greenman77 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I am new to the dating world and I'm not sure how to proceed and would appreciate some insight and opinions. I've gone on 3 dates with a girl I met online. I've known her in person for almost 3 weeks now. The dates have gone fairly well (holding hands in the last two but no kissing yet) and we have some stuff in common although not a whole lot (mostly we like most of the same movies, tv shows etc.) but I enjoy her company and I think she enjoys mine too. If she didn't, we wouldn't have gone out 3 times and she wouldn't initiate contact from time to time right? (I would think). Here's my dilemma, I like this girl but it's been 3 dates now and I'm not feeling like I'm crazy about her. By the 3 date mark if I'm still not crazy about her does that mean that I maybe should stop pursuing her? I'm having a really hard time putting this into words that make sense so I apologize if it's a little hard to understand. I just don't know what to do. We haven't kissed yet. She seems like the shy type and I'm very very shy too. Maybe once we kiss it will become clear? I don't know... I do think she's really cool and enjoy being around her. Sorry for making this such a long post. I would appreciate if anyone could enlighten me. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I am new to the dating world and I'm not sure how to proceed and would appreciate some insight and opinions. I've gone on 3 dates with a girl I met online. I've known her in person for almost 3 weeks now. The dates have gone fairly well (holding hands in the last two but no kissing yet) and we have some stuff in common although not a whole lot (mostly we like most of the same movies, tv shows etc.) but I enjoy her company and I think she enjoys mine too. If she didn't, we wouldn't have gone out 3 times and she wouldn't initiate contact from time to time right? (I would think). Here's my dilemma, I like this girl but it's been 3 dates now and I'm not feeling like I'm crazy about her. By the 3 date mark if I'm still not crazy about her does that mean that I maybe should stop pursuing her? I'm having a really hard time putting this into words that make sense so I apologize if it's a little hard to understand. I just don't know what to do. We haven't kissed yet. She seems like the shy type and I'm very very shy too. Maybe once we kiss it will become clear? I don't know... I do think she's really cool and enjoy being around her. Sorry for making this such a long post. I would appreciate if anyone could enlighten me. Thanks. Well, after 3 dates you shouldn't be feeling crazy about her. You at least like her enough to have gone on three dates and you said the same about her. You have nothing to lose by going out again and going for the kiss if you are so inclined. I would say, though, that after that kiss you are all of a sudden crazy about her, it's more about hormones. Just keep emotions/hormones in check. Enjoy the date and let things flow naturally. If there is someone else you are already more "crazy" about, ask her out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenman77 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 Well, after 3 dates you shouldn't be feeling crazy about her. You at least like her enough to have gone on three dates and you said the same about her. You have nothing to lose by going out again and going for the kiss if you are so inclined. I would say, though, that after that kiss you are all of a sudden crazy about her, it's more about hormones. Just keep emotions/hormones in check. Enjoy the date and let things flow naturally. If there is someone else you are already more "crazy" about, ask her out. Thanks for the reply. It's not like I NEED to kiss her. Thing is, she's a bit older than I am and I'm sure she's more experienced, so I feel like if I don't do it soon she'll lose interest? Maybe it's all in my head? God.. Who knows.. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Thanks for the reply. It's not like I NEED to kiss her. Thing is, she's a bit older than I am and I'm sure she's more experienced, so I feel like if I don't do it soon she'll lose interest? Maybe it's all in my head? God.. Who knows.. I understand what you're saying. Yes, she's older, however, if the tables were turned and you were the older, more experienced person here, you wouldn't put pressure on her for a kiss. You'd make an attempt and respect her wishes. She is older, you can make the attempt, if she accepts, you're golden. If she moves on because you didn't make a move on her, then she's just in it for sex maybe, like some guys. But you'll likely never know either way for a little while anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 It is a judgement call but I say take her out for the 4th date and go for the kiss. Physical intimacy like that can change everything. But if you're still not feeling it, then let her know. Best part about being older and dating = you can cut through the BS pretty easily. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 Yes let her know early to if you are not feeling it. Do not drag it on. My last ex led me to believe we were in a serious relationship. I thought things were fine. Only to have him do a 360 on me 3 weeks later saying 'he was not feeling it.' I was so hurt and angry wondering why he even bothered to make it more official in the first place. Only do it if you know for sure that is what you want. Cause it here is nothing worse then saying one thing to a person then doing another like he did. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenman77 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 It is a judgement call but I say take her out for the 4th date and go for the kiss. Physical intimacy like that can change everything. But if you're still not feeling it, then let her know. Best part about being older and dating = you can cut through the BS pretty easily. We are not old at all. I meant that she's a little older. I'm 22 and she's 24. Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenman77 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 I think I will ask her out again and maybe go for the kiss but I'm absolutely terrified of doing it though. Link to post Share on other sites
rdet123 Posted November 28, 2014 Share Posted November 28, 2014 I think I will ask her out again and maybe go for the kiss but I'm absolutely terrified of doing it though. I think if you don't go in for the kiss this next date you ruin the chance of becoming friend zoned. A girl wants the guy to make the first move. If she has went on 3 dates with you she obviously likes you! I think you just need to forget the nervousness and do it! Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenman77 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Share Posted November 28, 2014 I think if you don't go in for the kiss this next date you ruin the chance of becoming friend zoned. A girl wants the guy to make the first move. If she has went on 3 dates with you she obviously likes you! I think you just need to forget the nervousness and do it! Good luck I think you're right. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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