is he interested/should i ask him out

[catherinedayton]

Hi all,

 

I have developed feelings for a coworker and am in two minds whether he is interested in me.

 

I have felt this way about him for a few months and we get on great, but a couple of weeks ago we were both attending a leaving party and arranged to meet early as he would arrive at the bar early, therefore exchanged phone numbers.

 

Night went well, chatted, laughed together etc. I was very drunk and text on my way home asking him if he was aware that I fancied him! He replied saying he would talk to me next week. The following week there was absolutely no awkwardness and if anything we are chatting more. He has mentioned before that he is painfully scared of rejection and has been single for years because of it, having missed a few chances with other women.

 

We have shared interests and exchange films and books with each other pretty much every week. Whenever we are in a meeting he makes a point of sitting next to me always and looks directly at me wheneve he talks to me (eye contact, posture etc.) So, my question is - do you think he is interested and should I bite the bullet and ask him out for a drink? I'm worried I am reading too much ibtobthis, surely if he was interested he would have said something more than 'speak to you next week :-) ' on the original message when I asked him if he knew i fancied him...then againI was v.drunk so perhaps he thought it inappropriate to respond to my statement?

 

What do you think? Does he like me/want me to ask him out or is he just being friendly? Do guys like women asking them out or get a bit scared of over confident women?!!

[preraph]

Well, if he's no better at this about picking up the ball, I reckon he is missing opportunities that come his way. I would think about two things. When he confided to you about being shy and missing opportunities because of it, does that sound like something you'd tell a girl you are interested in or something you'd tell a friend or coworker you considered off limits? I don't know the answer to that. Seems to me if you have enough nerve to confess that kind of embarrassing detail to someone, you ought to have enough to respond to opportunity, but again, who can know for sure.

 

The other thing to consider is will you be happy with a man who is fearful to the point of incapacitating his love life and who obviously isn't willing to take initiative? I was okay with that for awhile when young, because I am so decisive and not fearful, but I got very tired of it after awhile and began to avoid it (and essentially stopped dating waiting for a man strong like me but also unconventional). But everyone is different.

 

And then there's this: It might be fun to just not think about anything and just don't overthink it and just ask him out and see firsthand what happens. Even if it doesn't work out, usually new people will add something to our lives and our perspective and give us a memory or two. And it might just be what he needs to give him some self-confidence and put him on his feet. Good luck.