissing i played it cool these times. last night we hung out and played pool ( i know im late at it but this was only best opportunity to do flirting ) i started touching her more when playing pool and teasing her making fun of her and i was making joke about height weight next to her was holding her hand and kinda feeling her up. i thought it was going great so we watching movie im rubbing her and stuff shes like you rubbing my thigh i said yeah she said you horny i said maybe shes like not tonight and tells me guy has to say he wants to be with you to be in relastionship then want to have sex im like that doesnt work you saying you never just slept with a guy before being with him shes like im not saying i havent im like we been out 6 times and you giving me good vibe shes like i dont want you to think im not into you romantically i just walked in my officed tried to do freezeout but i felt like a butthurt sore loser not getting laid she i went back in she was trying to act like counting how many times i told her im not stupid i know she was like really paul i gotta go ok cya she wasnt too upset but like had that really? look i just said ok bye. I talked to a great guy he said that I need to no contact her and let her hamster spin but i feel like she isnt emotionally attracted enough i maybe waited to late and now im just friend and she aint sexually interested so it wouldnt matter im just some fun guy to hang out with so i need to know how can i get her sexually interested being a man etc since shes keeps rejecting me? Do I try to have sex with her next time or just never make move what do i do help?? THANKS Link to post Share on other sites
MissFree Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 (edited) She told you in the very beginning that she had issues with guys and thought they were so called "jerks". When she said that to you that should have been your first clue to play it cool. Girls who are guarded are not going to respond well to strong advances, especially, those of a sexual nature. It has probably turned her off that your focus is on getting laid and not on being in a relationship and getting to know her. If you really want to be with her then I say slow down and just enjoy her company. BUT, if you just want to smash then I say move on to the next. This girl is already fragile. She's been hurt before. And you don't want to have sex with someone like that anyway. It will surely make things quite messy. Edited December 5, 2014 by MissFree typo 1 Link to post Share on other sites
taryntan Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 You are too focused on the physical. If she is guarded she wont go on another date with you because you're sending up red flags all over the place. Link to post Share on other sites
Molly Hooper Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 I tried to read that all in one breath - but it proved challenging. From what I gathered, she feels like most men have been jerks - so she is guarded. And when she tells you she wants to move slower physically, and she wants to wait until you have gotten closer to establishing a relationship before having sex, you decide to "freeze her out" - and essentially, you act like a jerk. Way to go. I think you're going to need to pull back on the physical and let her come to you with that when she is ready. Stop being a baby about not getting laid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author thelonewolflegend Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 I was wondering if being honest helped? What if she asks if im mad? Ignores me? Or attacks me like i was bein a jerk whats best way reply change subject dont bring up? What if she ask She also making excuses like sayin can u have sex with ur foot being hurt i said yeah its fine done it before. Shouls i still flirt and kino just not make move wat?? Link to post Share on other sites
Blakely Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 She probably is ready for a serious relationship and can't determine if you're just looking for a casual hookup. Guys who come on strong, physically speaking, seem to be after more of a fling rather than a relationship. How old are you? Why don't you just get to know her a little better, as she already knows you are attracted to her. It is a little odd that she still hasn't kissed you after seeing each other 6 times though. I would see her again, maybe try to romance her a little to set the mood for a kiss? Idk. She seems like she's playing games...if I'm feeling a guy I wouldn't pass up a first kiss attempt too many times. At some point she has to be willing to show you she's into you! Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 She said " i don't want you to think i'm not into you romantically" so you should have perhaps made a light hearted remark re her refusal to have mad passionate sex with you on the spot. You then should have asked her for a little kiss maybe, as that is what romantic people do. Note she said "not tonight", she didn't say not ever. BUT you acted like a petulant little boy who has just been told he can't have an ice-cream. You sulked and insulted her by calling her out on her past sexual history and with a raise of her eyebrows and a "really Paul? I gotta go ok cya" she was gone... She gave you all the signs she wanted a serious "romantic" relationship with you, and you reduced it all to no more than a guy looking for a hook up. "All guys are jerks", she said, and she just added you to the list, I am afraid. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thelonewolflegend Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 I didnt know what to do how should i go bout it? Link to post Share on other sites
Author thelonewolflegend Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 Ice been told to go np contact on her for a while to get her hamster spinning Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 If you are looking for a hook up then leave her well alone, if you too want a serious relationship with her then you will need to eat some humble pie and almost start from scratch again with her. Ask her out to lunch perhaps, or to do something fun, nowhere she will feel like she will be pressurised into having sex, you need to put that well on the back burner if you are to have any luck here. She may well have given up on you though. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 If she has already put you in the jerk box, the hamster will be napping and you will need to work hard to get her back on side. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thelonewolflegend Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 She knows im npt jerk ive told her bput past. She saw me on stage say first time had accident and saw me gave speech tombest friend she knows im not a jerk. She gotta understand it can blpw a mans ego rejecting him np reason Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 5, 2014 Share Posted December 5, 2014 She knows im npt jerk ive told her bput past. She saw me on stage say first time had accident and saw me gave speech tombest friend she knows im not a jerk. She gotta understand it can blpw a mans ego rejecting him np reason If you know her well then do not go NC on her. It is a bit of a blow to a woman's ego to think a man only wants her for sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thelonewolflegend Posted December 5, 2014 Author Share Posted December 5, 2014 A dj told to hot her up next week say sorry ive been busy havent ignored u gpt a new trainer been workin out more and not mentipn it. What yall think i shoudl do? Shouls i never make moves anymore be honest?? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Call her, say you are sorry and arrange to meet her somewhere good, doing something she will enjoy and treat her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thelonewolflegend Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 Still flirt be light harded about it no move making? Be honest with her? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 Tell her you are looking for a woman who is ready to date now then go find a woman who doesn't have issues. Honestly, you could waste months trying to prove yourself to this woman only to have her jump into bed with the first guy that she is super attracted to. You can stick it out if you want, but don't get yourself into a BF without benefits situation where you are ignoring other women & end up in the friend zone. It's happened to me and my friends too many times. Link to post Share on other sites
Author thelonewolflegend Posted December 6, 2014 Author Share Posted December 6, 2014 so what should i do if she asks just dissmiss it or be honest still see her just not as much? Link to post Share on other sites
Molly Hooper Posted December 6, 2014 Share Posted December 6, 2014 so what should i do if she asks just dissmiss it or be honest still see her just not as much? Asks what? Asks if you want to have sex? Asks if you're interested in sex? Just be honest with her - being physical is important to you in a relationship (or in general). But don't be a jerk. If she isn't ready yet, she isn't ready yet. If you're an ass about it, she will never be ready with you. But if it's THAT important to you, then it sounds like you guys may not be a good match anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
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