Success first online dating message, the second.... ugh.

[Murtz]

So this girl came off rather intelligent in her profile. She is going into journalism and wants to used different multimedia platforms to give the news.

 

I sent her a message saying how I want to do the same thing as a Math Teacher to try to make math more interesting for students. I asked her some of the ideas she had to integrate it into journalism. She responded how she would and sent me one of those "She likes you".

 

This is further than I really expected to go, however her response didn't really leave anything open for more conversation. So I then commented how I noticed she knows a lot of languages and that I asked why she learned all of those.

 

As soon as I sent that I felt like it was becoming and interview and I became bored of myself. As you can expect I haven't gotten a response. I decided that it can't hurt to wait after the holidays and send one more. However how can I write a new message that comes off more fun, not needy, and not apologetic of my previous message that was pretty cringeworthy. On her profile she mentions that she is not offended by a joke at her expense, maybe I can use that in some way.

 

I know can just move on to the next one, but it wouldn't hurt just to try one more message before I do. What tips do you all have?

[deathandtaxes]

No response to your response? DO NOT send another message. When somebody responds and it doesn't really continue the conversation - ie they don't ask questions etc, then they're just being polite. If you messaged them and they haven't messaged back, you WILL come across as needy. What if they're just taking their time getting back to you? Either that or they're just not interested. Move along son, happens all the time.

[PogoStick]

I've heard to avoid conversations about something like her job or schooling because it's very ordinary. You'll sound like a friend of her parents. Though, I don't avoid it completely. If those things interest me I ask.

 

You can try being aloof, making a foolish type of joke. I'm not sure how to give an example, it happens on the fly. It's probably something either you can do or you can't.

 

Just for you I'm going to look up a recent successful Tinder conversation.

 

One, a girl is in a white dress (bridesmaid) in a picture with a very young boy. I twisted it slightly and acted like she was the bride, asking "Why is your groom so young?" She replies, she's at a wedding with her son (which I assumed). I opened the door for her to talk about the most important thing in her life.

 

Then I tease her a little more "Oh good, so you're not one of those teachers who date their students that I keep seeing in the news these days?" The joke played well, it turns out she is in fact a teacher. Also, the "oh good" subtly approved of her as a mother.

 

I ended up learning about what she does in a more playful way than simply asking about her job. Even if she wasn't a teacher, the question had opened the door for her to answer, "No I'm not a teacher but I do XYZ." She may or may not have taken that bait but I put it out there.

 

Naturally, she asks what I do, one of which is leading senior fitness classes. Rather than say that directly, I told her "I teach old ladies how to not fall and break their hip." It's playful and not spoon feeding her, forcing her to work a little if she really wants to know. She has to ask for clarification, now she's chasing instead of me.

 

Does that give you any ideas?

[kolleamm]

Welcome to the world of online dating, good luck getting out of it....

[PogoStick]

BTW, instead of asking her plainly about those languages, why not:

Do you know (German) well enough to talk yourself out of (a Nazi hostage situation)?

Has she learned the language of love? (cheesy? so what.)

Which language sounds the most romantic?

Tell her you want to hear her best sexy Klingon accent.

 

Those open the door to FUN conversation.