Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 My last serious relationship was over a decade ago (he recently they tried to contact me and I ignored him) but I've dated here and there, fallen love unrequitedly and dated this nice guy but not quite right for me for about six months. I've slept with a few people but no more than eight. My sexual and relationship experience may not be much for a 31 year old but just recently I've started getting to know this really really great guy. He's 23 years older than I am. I kind of feel I'm skipping entrée and main course and going straight for desert. I was wondering if anyone can give me the advice of dating someone much older. What the pros and cons are, what to look out for? I'm definitely ready to date seriously I just didn't expect it to be someone so much older. He's already saying he really likes me. Advice? Link to post Share on other sites
SalchiPapa Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 (edited) I can tell you a few things I think... My current girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. Neither of us really care what others think. We worry about each other. When we first met, which was 4 years ago, we started off as just friends. Both of us were in relationships that we weren't happy with. After our relationships ended we started to hang out as friends - then friends with benefits - and now a committed relationship. Never during the time before we were officially together did I ever think about our age differences being an obstacle. It never crossed my mind until someone brought it to my attention. I scratched my head and then went back to what I was doing. For the most part she is very mature for her age and I am more of the clown and immature (but in a good way). We are both responsible adults. I look young for my age. I am always told I look about 37 or 38. I've aged gracefully. She looks great. No one ever thinks there's such an age difference. I really don't care what others think. We get along great. It's usually our "baggage" that causes our disagreements. We have our differences like other couples, but we get through them and always have a smile on our face shortly after. People can't believe how in love we are and have been together 1-1/2 years. We're like teenagers they say! My family & her family are happy for us. No one has said anything negative to us -- as long as we're happy. Here are a few things to consider before jumping in: -Can you handle the age difference? Are your friends and family going to judge you? Can you handle that? How well do you know him? Is he just looking for a short term or long term relationship? It's ok for a short term if that's what you want but you don't want to get used. Remember, he's older than you and you don't want to be a trophy. Do you think you two will look good together or look odd? I consider myself very lucky. Do you have kids? Does he? If he does have kids are they about your age? My GF has 1 kid and I have 2 kids. Both of ours are young. A big issue is that she wants one more and I most likely don't! Something to consider? I am not trying to talk you out of it. As a matter of fact I think you should go for it but be forewarned that there might be some issues. My GF and I knew each other way before we fell in love so this isn't just a fling for me - or for her. She generally likes older guy because we bring stability to the relationship. Good luck Edited November 26, 2014 by SalchiPapa 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mysteryscape Posted November 26, 2014 Share Posted November 26, 2014 I would go for it if you are interested. Can you really meet as equals e.g. will he condescend to you when the novelty of your yourth begins to wear off, and will you get tired of his maturity? Something to think about: what if you get serious, even married, and the older person becomes ill or dies while you are still relatively young? Link to post Share on other sites
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